Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Resisting the urge to cry...again
Right now I am truly resisting the urge to cry...again. Yes I have already done that once this week, twice would be just asking for trouble. The thing is right now I feel so useless. I feel very dependent upon people. I feel almost handicapped (which would give me a good reason to be dependent upon them in the first place). I am use to doing everything by myself yet lately it seems like I can not do anything by myself. I am used to be the helper and the helpee. This has truly been an humbling experience. I feel so helpless... I guess this is God's way of trying to get my attention. I know he wants me to surrender to Him. So, why is this so hard? He has never failed me so I guess I show look at His track record and fear no more. I know He's got to be up to something because clearly I'm down to nothing. So for now I successfully resisted...but what next?
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1 comment:
well...i'm sure u dont wanna cry anymore....
but i just wanted to say that maybe this is God's way of letting you kno that u just might have to depend on Him...FULLY and COMPLETELY.
think about it.....what if u were married and u and ur husband lived all the way in Calcutta (lol)...and you lost ur job so u couldn't pay bills...basically u were TAPPED OUT!!! u had nothing! the ONLY person u had left to depend on was ur husband....would u be comfortable leaving it all up to him???
right now...maybe not, but in the future u'd have to deal with it...TOGETHER.
this just maybe a lesson that it helping u down the line in the near future.....hold on to it.
ps...
its ok to cry....u ALWAYS feel better afterwards!!! and call me....we'll cry together!!
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