Sunday, March 28, 2010

100 reasons Why I Am Thankful

Why am I thankful?! Cause I have so much to be thankful for...for a while now I've been having some issues, big and small. I'm normally a very positive person...I try my best to look at the silver lining even when it's too small to see with the human eye (lol). And lately that has just not been my MO...not really sure why...jury's still out on that...So in order to create a more positive outlook I put myself on punishment...do nothing else until you come up with 100 things you're thankful for. Why you ask did I do this? To help me see the silver lining...some of the things on here are big...some very small...but all things that I am thankful for.

Making this list was a challenge especially since I only had a weekend. Why such a quick turnaround? Because why put off what you can do today...I needed myself to make this important like anything else I would do if I was getting paid or getting a grade for it. I needed this for my sanity to show myself even when things are bad...they aren't really that bad. I needed myself to understand that I have so much to be thankful for.

I will be honest getting to 100 was a true chore, but on any given day I'm sure there are 100 things I should be grateful for that I overlook because they are so microscopic. So without anymore extra 'words' here's my list:

1.I’m thankful for my belief in the Most High…sometimes it’s just the thought that helps
2.I’m thankful for my mom and dad and everything that have done and will continue to do for me....I love them to death!! Even when they drive me crazy.
3.Of course I’m thankful for my life partner…someone who thought I was worthy enough to be with for life. (sometimes it amazes me)
4.I’m thankful for my extended family…they also made me who I am…so they should both apologize and be thankful :)
5.I am thankful for being slightly sheltered…sheltered enough to know I'm safe, but also free enough to experience on my own
6.I am thankful for my health…I’m trying more and more every day by watching what I eat and exercising to show how thankful I am
7.I’m thankful for private school education all the way through college and being debt-free when I got out…
8.I am thankful for being well-rounded
9.I am thankful for music…Daryl Coley, Boyz II Men, Anita Baker, India.arie, Chrisette Michele, Jill Scott, Kindred the Family Soul, Musiq, Joe, Algebra, Lauryn Hill, Maxwell, Chaka Khan, Tamia, Brandy, Kelly Price, Jazmine Sullivan, Stevie Wonder, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and a ton more…
10.I’m thankful for the person I was and the person I am to become (by God’s grace)
11.I’m uber thankful for my house…I was a homeowner before 24…a feat not accomplished by most
12.I’m thankful for my job, and hopefully soon a career
13.I’m thankful for my car that I have had since sophomore year in college from my parents (told you they were a blessing)
14.I’m thankful for the blessed hope…”O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?’ – 1 Corinthians 15:55 KJV
15.I’m thankful for learning (books and common sense)…once it was a priceless gift, I try my best not to take it for grated
16.I thankful for being me…although at times it might suck…today it’s cool and that’s what matters most
17.Thankful for my amazing cooking abilities…I rock! It’s my one true talent.
18.I’m thankful sometimes for my caring spirit…although it can be taken advantage of it’s nice to know I was helpful
19.I’m thankful for friendships lost, they make me even more thankful for friendships I have, and thankful for new friendships to come
20.I’m thankful to see and hear…two things too many people wish for
21.I’m thankful to be in my right mind…I can get ‘crazy’ but I can always function
22.I’m thankful at times for twitter, but mostly thankful for the new people I’ve met they keep my laughing and keep my days less dull
23.I’m thankful for my Christian, HBCU (don’t know what this means…shame on you…) education…aka The Oakwood Experience
24.When I get it I’m thankful for peace of mind…it’s those restful moments when all is well
25.I’m thankful to be a godparent.
26.I’m thankful to be considered a friend…to some people with high standards
27.I’m thankful to be a big sister even though they try not to listen to me most times
28.I’m thankful for those that came before me and paved the path: Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Ralph David Abernathy, Ida B. Wells, Rosa Parks, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, great aunts and uncles, you get the idea
29.I’m thankful for my fence, took a year to get it and paid for it in cash…patience pays off
30.I’m thankful for patience (of the saints sometimes)…I'm thankful for it even when it is no where in sight
31.I’m thankful for fruit…my favorite kind is watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries, grapes (red and hard), bananas, nectarines, plums (I like prunes too), and apples.
32.I’m also thankful for vegetables: corn, greens, spinach, string beans, broccoli, carrots, squash, green peppers, and mushrooms.
33.I’m thankful that I don’t settle for mediocrity…cause it’s not expectable
34.I’m thankful for the story of Job, life is not always (never) fair…but praise God anyhow
35. I’m thankful for my clothes and shoes…slightly vain but I really like most of them and they make me look good ;o)
36.I’m thankful for having things to smile about
37.I’m thankful because in the grand scheme of things, stuff will work out in the end’
38.I’m thankful for true love…enough said
39.I’m thankful for loyalty
40.I’m thankful for the truth
41.I’m thankful for flowers…they add so much color to the world
42.I love water, so I’m thankful for oceans…but I slightly scared to swim in there…while the whales, sharks, fish and etc are amazing…they terrify me and I look to observe them at a distance
43.I’m thankful for my 2 dogs they remind me of how much I am not ready for children at this point…seriously people 3 years at the least…I’m in my prime :D
44.I’m thankful for common sense…it’s not as common as you think
45.I’m thankful for my ability to be insightful and observant…
46.I’m thankful for the time I got to know myself and who I truly am
47.I’m thankful for professional lessons learned…you won’t always work with people you like but you have to still get along with them
48.I’m thankful advancements in technology…of course for the obvious reasons…lol
49.I’m thankful for spring/fall weather…it makes me soooo happy….I wish it was year around weather
50.I’m thankful I made it half way through this list…100 is a lot…but even after 50 I feel so warm and fuzzy I have a ton to be thankful for.
51.I’m thankful I’ve never been homeless, without food or clothes on my back
52.I’m thankful for 25 years…almost…
53.Thankful I am able to give…blood (I’m O positive…holla at me if you are too I might need you one day) …money…time…love...encouragement
54.I am thankful for the paths I have chosen and the people I have met that have made a big deal in my life
55.I’m thankful for long hair and ponytails
56.I am thankful for restful weekends and lazy Sundays
57.I am thankful for national holidays, most times just for the break.... :)
58.I am thankful being able to smile....and being genuine most times
59.I am thankful for adversity...it's a necessary evil that I still resist
60.Sometimes I am thankful that I wear my heart my sleeve
61.I am thankful for financial stability at this point in my life and my parents who taught me how to deal with my finances.
62.I am thankful for my domestic skills...I can do it all
63.If I didn't express it enough I am thankful for my husband...he has taught me more than he knows (even when I resist it)...mostly I appreciate him for appreciating me even when I don't appreciate myself
64.I am thankful for my stubbornness...it has taught me that sometimes you have to be bullheaded to get what you want
65.I am thankful for my flat iron for obvious reasons...lol!!
66.I am thankful for food...I love to eat! #thatisall
67.I am thankful for celebrations...it means we have something to celebrate and be thankful for
68.I am thankful for those who have and always will have my back
69.I am thankful for those who love me for who I am and what I am
70.I thankful I started writing this and have gotten this far...
71.The fact that I have working organs at this moment makes me thankful.
72.I am thankful for the significant others that have entered some of my friends life..
73.I am thankful for my blinds!! It took forever to get them all
74.I thankful that sexually I took the road less traveled....
75.I am thankful for the cross...Amen
76.I thankful for a listening ear...
77.I am thankful for being able to write and let it out cause sometimes talking just doesn't cut it...Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks....
78.While sometimes I am at a lost for finding my true abilities...I am thankful for them
79.I am thankful for honesty.
80.I am thankful at times that life is continuously moving cause if not I would not move...#fact
81.I am thankful for my dining room table...ask and it shall be given
82.I am thankful for my Wii, it's kept me on my game for the most part
83.I am jumping for joy and thankfulness that I finally got most of cd collection on my computer and ipod
84.Thankful for salt and pepper for without them food would be bland...(oh and sage, lemon pepper, onion and garlic powder, blackened seasoning...you get the point)
85.Thankful for intimacy and the tender moments
86.I am thankful for face-to-face interaction
87.I am thankful for lights, so I can see (I know that was way to easy)
88.I am thankful for the Kings English, even though it is abused daily (sometimes even by me...*holds head down*)
89.Thankful for lessons learned the hard way...cause they are truly lessons learned
90.I am thankful for my diligence and self-discipline, say what you want about me but I am focused (except when my ADHD kicks in...lol!)
91.I am thankful for my grandparents and the life they lived...
92.I am thankful for my godchild and that she made it into this world safe and sound...
93.I thankful for the sunshine!!! The clouds were making my gloomy and depressed...
94.I am thankful for prevention...I'll leave it at that
95.I am thankful I am able to see when my best isn't good enough
96.I am thankful that I am not afraid to say I'm sorry (sometimes....I know)
97.I thankful the time I have, had, and will have....basically thankful for the past, present and the future
98.Thankful for Kell, Naya, Candace, and Krystle....
99.Thankful that I have things to be thankful for...
100.I am thankful I made it to 100, and that I made myself do this....to help me see what's most important...

The end with happy contentment and a fulfilling commitment...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Creative Writing

The first poem was a free verse. "Let the chips fall where they may."

THOUGHTS
Silence…
Alone with my thoughts
Back and forth they go,
Fighting for a bit of attention
And finally they stop
….On you
Your smile, your style
You’re just being…you.
Always thought you were
The one for me
Always thought we would be
But…
Interrupted by another thought
Remember the time you…
Or do you remember…
Caught off guard again
By the thoughts of…me and you
Together…Apart…
Wait…here comes another one
Thoughts haunt me…in the silence
They torture me, repeatedly
As I close my eyes the thoughts
Become subdued…once again
It is silent…
And here I am alone with my thoughts.



The second poem was a cinquain. Based on a Langston Hughes poem. ;)

Wishing…
Love lost:
looking like new,
dressed up but feeling blue.
Wishing for a love that once was
(lovesick)?

This is Me...

http://findingcontentment.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-am-whatever-i-say-i-am.html

http://findingcontentment.blogspot.com/2009/04/progress.html

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Random Thoughts

So for most of you who really know me…you know I like (LOVE) to talk and hang…and there's usually very little I hold back…well that is rapidly changing…I've gone from extrovert to introvert. Basically I feel like I am becoming cold to the idea of friends…cause I've lost my faith in most of them…*shrug*...

I'm tired of overextending myself for people who could not give a ____. (Yes I feel like that)

I feel like people are requiring too much out of me…I would much rather not talk about it…

I know I said earlier that I was going to be more honest with my friends…blah, blah, blah…and that is true (at least with the true friends I have left especially after this post) but only when my advice or opinon is solicited. The truth is people can't handle the truth and in the end they hold it against you…*shrug*…everyone does...

I have a story I am not going to tell for fear of the reprecussions but I will say this…I felt slighted and it may be me being selfish, but it's how I feel. I need to stop dismissing how I feel just because it might make someone else uncomfortable.

These days I am much happier with acquiantences than with friends because it's less emotional strain…

Also I have come to the conclusion I need some friends that do not associate with my other friends, because…well you know why… :)

Even after all this I am much happier now than I was earlier in the year. I think it's mainly because I've accepted life for what it is and what I have. The fact is it's my life and it's how I chose to live.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Maybe I Am Perfect

I am a month away from 25 and I have accomplished more than some accomplished before 35. I finished a BBA in Marketing, an Associates in Accouning, and a MBA…I been married for 1 1/2 and I own a home. I plan on waiting as long as I can and building up as much wealth as I can before I have kids…(Seriously people 3 - 5 years...maybe longer…it's not as long as it seems). Most of what I have wanted to accomplish I have…

I have both of my parents...I managed to get into a GREAT relationship without half of the BS that some people go through. (I determined early on that I would not take BS and I stuck to that even though it meant little to no dating in college…honestly even though at times I think I might have missed out in the grand scheme of things it's not worth it)…I also stuck to my vow to remain celibate until marriage (I couldn't handle the emotional strain that it puts on you I'm convinced)...I have a job (career...Jury's still out on that)…but it pays well and I live well…So from the unassuming (and maybe the assuming) eye… I'm Perfect! :)




*****************PAUSE FOR EFFECT******************



Of course I couldn't end there…I guess this is the time I would expose all my flaws that make me not perfect as people think and shock and amaze you as readers…Welp…here it goes…I am probably as straight laced as they come (kind of)…I have strayed very little from my goals and plans. Maybe I'm a prude *shrug* that's something I must face, but I'm not apologetic for it…I am what I wanted to become (sort of)...

So here's the big kicker (not really)…I'm not Perfect…not by a long stretch…as a matter of fact, perfect is relative…I did what I had to do to get the life I wanted…and frankly everyone has the same ability…I live a simple, somewhat prudish lifestyle…I could give you trite but true sayings like attitude determines altitude or happiness just like perfection is relative, decide and act…but I will say this…I am Blessed…plan and simple…and I acknowledge that daily…Perfection is in the hand's of the Creator…and my contentment lies in Him...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Little White 'friendship' Lies

Some people just can't handle the truth, better yet some people don't really want to hear the truth they would rather experience it on their own. Even better than that you can't tell grown folks what to do...

However I can't help to think that maybe if I was more honest it would have at least put more of a bug in their ear.

Friend: Do you think we have a good relationship?
Me: Um well I haven't seen you interact that much, so can't really say (cop out)
Should have said: You both have a lot of things to work on personally...you have a lot of open ends and that's not going to work in this type of situation. Or going to make for a great relationship.

Friend: We're getting married.
Me: (in my head) you're crazy....your totally not ready. (Outloud) Oh wow...
Should have said: Do you think your ready? It's a huge step and you can't undue it once it done. I know you know that, but from my perspective this is not a good idea.

Friend: He's not ready for a relationship...
Me: If you are you should say so you deserve so much more.
Should have said: Are you ready? Then you tell him, and if he can't get with that, maybe it's time to move on Don't stand for that *ish. You don't have too, they're too many people who would jump at the opportunity to be with you.

Friend: He's not serious
Me: Oh really? Interesting...
Should have said: Nope he's not and frankly neither are you...don't waste your time...like you did on the last 5 guys who had the same MO as him.

I know what you're thinking...don't save them...they don't want to be saved (I couldn't resist). But like most people I love I want to protect my friends. I know heart break and hard lessons are inevitable (especially for stubborn people)...but you can't blame a girl for trying.

But the truth is I haven't been completely honest all the time. I've sugar-coated and filtered messages because sometimes (most times) my views are unpopular and I feel like people can't handle the whole unfiltered, unsweetented truth. Yes the truth full-on is hard to hear, but it's also hard to deliver.

Anyway I said all this to say I want to be more honest with all my friends, with myself, and vice versa. I want to feel like they are telling me the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and that I am doing the same for them. Sometimes it's hard to see something when you're in the thick of it. Someone with a more panoramic view might be helpful in assessing the situation.

I don't know everything and I don't claim to know everything, but what I do know is this. Lies no matter what color, hue or how big or small don't benefit anyone in the long run. We became friends for a reason and now it's time to see if that friendship can truly stand the test of time and honesty.

Finding contentment in telling the truth in friendships...

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

So...today I want to be anybody but me...maybe

Today is one of those days when being me just isn't that cool. Of course being someone else might suck too...

So who exactly do I want to be?

Maybe just a cooler version of me (although I'm pretty cool already) I'd keep the main stuff that makes me...and add...well come to think of it....I'm just me and that's the best I can be.

Building contentment takes analysis...