Why Me?

To many times I have asked myself why me. And maybe at the time it seemed justified but lately I have realized maybe I should be asking why not me. Or am I so ahead of the game I don't need the lessons that trails and tribulations bring? I mean am I to good to endure all the things others go through. It seems the more I endure the better I am when it comes to helping others in similar situations. So why not me? Some of the very the things that I thought I would never make it through have made me glad it was me. I am a stronger and better person because of it. I know it doesn't seem like anything good will come out of certain situations but you just have to search for the lesson. If it seems hard to find it at first don't worry soon it will appear and you'll be glad you made it through.

Blessings for the Week (Glad it was Me):
*found my cell phone :) :)
*bridled my tongue :) :) :)
*got my SLUSHIE! :) :) :) :)

My Theme Song

I have always had sort of a theme song for my life at certain times. And the one that I have chosen now is New Attitude by Patti LaBelle. It describes, well, my attitude.

I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view I got a new attitude Runnin' hot, runnin' cold
I was runnin' into overload It was extreme, ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-extreme
It took it so high, so low So low, there was nowhere to go Like a dream
Somehow the wires uncrossed, the tables were turned
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn
I'm in control, my worries are few 'Cause I've got love like I never knew Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
I got a new attitude I'm wearing a new dress (New), new hair (New)Brand new ideas, as a matter of fact I've changed for good It must have been the cool night, new moon, new slight change???More than to figure??? but I feel like I should, yes
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oohI got a new attitude Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Okay well you get the point. I have to change my attitude as time changes. Adaptation. (Another song that also describes my current state is Video by India.arie). ;-)

Taking Steps, Making Strides

In my World Literature class we always start off class with a devotion. Well devotion today was about taking steps in life. The devotion stated that a small step for one person might be a bigger step for someone else. So this got me to thinking about the steps, and strides, I am making in my life.
I took a step out on faith late last school year and rekindled some old friendships. To someone this might have not been that deep but to me it was. I place a high value on friendships. And I hate to be betrayed to let down by my "friends." I don't just call anyone my friend. So the fact that we "had been" friends and some how had fallen off; now were friends again, that is a big step to me (and vice versa :D).
Then at the beginning of the summer I started an internship. My first "real" job, which consumed most my time this summer. Once again a big step for me maybe not for someone else but you get the idea. I suddenly was required to pay for everything I wanted and needed. This was a very unique experience that I am happy I had the privilege to engage in.
Let me not even start about the steps I have been taking since the beginning of the school year because I would we could be here for a while. Let's just say with all the strides I have been making since August alone I could be half way around the world by now. So whether your "taking steps or making strides" just make sure your moving. Peace and love. ;-)

The Value of Friendship

How much does friendship cost? If you could put a value on friendship what would it be? To me friendship is way beyond bargaining. Friendships should be like wine, they should get better with time. Friends are the people who see you at your worst and still choose to be to hang around you. When you hurt they want to ease your pain, they just call to say hi, and you can call them up for no reason and stay on the phone for hours.
Of course the same way you work at everything else you should work on your friendships. You should always be seeking to improve yourself and the friendship in anyway. There are friendships I know I couldn’t live without (well, I probably could but I wouldn’t want to). Why? Because they have had so much influence in my life; they in a way have made me who I am.
But what happens when a friendship dissipates? Should you try to rekindle the friendship you once knew? Or just let bygones be bygones? In a situation like this you should think about how important that person is to you. I know from personal experience it took to long to start some of my friendships to just let them go to waste. I had to learn to be vulnerable and I learned it the hard way. As humans we never want to be the first to admit to being wrong. But we have to look at ourselves first and assess the situation from there. You never solve anything by blaming each other. Just remember to be the friend you would want.
"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." Can we all just be friends. ;-)

One Wedding and a funeral

In less than a week I attended a wedding and a funeral. The thing that I realized at both was people's abilities to bring out the best in both situations. Of course a wedding is a seeminly joyous occasion and it is not as hard to bring out the best in that situation. At a funeral it might be a bit harder. But I have noticed that people have the abiltity to bring out the best of a person's life at his/her funeral. As I sat at this funeral on Friday and listened to all the wonderful things people said about this person I began to think, what will people say at my funeral? Better yet what are they saying now, even while I am alive? What influence have I had on people? Have I evolved over the course of my life? Have I changed for the better? Am I trying to get better by God's grace? I sure do hope so. And I hope people see it. Today someone told me that I looked happier and more content. That made me feel like all my learning this summer and earlier this school year was not in vain. And I hope to continue to grow and become the person the Lord will have me to be. ;-)

Broken Scale

How do you weigh out the balance of life on a broken scale?

I was once told a story about a lady who had no food for her or her family to eat and only $20. She was a Christian and decided to step out on faith and go to the grocery store to see if she could all the food she needed for just $20. She gathered all she needed and prceded to the line. When she reached the front she started to put all her food items on the scale. The scale started to increase, strangely enough with all the lady's food items the scale never passed $20. She quickly paid and left thanking the Lord for the blessing He had given her. The clerk at the grocery store later found out that the scale was broken.

Had this lady not stepped out on faith she would have never recieved her blessing. The next time you decide to start weighing out life make sure that your scale is not broken. ;-)

Life Lesson #156322

Marriage or the thought of it used to never bother me, until I realized how quickly the years are passing by. I guess I have always thought of it in the back of my mind. But never has it been this close. I attended a wedding yesterday and the guy who got married is 2 years older than me. Two years when you think about it that is not a very long time.
Of course, I don't want to rush into anything just because I feel like I am trying to beat the clock. I stopped trying to figure out a while ago why the Lord hasn't blessed me with the "man of my dreams" and decided to just be patient. But ever so often my patience wears off. Maybe he is around me, the thought that scares me the most is that he could be right under my nose and I am just overlooking him (vice versa).
I guess it goes a little like this: "At 16 it was easy to decide who I would marry. At 17 it was easy to decide who I definitely wouldn’t marry. At 18 was easy to decide that I just wouldn’t get married. At 19 was easy to decide to reverse my former decision. At 20 I have decided that I am not at liberty to make any kind of marriage decisions."
Patience is a virtue and I am a virtuous woman. So while the Lord works on me and the "man of my dreams." I just continue to wait. Wait for what? Wait for the man who gives me butterflies when his name just shows up on my caller id. The man whose smile seems like it's just for me. The man whom I accept with his flaws and still want to be with him (vice versa). The man whose touch can melt away all my anger or hurt (even if he was the one who imposed it on me in the first place). The man who realizes what he has found is a rare gift from God and will take advantage of it the moment he gets a chance (vice versa). That is the man I am looking for (others need not apply).

Recap

So after reading my past blog posts I am compelled to write. This summer I was so on top of my game. I was filled with such passion such emotion this summer. I knew exactly who I was and where I was going. What happened? It's like I hit school and life began to get that more complicated. Why? Because I allowed it. I stopped thinking about myself. Not to be vain but sometimes we can get so lost helping others that we forget about ourselves. So here's to me.

What keep's on popping up in my head is what am I worth? I mean not literally what am I worth but what do I have to offer as a friend or something more? More than I realize. You know it takes someone taking you for granted sometimes before you realize how much you are worth.

Think of yourself as a 10 and you'll become a ten. And most importantly be the friend you want to have.

Question to ponder: How long do you have to go in circles before you get the picture? ':-)