So.....

I've been meaning to write...I mean really I have. So much is going on though.

I got a new position at work, that is working me like crazy. It was definitely a good change, my boss' suggestion so kudos to him.

I'm moving to New York. Matt got a new job, and so we're off. Well at least he is off. I'm still chilling in the city of mediocrity (lol!).

I plan on leaving by the first week in February. *shrug*

It's crazy cause I know if this would have happened this time last year or the year before last, I would have not been ready. It's amazing that God knows you what you need and when.

Please pray for our house to sell and me to find a job!!

And I'm out...

Thanksgiving Special

So I've been writing this blog for sometime, and now is as good as of a time. I want you all to know. I love you and appreciate you!

> > Family:

> > Mom - the very things I think annoyed me growing up about you are traits I have developed...staying longer than everyone else to help clean, doing things for others because they are nice even though it's an inconvenience. I'll spare the normal thanks for the roof over my head, college education, and car. Thanks for making the awesome, God-fearing woman I am today.
> >
Dad - I'm most definitely a daddy's girl. I truly appreciate all the sacrifice. I believe that's it because of your example I chose such a wonderful candidate for my life partner.
> >
Cicily - I know I get on you about all that ATTITUDE, but I would be lying if I didn't say I had a lot back then too. I love being a big sister to such an smart young lady. Make you respect yourself and others will follow.
> >
Tyler - I know you think most of the time I'm on your back, but it's only because I love you. It's when I stop worrying about you that you should be concerned. Stay diligent in all you do and your hardwork will pay off.
> >
Matt - to one of the most important people in my life...thanks for exposing my flaws, pointing out my mistakes, correcting me constantly...ultimately thanks for making me a better me (even though I usually don't receive it well). You have challenged and I hope I have done the same for you. You have become one of my best buddies...I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to many more to come...
> >
> > Friends:
> >
Naya (Amyah) - where do I begin?! I love you girl. We've been together since grade school, can you believe it? I can't...through marriages births, who would have thought. Thank you for you friendship, for your sisterhood...thank for my first niece, she's sooo awesome like her mom (and her godmother LOL). Thanks you for entrusting me with the awesome responsibility of being myah's godmother. It's really a honor.  And in case I don't say it enough, you're awesome. I've watched you turn some coal like situations into diamonds. You deserve all the greatness that is coming your way. Myah J - auntie J loves you very (and maybe one day uncle mack will too LOL kidding)
> >
Krystle - twelve years and counting...I know you've been trying to get rid of me, but guess you've noticed I've yet to leave (I haven't seen you leaving either, so...lol). And honestly I don't plan too. We've grown too attach now. Thanks for consistently calling, it makes me feel like someone cares.
> >
Ebony - you restored my faith in adult friendships. I brag on you all the time, about how great a friend you are. I mean seriously...You're the best!! I very thankful our paths crossed. And I'm soo excited for you and all the wonderful things that will be happening to you next year. And I hope to continue to be included to celebrate with you!
> >
Kell - let's recap, you got married, graduated from law school, passed the bar...that's more than some people do in a lifetime. And I would expect nothing less. Our relationship has evolved from roommate to friends, and it's been a fun journey. Your the greatest traveling partner (and candace). I can't imagine trips without y'all! Which reminds need a trip ASAP...we have one coming up. Yay!!! Can't wait!
> >
Candace - I'm so thankful your okay, seriously. After we got off the phone I kept thinking how thankful I am you are ok. If I think about it too long I'll probably burst into tears. Who would I call and harass or panic too?!
> >
Mialana - thanks for just listening, and thanks for sharing. We don't talk as much as we used too, but you will always hold a special place in my heart. It's so great to have someone who understands you when your at your lowest and doesn't kick you while your down.

Justwrite85 Answers Questions

So I came across this on CNN.com…I liked the question because it happens more than people think. And I wanted to give it a stab and answer it.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have been in a long-distance relationship for six months with a guy I’ve known about two years through work; we’ve seen each other in person for what amounts to a month during vacations and we talk daily via Internet chat and video.

I’m in my late twenties; he’s in his early thirties. I really care for him and thought I was falling in love. Things were going really well on our last vacation up until the end of the trip when I asked him was there anything in the relationship bothering him, and he told me that while I had a very pretty face, my weight has been an issue for him.

I have dropped some weight since I’ve first known him and currently wear S-M shirts, U.S. size 8 in pants. He soon apologized after seeing how much it hurt me, but I know it’s honestly what he feels, and is a factor in his attraction to me. He said that while it was a factor, it wasn’t a “dealbreaker.” I can’t stop thinking about it and my self-esteem has taken a bruising. I was working on losing more weight, and this could be a kick in the butt to get on it, but I wonder what it could mean long-term.

I sometimes want to end the relationship because of this and because he doesn’t seem to be as attached as I am, but a part of me wants to see what happens next year. Perhaps I’m moving too fast anyway. What do you think? — Weighty Issues

Dear Weighty Issues,

Six months is a long time, and the fact that you knew him 2 years before that, your size should be no surprise. With that being said people have types, ‘prototypes’ and things they like or prefer. They have the right to have these slight ‘discriminations’ because in all honesty they ultimately have to ‘deal’ with it for as long as the relationship last. The only exception, in my opinion, is if significant change happens during the relationship (i.e. pregnancy weight gain, thyroid issues, etc). If not he went in with eyes wide open, so he can not use this as an excuse, but it doesn’t seem like he did. He was honest and I do applaud him for his honesty…but at what expense?

Weight is such a sensitive subject and it can really pierce deep, sometimes we don’t realize how deep until the spotlight is on us. I can understand why you would take a personal, but to be completely honest, he was just answering a question. If he says it is not a deal breaker, maybe it is taking him some time to get used to it, to get over his ‘discriminations.’ Our basic instincts, wants and desires are deeply embedded. They make up who we are and while at times they may be bias, illogical and/or irrational, they are apart of us.  They are innate characteristics that we possess, so it can take some time to revamp our thinking and replace them with unbiased, logical and rational results. He may be used to dating a certain type of woman. You may be the opposite of that, and it may take him some time to realize his ‘problem’ with your weight is not a problem at all or to realize it is HIS problem and not yours.

Next, we come to the question of whether to end the relationship or wait and see what happens next year. One thing to remember is that while time heals wounds, it doesn’t change people…People rarely change. With all that being said you should consider the relationship as a whole when considering moving on, if he is not as involved as you then that may be a big red flag to move on. However, I don’t think that him expressing his discontent about your weight should be a deal breaker for you if it isn’t for him.

Lastly, losing weight should be a personal conviction. It should not be something that you do for someone else because most things done for others are short lived. Take control of your life and your weight because you want too, not because someone else thinks you should. If you are fine like you are, be proud of that. Be healthy, happy and contentent because ultimately you have to live with yourself.

My Hairstory

So the craziest realization happened to me the day the other day about my hair. I had gone to get my hair done, I figured it was time to get the ends clipped and see the damage I’ve been doing since I’ve just been letting my hair do its own thing. I got it clipped and pressed, it was pretty long just blow dried out, but of course after the cut L…but my hair needed it. The last time I pressed it out was for a friend’s wedding, and of course before the weekend was over so was my hair. That’s usually how it goes, and since I’ve been trying to exercise regularly pressing out my hair has not been an option. Also the fact that it is a production to do so, although I’ve gotten it down to about a 2.5 hour science.

So after I got it pressed I found myself doing the most to make sure I didn’t sweat it out or mess it up. I kept it tied up unless I was going out. I woke up early to press and curl it. I took so much more time getting ready. *SIGH* When I was finally ready to wash it, a week later I was super glad to have my natural curly hair back. Hair that doesn’t make me wench at the rain, hair that requires nothing more than a scrunchy and some gel…I didn’t realize how much I missed it. Simple morning washes and go, slicking it back into a bun, two strand twists. I missed it all.

Now let me get this out I am by no means a natural hair fanatic. I think you should be able to wear your hair any way you want to wear it. I think you should wear what looks good on you, not what is cool at the moment. While I have natural hair I don’t in any way really feel like I identify with “natural hair fanatics.” Perhaps it’s because I’ve been “natural” most my life. My mom let me get a perm in seventh grade after I begged, it was cool just didn’t want to keep it up. All my beauticians warned against it, but sometimes you just have to try things on your own to get it. I guess I don’t identify with them because I have the type of hair that lends itself to being natural, I have a nice wave, curl pattern that works well and is easy to style.

Honestly, I think people are too hype about the natural thing, that’s just my opinion. I don’t think it’s for everyone, but to each his own. However, seeing my natural hair again after a week felt liberating. I missed it. It reminded me of the first and only time I decided to get a track put it. My college graduation, I figured I would be running around and didn’t want to risk messing up a press. Well I was ready for that thing to come out three days later. I almost cut out a chunk of my hair to get it out, my dad finally rescued me (he was used to helping my mom, lol). Then and there I decided my hair was all I needed. I’m lazy when it comes to my hair and I take it for granted, but I really do appreciate it.

So sitting here typing this with my two strand twists untwisted I say maybe I am my hair. It doesn’t define, but it makes up a part of who I am. And when it’s in it natural state I am probably most content, which is the best place to be. J

A Year Later

It’s Tuesday…that loooooongest day of the week. I don’t know why Tuesday always seems so long, but it does. I always feel like time is just slowly milling away. Anywho from time to time I like to check my blog to see how I am doing now versus how I was a year ago.

Last year this time I was in school, tutoring, working and had just finished my second year as assistant youth leader for AYS. Talk about busy. I had also realized my need to distance myself from Twitter and those that chose to roam its streets, lol. I also just gotten the new Kirk Franklin CD, which I still bump faithfully until this day.

So what’s changed? I am no longer in school or tutoring. I needed a break from school, but I do have enough credits to teach on a collegiate level now. Hooray! That goal will soon be accomplished. I no longer work with the church youth…long story short. I have tried to get back into it, but people are not serious. I’ve made some good changes in my diet and exercise routine. I’ve seen some progress, still have a while to go though.

I’ve managed to find my life boat friends. These are the friends that I would put on a life boat with me cause I don’t want to not have them by my side. They have rescued me from despair and helped my split my sides in laughter. I can’t thank them enough, sometimes I’m sure they don’t know how much they help.

It’s almost time for my new job to start. I’m not sure how I feel about it, I’ll let you know when I start. The great thing is I think I’ll get stay on my every other Friday off schedule *fist pump*.

Spare the Rod...

So I’ve been rambling the last few posts. I figured it’d be nice to get an organized post together.

This is not the original article I saw, but it’s the basic story. I saw a clip from the CNN story with Don Lemon, where they had a therapist on reputing the need for corporal punishment, spanking. http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2011-10-06/news/os-child-abuse-video-arrest-20111006_1_child-abuse-video-youtube

There’s a story in the news about a 25 year-old black man who is accused of abuse. He posted a video on youtube (his dumbest crime) of his teaching a mentee a life lesson for acting out in school. He cut off the little boy’s hair and eyebrows (a bit extreme), spanked him, and made him do a series of bootcamp exercises (possibly also a bit extreme). Now I am not sure what the little boy did, and if the crime really fit the punishment, but these are the facts as I know them (which means very little). Soon the National Center for Missing and Exploited Childrenen tipped off local authorities and this guy is being charged with child abuse. The mentor maintains that the purpose of all this was to teach the little boy a lesson and help him not become a statistic (another jail-bound black man). A noble lesson that hopefully is learned despite the circumstances.

First, it breaks my heart while teaching this lesson, the mentor will fall short of visions I’m sure he had for himself. Once he is convicted he will be caught up in the very cycle he was trying to keep this little boy out of. Yep, I said once he is convicted, he’s going down for this, which is unfortunate I think. I’m sure he felt his heart was in the right place, but the whole thing was poorly executed. It does concern me that the little boy was not his child, but he had been mentoring him for a year, so hopefully they had developed some time of bond. A bond where the child understood and appreciated the standard held, and understood the consequences of not abiding by those standards.

I honestly think his guy’s main crimes were his inability to be more discreet in teaching his lesson, and the extremity of the punishment itself. Part of me feels the punishment was extreme, but I don’t know the crime. I am a firm believer in corporal punishment by way of spanking, to help aid in teaching and correcting. I believe it is important to use physical punishment in combination with verbal lessons (no profanity, or yelling, needed), so that the child understands their wrongdoings and is able to make better decisions in future situations. However, I also am quick to add that, punishments should be tailored to the child, not every child needs a spanking. Parents/Guardians should consider this when disciplining.

The main problem I have with the original snippet I saw was the therapist point of view. Some may think that spanking is not necessary and call it abuse. And I believe spanking can be taken too far, and has been many times before, but I also think it a legitimate way to discipline a child. I hope this guy, and his mentee, have learned some important life lessons. Everyone doesn’t agree with spanking and, in general, we can agree to disagree, “but as for me and my house…”

Sleepy in the Cube

I’m sitting here at my desk…sleepy. Because I decided to stay until after one watching Felicity the series on Netflix. I kept telling myself it was a bad idea to watch another episode, but myself did not listen. Well now I am paying for it. I have actually lasted longer than I thought I would have. So to keep myself from laying my head on my desk and taking a little siesta. I’ll just blog to pass the time. Which essentially means another ramble blog, or perhaps somewhere along my ramble I’ll find a purpose.

So the marriage retreat is coming up soon. Actually next month. I usually am excited to go because I’ve enjoyed myself the times I’ve gone. Just something in my spirit is not willing this year. I think it’s the fact that we have gone three years in a row and still don’t really “know” anyone. We get reacquainted every year and I guess I’m not in the mood for that.

Ever feel like you are being ignored by everyone? No, ok then it’s just me. Welp that’s how I felt this week, ignored and bothersome. Like I was constantly interrupting people anytime I tried to talk to them. And the moment I say that someone hits me up on gtalk. O_O So I decided to not reach out to anyone else except Eb this week as I didn’t feel welcomed. I’m probably being overly sensitive, I’ve been known to do that. *skips along*

I’m planning a game night over my house for my coworkers. I’m trying to decide if I should invite outside work peeps…

I was going to go to atl this weekend, but decided not too. For a couple reasons…I was there two weeks ago, it cost for gas and to put the dogs in the kennel. And after a while going just didn’t seem fun. *shrug*

I have a new phrase “weep softly” …I love coming with new phrases or stealing them from someone else.

I’ve been peeing like a race horse….drinking 64 ounces of water throughout the day has me staying in the bathroom. I wish I could move my computer into there.  

This gtalk chat is doing me good…