Me, myself and I - Birthday Blues

My first post in April will be about Me cause this is my month (and this is my blog)! :)

So first and foremost...I had a GREAT weekend. Haven't had one in a long time I needed it. Friends, family, good food, fun and great conversations, what more could a girl ask for?! I thought the social atmosphere would be too much for me to handle this weekend, but I think it was just what the doctor ordered.




On to the next subject: I've been avoiding writing this, hoping that my general emotion would blow over, so maybe after I get it off my chest I'll feel better.

So in 2 weeks I'll be 25...I am excited about reaching this milestone. I will no longer have to pay that stupid young driver insurance for rental cars, my general insurance goes down, and that's pretty much it other than I am offically starting my countdown (or count up...) to 30.

I love birthdays always have...I ALWAYS had birthday parties when I was younger, never was my birthday skipped or overlooked or passed up as if it was not important. However as I got older somehow that started to change...and now I am slightly cynical toward birthdays. I've spent birthdays in my dorm alone with takeout, out with a bunch of randoms cause my 'friends' had better things to do, and I have cried on my birthday for the past 5 years...so needless to say I am extremely nervous about the upcoming birthday. So much so that all I want to do is be alone to avoid disappointment. I know it sounds super crazy, but it's really how I feel. Maybe as the time gets closer I start to feel more enlightened, but I doubt it...I know others shouldn't dictate how my birthday goes, and from now on they won't, but that still doesn't change my mind or attitude.

Searching for contentment at 25....