Thursday, July 25, 2013
My Faith Journey
The ultimate faith journey has started, not sure if I'm ready, but this was what prayed for. God is good, even when I doubt His goodness. He hasn't failed me yet.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
On the Real
I've been wanting to
blog for a while now, even had titles and everything. And now that I have the
time, I am drawing a blank. So I guess I do what I always do when I am in this
predicament...ramble. First, let me say I did honestly I expect to reveal something
really big (see previous post), but it's not the time. And at this rate I don't
know when it will be a good time, but when it is, you’ll be almost first to
know.
In my post last year on April 16 "The Update" I noted how I was looking for some sort of familiarity that makes being here (New York) more comfortable. And in my July 12th post I weighed in about the good and bad of moving to New York. Well this weekend that all seem to be brought into perspective after a cabin trip on the lake with some ladies from my church. Initially I declined going because of an impending trip of my aunt's to NYC. After agonizing (I'm sure to Matt's discontent) over it I decided to go. I was anxious about going because I didn't want to be a bad niece, I didn't want to leave Matt alone to host, and quite frankly, I didn't know who was going on the camping trip, so it could have been a disaster. My aunt decided not to come at the last minute (yes I was still agonizing over this even after she told me it was ok if I went), and I truly enjoyed the company.
We had fun eating, cooking, hiking, swimming, shopping and talking. I miss having friends to get together with and do nothing, but have fun being together. I told them that I don't like making new friends (which is a common theme throughout this blog starting after I graduated college). I hate the pomp and circumstance of it all, I hate the feeling of trying to get them up-to-date with my life and personality, I hate the awkward in-between phases, it's like dating without the 3 F's free dinner, flowers, and flirting. But I have to say I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with this ladies, it was easy. Didn’t feel forced, there was a calmness about the experience. There's a little piece of me that says eventually it'll get harder, but I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And for the record hard is not always bad if the person is worth it, hence my approaching five year anniversary (Hey boo!).
There was also some God and Jailyn time (these are usually lessons I need to get). Something told me to get gas before I left, but in my haste and overenthusiasm to get there I didn't stop, plus I took a bunch of little back roads with no gas stations. So by the time I got there I was near E, but I got to the cabin and no one was there and I had no signal. So I drove to the nearest town to get gas, they only had regular (Audi's need Super or Premium), just my luck and the nearest station with super or premium 12 miles away O_o...and still no signal. So I got a little annoyed and upset (I'm seriously working on this I'll explain my progress later). At first I was upset as I drove to get gas there, constantly checking for cell service. Finally made it 15 m ins later to the gas station, after filling my tank, my cell service was restored, just in time. And after I called to get directions, just like that service was gone again. Won't He do it?! But only after you heed his warning, if I would have not gone the distance, who knows where I would have gotten stranded. If I had been able to call I would have never gone to the gas station, and even though the Lord might have been merciful and gotten to the nearest gas station before I ran out of gas, I’m glad he chose this way instead. Even when I don't understand He continues to provide His assistance which never fails to amaze me.
In my post last year on April 16 "The Update" I noted how I was looking for some sort of familiarity that makes being here (New York) more comfortable. And in my July 12th post I weighed in about the good and bad of moving to New York. Well this weekend that all seem to be brought into perspective after a cabin trip on the lake with some ladies from my church. Initially I declined going because of an impending trip of my aunt's to NYC. After agonizing (I'm sure to Matt's discontent) over it I decided to go. I was anxious about going because I didn't want to be a bad niece, I didn't want to leave Matt alone to host, and quite frankly, I didn't know who was going on the camping trip, so it could have been a disaster. My aunt decided not to come at the last minute (yes I was still agonizing over this even after she told me it was ok if I went), and I truly enjoyed the company.
We had fun eating, cooking, hiking, swimming, shopping and talking. I miss having friends to get together with and do nothing, but have fun being together. I told them that I don't like making new friends (which is a common theme throughout this blog starting after I graduated college). I hate the pomp and circumstance of it all, I hate the feeling of trying to get them up-to-date with my life and personality, I hate the awkward in-between phases, it's like dating without the 3 F's free dinner, flowers, and flirting. But I have to say I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with this ladies, it was easy. Didn’t feel forced, there was a calmness about the experience. There's a little piece of me that says eventually it'll get harder, but I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And for the record hard is not always bad if the person is worth it, hence my approaching five year anniversary (Hey boo!).
There was also some God and Jailyn time (these are usually lessons I need to get). Something told me to get gas before I left, but in my haste and overenthusiasm to get there I didn't stop, plus I took a bunch of little back roads with no gas stations. So by the time I got there I was near E, but I got to the cabin and no one was there and I had no signal. So I drove to the nearest town to get gas, they only had regular (Audi's need Super or Premium), just my luck and the nearest station with super or premium 12 miles away O_o...and still no signal. So I got a little annoyed and upset (I'm seriously working on this I'll explain my progress later). At first I was upset as I drove to get gas there, constantly checking for cell service. Finally made it 15 m ins later to the gas station, after filling my tank, my cell service was restored, just in time. And after I called to get directions, just like that service was gone again. Won't He do it?! But only after you heed his warning, if I would have not gone the distance, who knows where I would have gotten stranded. If I had been able to call I would have never gone to the gas station, and even though the Lord might have been merciful and gotten to the nearest gas station before I ran out of gas, I’m glad he chose this way instead. Even when I don't understand He continues to provide His assistance which never fails to amaze me.
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