From time to time I write growth blogs, well here is another one. As I said before growth is painful, at least for me. When the control freak within me feels powerless, I lose it…a lot. I guess it seems that everything seems to fall apart at the same time or maybe it’s harder to see the good when the bad is what’s in focus. Either way, this is painful. My guess is that this won’t be the last time this happens, and as life continues it’ll only get worse. But how I handle each situation is getting better. I remember when this happened last time, and it was not pretty. Although it’s been challenging I think I’m handling it with a more grounded approach, this time (though closer sources might have a different opinion). It doesn’t mean I’m not discourage cause I am. It doesn’t mean I can see the light at the end of the tunnel cause I can’t. It means taking one day at a time and focusing on the Lord for my next step. Trying to keep my eyes on Him rather than my situation, which is working for the most part (until my human instincts to be ungrateful, argumentative, combative, uncompromising, and so on kick in). That's when the tough stuff starts. All in all I'm trying to take the neccessary strides to get better, and focus on my ultimate goal..."everybody talking about heaven ain't going there..."
...and scene. ;-)
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Them
There will always be those that understand you best.
They've seen you at best, and stood tall beside you.
They've seen you at your worst and loved you though it.
They are those that love you in spite of and because of
They jump at the opportunity to help you
They have tell you like it is and what it was
They understand you even when you don't understand yourself
They can usually talk you down from the edge
Their judgment is usually clear of motives
It speaks more of their concern and dedication to you and your success
Their criticism is a chance to make you a better version of yourself
They are some of your biggest cheerleaders in the game of life
They live by the creed that they are their brother's keeper
They stump out your insecurities by reminding you how awesome you are
They embrace your craziness because its what drew you together in the first place
They blur the lines and barriers that are used to define them
They are the ones that surround you with love
They are the ones they respect you and what you stand for
They not only respect who you are, but who you are becoming
As you evolve, so do they
They are the ones that you find comfort in
They are the ones you seek solace in
They are the ones teach you how to love
They are the gifts in life that continuously keep giving
And they do all this not because of what you can do for them
But in return for what you have done for them
It's the ultimate gift that keeps on giving
If you haven't found yours by now...sorry for ya. But mine are the best!
(this isn't a poem...I just felt like writing like this...)
They've seen you at best, and stood tall beside you.
They've seen you at your worst and loved you though it.
They are those that love you in spite of and because of
They jump at the opportunity to help you
They have tell you like it is and what it was
They understand you even when you don't understand yourself
They can usually talk you down from the edge
Their judgment is usually clear of motives
It speaks more of their concern and dedication to you and your success
Their criticism is a chance to make you a better version of yourself
They are some of your biggest cheerleaders in the game of life
They live by the creed that they are their brother's keeper
They stump out your insecurities by reminding you how awesome you are
They embrace your craziness because its what drew you together in the first place
They blur the lines and barriers that are used to define them
They are the ones that surround you with love
They are the ones they respect you and what you stand for
They not only respect who you are, but who you are becoming
As you evolve, so do they
They are the ones that you find comfort in
They are the ones you seek solace in
They are the ones teach you how to love
They are the gifts in life that continuously keep giving
And they do all this not because of what you can do for them
But in return for what you have done for them
It's the ultimate gift that keeps on giving
If you haven't found yours by now...sorry for ya. But mine are the best!
(this isn't a poem...I just felt like writing like this...)
Thursday, September 06, 2012
The Journey to Success Part 4
My first job out of college was a challenge because I didn’t really know what to expect. And what I expected and what actually happened were so vastly different that it frustrated me to no end. I spent most of my days doing ABSOLUTELY nothing. I went to work and warmed a seat. Here I was fresh out of college ready to be awesome and as useless as a mechanical pencil without lead (well I found it funny…and the best useless thing I could come up with). The thing is I knew this where God wanted me to be because he worked it out for me. I was about to graduate no idea what I was going to do. He swooped in just in time.
Eventually I found my niche at the company, and really started to LOVE my job. I felt comfortable (maybe that’s the key) and was on the track to be awesome. But somehow in God’s wonderful plan for my life I relocated and had to start a new job at a new company in a new city. So here I am over six years later, another degree and more letters behind my name, and again feeling useless. I will not bore you with the trivial details of why and how much I dislike where I work and some of the people I work with.
While I am actively looking for a new job, I am trying to make the most out of my experience here (pray church!!). I know God is able, he got me this job. Although I am ashamed to say I doubted him (smh). I am trusting him because He has turned some sucky situations into great experiences. Not sure if that will be my story in the end, but we’ll see. In my journey to contentment I am trying to totally trust God and seek out his lessons prayfully. I have prayed more at work than ever…growth (I mean stopped head dropped, pleading for his guidance…and PATIENCE). The one thing I do notice that is different than six years ago my mentally attitude. I don’t feel stuck (permanently) as I used to feel. This is only a temporary stop on my success train.
Eventually I found my niche at the company, and really started to LOVE my job. I felt comfortable (maybe that’s the key) and was on the track to be awesome. But somehow in God’s wonderful plan for my life I relocated and had to start a new job at a new company in a new city. So here I am over six years later, another degree and more letters behind my name, and again feeling useless. I will not bore you with the trivial details of why and how much I dislike where I work and some of the people I work with.
While I am actively looking for a new job, I am trying to make the most out of my experience here (pray church!!). I know God is able, he got me this job. Although I am ashamed to say I doubted him (smh). I am trusting him because He has turned some sucky situations into great experiences. Not sure if that will be my story in the end, but we’ll see. In my journey to contentment I am trying to totally trust God and seek out his lessons prayfully. I have prayed more at work than ever…growth (I mean stopped head dropped, pleading for his guidance…and PATIENCE). The one thing I do notice that is different than six years ago my mentally attitude. I don’t feel stuck (permanently) as I used to feel. This is only a temporary stop on my success train.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
It's July!!
To say it's been a while is an understatement!!!! What have I been up to...the grind of life. Working...pausing (Sabbath)...working. My job got off to a good start, there have been some bumps in the road, but I’ll write later about that. In other news everything is trucking along here in the Big Apple. Some days I am amazed that I made such a big move. There are things I like and things I would do without. There are also some things I miss about Huntsville (I know…this is growth).
I love the fresh fruit, and other basic things, on the side of the road for basically pennies (4 bananas for a $1…yes, please). I like the transit system, it’s cheap and fairly efficient (no air in the subway though, that’s no good). It’s hard to believe that I can go wherever I want in the city on my metrocard for $104 a month. I used to use that in two weeks driving around (my budget is impressed). I love the abundance of culture. Unlike in the south when you are simply white or black or at times Mexican (no not even Hispanic). Here you are a Southern Indian, Ethiopian, European, Puerto Rican, Dominican, the possibilities are endless. So for someone like me who is a Black (although I’ve been asked because of my hair and complexion if I am something other than “black”), Seventh-day Adventist, pescotarian I feel close to normal. There is always something for me to eat, people are tolerant of my sunset Friday to sunset Saturday beliefs. There is always something to see and things to do. I saw my first Broadway show two months after I got here. It was called a Streetcar Named Desire starring Blair Underwood, Nicole Ari Parker, Daphne Rubin-Vega and Wood Harris. It was good and the acting was great. Honestly, I didn’t think Nicole had it in her. While I was there I saw Jasmine Guy (Whitley from A Different World and Boris Kodjoe, Nicole’s Boo and actor) And I can’t forget to mention the zillions of restaurants.
However as the facts of life teach us you must take the good with the bad. I could do without the New York “lifestyle.” The cost of living here is crazy and it seems everyone is always trying to keep up with one another. I mean seriously a 800sq ft apartment for over $5000. -_- Ridiculous. I miss my house… The small portions at expensive restaurants, I am not amused. The New York attitude that is ever present most everywhere you go. I’d never thought I long for the random grocery store conversation in the line. I miss driving a little, something about turning the music up while I cruise along. It’s nice to have someone drive for you, and occasionally folks will feel obliged to share their music with you and those on the subway car, but sometimes it gets old. The amount of weird people roaming the streets, I feel like they got all the weird people they could find and just dropped them in New York (a big sarcastic Thanks). The amount of homeless/underprivileged people. It breaks my heart every time I walk into a subway, turn the corner, walk down the street. The poverty here is overwhelming, I feel quite powerless. One day if I get the chance I want to do my best to create a permanent change until then a $1 or two here or there always helps I guess.
I know leaving Huntsville in February I was leaving behind something the familiar and that by itself is something I’d knew I’d eventually miss. I miss being in town when people decided to stop by, living here visits have to be intentional (and so far we’d had two guests). I miss my job and my coworkers. I didn’t realize how much I liked it until it was almost time to leave (and the benefits I would be leaving). I miss church. So to be completely honest, I haven’t been going as regularly as I did in Huntsville. Before you judge…I still honor the Sabbath…ok now you can go ahead. I just haven’t found a good church to attend. The black churches seem to be looooong (get home at 4 PM long…I’m not about that life) and most have been lacking in the area of hospitality (instead of inviting me to the foot washing service, I was asked to watch some ladies’ purses). The mixed churches are missing the passion I find refreshing in the music and the sermon usually (the music is dry and the sermons are boring). So I’m in a rut when it comes to going to church. I still go, but I feel no need to sit in the pew continually as a mere insurance measure that I’ll make it into the kingdom. Last time I checked it doesn’t work that way anyhow; so the jury is still out on the church thing, but God knows and will provide.
Overall I think New York like most things in life is about growth and improvement. It’s about allowing God to lead and going where He wants me (us) to be. I would have never picked this place and, honestly, I am glad I didn’t. God led us here and is blessing us here, so here is where I’ll be at least until my next divine appointment.
I love the fresh fruit, and other basic things, on the side of the road for basically pennies (4 bananas for a $1…yes, please). I like the transit system, it’s cheap and fairly efficient (no air in the subway though, that’s no good). It’s hard to believe that I can go wherever I want in the city on my metrocard for $104 a month. I used to use that in two weeks driving around (my budget is impressed). I love the abundance of culture. Unlike in the south when you are simply white or black or at times Mexican (no not even Hispanic). Here you are a Southern Indian, Ethiopian, European, Puerto Rican, Dominican, the possibilities are endless. So for someone like me who is a Black (although I’ve been asked because of my hair and complexion if I am something other than “black”), Seventh-day Adventist, pescotarian I feel close to normal. There is always something for me to eat, people are tolerant of my sunset Friday to sunset Saturday beliefs. There is always something to see and things to do. I saw my first Broadway show two months after I got here. It was called a Streetcar Named Desire starring Blair Underwood, Nicole Ari Parker, Daphne Rubin-Vega and Wood Harris. It was good and the acting was great. Honestly, I didn’t think Nicole had it in her. While I was there I saw Jasmine Guy (Whitley from A Different World and Boris Kodjoe, Nicole’s Boo and actor) And I can’t forget to mention the zillions of restaurants.
However as the facts of life teach us you must take the good with the bad. I could do without the New York “lifestyle.” The cost of living here is crazy and it seems everyone is always trying to keep up with one another. I mean seriously a 800sq ft apartment for over $5000. -_- Ridiculous. I miss my house… The small portions at expensive restaurants, I am not amused. The New York attitude that is ever present most everywhere you go. I’d never thought I long for the random grocery store conversation in the line. I miss driving a little, something about turning the music up while I cruise along. It’s nice to have someone drive for you, and occasionally folks will feel obliged to share their music with you and those on the subway car, but sometimes it gets old. The amount of weird people roaming the streets, I feel like they got all the weird people they could find and just dropped them in New York (a big sarcastic Thanks). The amount of homeless/underprivileged people. It breaks my heart every time I walk into a subway, turn the corner, walk down the street. The poverty here is overwhelming, I feel quite powerless. One day if I get the chance I want to do my best to create a permanent change until then a $1 or two here or there always helps I guess.
I know leaving Huntsville in February I was leaving behind something the familiar and that by itself is something I’d knew I’d eventually miss. I miss being in town when people decided to stop by, living here visits have to be intentional (and so far we’d had two guests). I miss my job and my coworkers. I didn’t realize how much I liked it until it was almost time to leave (and the benefits I would be leaving). I miss church. So to be completely honest, I haven’t been going as regularly as I did in Huntsville. Before you judge…I still honor the Sabbath…ok now you can go ahead. I just haven’t found a good church to attend. The black churches seem to be looooong (get home at 4 PM long…I’m not about that life) and most have been lacking in the area of hospitality (instead of inviting me to the foot washing service, I was asked to watch some ladies’ purses). The mixed churches are missing the passion I find refreshing in the music and the sermon usually (the music is dry and the sermons are boring). So I’m in a rut when it comes to going to church. I still go, but I feel no need to sit in the pew continually as a mere insurance measure that I’ll make it into the kingdom. Last time I checked it doesn’t work that way anyhow; so the jury is still out on the church thing, but God knows and will provide.
Overall I think New York like most things in life is about growth and improvement. It’s about allowing God to lead and going where He wants me (us) to be. I would have never picked this place and, honestly, I am glad I didn’t. God led us here and is blessing us here, so here is where I’ll be at least until my next divine appointment.
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Udpate
I got a job (God is super-de-duper awesome), actually I’m on week four of my new job (yeah it’s been that long). It’s cool, I glad that the Lord worked it out. And he didn’t make me choose cause I never heard from the other company. So now I getting used to being a “New Yorker,” rushing to get to the train, being packed in like a sardine, needing to carry cash around, and so on. I will admit though I haven’t exactly found my place here yet. I’m searching for some sort of familiarity that makes being here more comfortable. But like most places that comes with time. I felt like I would find that in a church setting, but I’ve been unable to find a church I like…until this past Sabbath. I went the friendliest church I’ve ever been to in life (I have also been to the most unfriendliest (this is not word) church I’ve ever been to in my life while being here in New York). I think I might have found a place to go, but time will tell.
In other news my birthday is Friday, that is all. I feel extremely indifferent about it, I'm not excited or sad. I'm just grateful to have made it to another year. I'm probably more indifferent becuase I'll be working I haven't done that in my birthday in years. But it's a friday, so I'll probably leave early. *shrug*
In other news my birthday is Friday, that is all. I feel extremely indifferent about it, I'm not excited or sad. I'm just grateful to have made it to another year. I'm probably more indifferent becuase I'll be working I haven't done that in my birthday in years. But it's a friday, so I'll probably leave early. *shrug*
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The Blessings Continue...
Soo in the post below I explained how the Lord work my move out. But that's not where it ends.
My husband moved two months before I did. And I stayed in Huntsville. I didn't know how long it would be before I could move, so I drew a line in the sand. I'm learning to step out when God tells me to step out. It's terrifying, it's the culmination of facing the unknown and perhaps failing.
My biggest fear of moving early was not having the money to do so. While I'm not opposed to be a kept housewife, I had to ask myself is that a financially sound decision? And if the answer is no, there was no way I could move. But I didn't want to be left in Huntsville either. In a way I felt like I had been left out on God's blessing. But Aunt Renee reminded me that God doesn't bless only one party in the marriage. We are a team and God made us that way and he wouldn't do that to us.
I drew a line in the sand, and stepped out on a faith cloud. All I asked is the the Lord support my weight. Not only is he supporting my weight, he is carrying me.
I have been applying for jobs since December. It wasn't until last week I actually got a call to come into for an interview. It had to be one of the worst interviews I had ever had. It was a accounting temp agency. In short the interviewer left a bad taste in my mouth. She didn't ask any relevant questions. And she scoff at my salary request (they add an additional fee on top of your salary request, so if you ask for too much it doesn't benefit them as much...cause a company is going to cap the salary request at a certain point). In all fairness, I think the Lord had sent me a sign to not go to the interview, but I felt like maybe it would help me for future interviews.
My next interview was better. I left the interview feeling confident that I could do the job and it would be a perfect fit for me. But the interviewee told me he wasn't aware when they would be able to hire me. :-/ Um sir, I'm unemployed I need a job sooner rather than later. So that was a bummer, and left me feeling a bit discontent.
No sooner had I left I got call from someone else wanted to interview me later that week. That interview went well also, almost better than the first one because the lady said she was interested in me, and she wanted to make a decision by the next week, which worked well with my open schedule.
No sooner had I finished that interview the first company was calling me back for a second interview. The second interview was good. And this time I was told the position would start ASAP. I left there feeling confident that I would receive an offer letter.
But no sooner than I rested in the idea that I would be working for the first company, the second company called for a second interview. Which will take place on Monday.
I'm TERRIFIED that I will get both jobs and have to choose (but I God's got this!). Both I think are great opportunities at great companies with good benefits that have the potential to offer me the salary I requested (in your face temp agency lady...guess you don't know MY GOD). I don't think I can express HOW GREAT GOD IS!!! *praise break* I don't know what this week holds, but I'm thanking God in advance for his continuous blessings and daily grace and mercy.
My husband moved two months before I did. And I stayed in Huntsville. I didn't know how long it would be before I could move, so I drew a line in the sand. I'm learning to step out when God tells me to step out. It's terrifying, it's the culmination of facing the unknown and perhaps failing.
My biggest fear of moving early was not having the money to do so. While I'm not opposed to be a kept housewife, I had to ask myself is that a financially sound decision? And if the answer is no, there was no way I could move. But I didn't want to be left in Huntsville either. In a way I felt like I had been left out on God's blessing. But Aunt Renee reminded me that God doesn't bless only one party in the marriage. We are a team and God made us that way and he wouldn't do that to us.
I drew a line in the sand, and stepped out on a faith cloud. All I asked is the the Lord support my weight. Not only is he supporting my weight, he is carrying me.
I have been applying for jobs since December. It wasn't until last week I actually got a call to come into for an interview. It had to be one of the worst interviews I had ever had. It was a accounting temp agency. In short the interviewer left a bad taste in my mouth. She didn't ask any relevant questions. And she scoff at my salary request (they add an additional fee on top of your salary request, so if you ask for too much it doesn't benefit them as much...cause a company is going to cap the salary request at a certain point). In all fairness, I think the Lord had sent me a sign to not go to the interview, but I felt like maybe it would help me for future interviews.
My next interview was better. I left the interview feeling confident that I could do the job and it would be a perfect fit for me. But the interviewee told me he wasn't aware when they would be able to hire me. :-/ Um sir, I'm unemployed I need a job sooner rather than later. So that was a bummer, and left me feeling a bit discontent.
No sooner had I left I got call from someone else wanted to interview me later that week. That interview went well also, almost better than the first one because the lady said she was interested in me, and she wanted to make a decision by the next week, which worked well with my open schedule.
No sooner had I finished that interview the first company was calling me back for a second interview. The second interview was good. And this time I was told the position would start ASAP. I left there feeling confident that I would receive an offer letter.
But no sooner than I rested in the idea that I would be working for the first company, the second company called for a second interview. Which will take place on Monday.
I'm TERRIFIED that I will get both jobs and have to choose (but I God's got this!). Both I think are great opportunities at great companies with good benefits that have the potential to offer me the salary I requested (in your face temp agency lady...guess you don't know MY GOD). I don't think I can express HOW GREAT GOD IS!!! *praise break* I don't know what this week holds, but I'm thanking God in advance for his continuous blessings and daily grace and mercy.
Testimony Time: Nothing comes from Nothing
So it has been forever! So I guess there is no time like the present to fill the gaps in.
It's been a busy few months, as you can tell...and I doubt things will slow down anytime soon.
I believe that life is full of testimonies, some big some small. However, it's not always about the size as it is about the impact. I sincerely believe my testimony has been in making for the past two and half years. I'm sure there is more, God is sooo great there is always more. So in essence a testimony is never finished, it almost builds on top of the other testimonies you have.
So my testimony starts about a year and a half after I got married. I had been living in Huntsville for about 3 years then after graduating. And quite frankly Huntsville was getting quite old. For starters all of my close friends had moved away, I hated my job, and so on and so far. I also was in serious odds about my self image (which is still a continuous process). Basically I felt trapped and I felt that my growth was being stunted being in Huntsville. I whined and cried to God about it to no avail. I felt like I was missing out on so many things. I felt like I had made some decisions to end up where I was in life. I just felt tired of being me (I documented some of this way back when feel free to check it out).
So what was my solution to get out of this funk. Employ the philosophy I try to live by on a daily basis it's similar to tests and trials come to make you strong. I like to put a spend on it like this, God is always trying to teach you a lesson just like He did with the disciples. He tried His best while He was here to show object lessons in all that he could. So I try to employ that philosophy. Basic get the lesson and move along.
So back to the testimony...I was in my slump waiting for the Lord to help a sister out. I didn't care how I just wanted it done and done quickly. Finally like a child who feels there requests are going unnoticed I started to act out. Suddenly, after what seemed like months of darkness, I asked the one question that help me pull myself up by my bootstraps. What can I do?
All this time I expected God to perform some miracle and make my life better. I expected him to wave some magically wand and make it all better. But what had I done to change my circumstances, what had I done to make things better? Nothing. Rarely do things happened when nothing is done...nothing comes from nothing.
So in an effort to change things I started with the one thing I felt I had control over. I joined a gym. I started working out like a maniac. It eventually paid off, I lost over 40 pounds. And although my goal was to lose 60 (and in a dream I would have loved to lose 80). One thing that helped while working out was positive thinking. Your body tends to tense up when you stress, stress can literally hold on to pounds for you. So on an effort to not to reverse my progress I tried to release all the unnecessary stress I could. And I started with my biggest stressor, work.
I decided on a career path, for some reason I think I had stalled because it felt so permanent. I had been waiting for some grand opportunity to come along and make up my mind for me. But finally I made a decision and it was like all the chips fell in place.
The last area I had to tackle was my relationships. I started with the first and most important one, God. For a while I felt like we were at a stand still and now I realize I was the only one standing still. And I went down the list after that. For a long time I felt like people had abandoned me when I needed them the most. I had written people off, and didn't really feel like being bothered. But good friends know when you need a friend and that's when they stick around. When they are no longer benefited by being your friend, but when you are benefited by being their friend.
As I made this little changes, taking baby steps life seemed to get exponentially better. I changed my attitude and my attitude increased. And last year again for the 3948th time I asked the Lord with more clarity and more understanding to move us from Huntsville. And that it seemed no sooner than I had risen from knees my husband got a new job. And God showed out!!
So we were finally moving...YAY, all is right with the world right? Not quite. So many questions swirled around in my mind: Where was I going to work? What are we going to do with the house? Where are we going to live? As quickly as I thanked God for my blessing I felt overwhelmed by what ifs. And after finally accepting life as it was, and actually enjoying it, it was changing.
But this time it was easier to pull myself out of my funk because I had seen God work on my behalf. And now I wait for what God has called me to do because until you do something nothing comes from nothing.
It's been a busy few months, as you can tell...and I doubt things will slow down anytime soon.
I believe that life is full of testimonies, some big some small. However, it's not always about the size as it is about the impact. I sincerely believe my testimony has been in making for the past two and half years. I'm sure there is more, God is sooo great there is always more. So in essence a testimony is never finished, it almost builds on top of the other testimonies you have.
So my testimony starts about a year and a half after I got married. I had been living in Huntsville for about 3 years then after graduating. And quite frankly Huntsville was getting quite old. For starters all of my close friends had moved away, I hated my job, and so on and so far. I also was in serious odds about my self image (which is still a continuous process). Basically I felt trapped and I felt that my growth was being stunted being in Huntsville. I whined and cried to God about it to no avail. I felt like I was missing out on so many things. I felt like I had made some decisions to end up where I was in life. I just felt tired of being me (I documented some of this way back when feel free to check it out).
So what was my solution to get out of this funk. Employ the philosophy I try to live by on a daily basis it's similar to tests and trials come to make you strong. I like to put a spend on it like this, God is always trying to teach you a lesson just like He did with the disciples. He tried His best while He was here to show object lessons in all that he could. So I try to employ that philosophy. Basic get the lesson and move along.
So back to the testimony...I was in my slump waiting for the Lord to help a sister out. I didn't care how I just wanted it done and done quickly. Finally like a child who feels there requests are going unnoticed I started to act out. Suddenly, after what seemed like months of darkness, I asked the one question that help me pull myself up by my bootstraps. What can I do?
All this time I expected God to perform some miracle and make my life better. I expected him to wave some magically wand and make it all better. But what had I done to change my circumstances, what had I done to make things better? Nothing. Rarely do things happened when nothing is done...nothing comes from nothing.
So in an effort to change things I started with the one thing I felt I had control over. I joined a gym. I started working out like a maniac. It eventually paid off, I lost over 40 pounds. And although my goal was to lose 60 (and in a dream I would have loved to lose 80). One thing that helped while working out was positive thinking. Your body tends to tense up when you stress, stress can literally hold on to pounds for you. So on an effort to not to reverse my progress I tried to release all the unnecessary stress I could. And I started with my biggest stressor, work.
I decided on a career path, for some reason I think I had stalled because it felt so permanent. I had been waiting for some grand opportunity to come along and make up my mind for me. But finally I made a decision and it was like all the chips fell in place.
The last area I had to tackle was my relationships. I started with the first and most important one, God. For a while I felt like we were at a stand still and now I realize I was the only one standing still. And I went down the list after that. For a long time I felt like people had abandoned me when I needed them the most. I had written people off, and didn't really feel like being bothered. But good friends know when you need a friend and that's when they stick around. When they are no longer benefited by being your friend, but when you are benefited by being their friend.
As I made this little changes, taking baby steps life seemed to get exponentially better. I changed my attitude and my attitude increased. And last year again for the 3948th time I asked the Lord with more clarity and more understanding to move us from Huntsville. And that it seemed no sooner than I had risen from knees my husband got a new job. And God showed out!!
So we were finally moving...YAY, all is right with the world right? Not quite. So many questions swirled around in my mind: Where was I going to work? What are we going to do with the house? Where are we going to live? As quickly as I thanked God for my blessing I felt overwhelmed by what ifs. And after finally accepting life as it was, and actually enjoying it, it was changing.
But this time it was easier to pull myself out of my funk because I had seen God work on my behalf. And now I wait for what God has called me to do because until you do something nothing comes from nothing.
Thursday, January 05, 2012
So.....
I've been meaning to write...I mean really I have. So much is going on though.
I got a new position at work, that is working me like crazy. It was definitely a good change, my boss' suggestion so kudos to him.
I'm moving to New York. Matt got a new job, and so we're off. Well at least he is off. I'm still chilling in the city of mediocrity (lol!).
I plan on leaving by the first week in February. *shrug*
It's crazy cause I know if this would have happened this time last year or the year before last, I would have not been ready. It's amazing that God knows you what you need and when.
Please pray for our house to sell and me to find a job!!
And I'm out...
I got a new position at work, that is working me like crazy. It was definitely a good change, my boss' suggestion so kudos to him.
I'm moving to New York. Matt got a new job, and so we're off. Well at least he is off. I'm still chilling in the city of mediocrity (lol!).
I plan on leaving by the first week in February. *shrug*
It's crazy cause I know if this would have happened this time last year or the year before last, I would have not been ready. It's amazing that God knows you what you need and when.
Please pray for our house to sell and me to find a job!!
And I'm out...
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