Thursday, November 16, 2006

What can I give?

So I haven't written in forever, why? I guess you could say that I've been busy. No really I have. I usually write when there's something heavy on my heart (and I believe this is as good a time as any). Recently I have just been feeling kind anxious about the future (among other things). Don't get me wrong there not life threatening things but... the one person I really care to share it with doesn't seem to have the time to talk to me about it. Just now sitting here writing about makes me feel a lot better. I'm trying not to be selfish (I've realized it's something I have to work on) but...I guess there is no excuse. Anyway been using some time to really think some things through. I realized what is truly important to me...caring for and helping the peopel I truly love and cherish. I know it sounds cheesy but it makes a difference.
I want vow this day to never put work or anything else before the people I love. There are times when people just want you there to listen to them, you don't have to solve their problems. They just want your attention. No one wants to be second rate your work, extracurricular activity, date, etc. People you love who want your attention usually deserve you attention (your undivided attention and perhaps at times some understanding). And your should be more than willing to abilige them, afterall what are they the most important people in your life?
Like I said I'm working on being selfish. I want to give double of what I take. Those around me, give me so much. Of course I will never be able to pay them for everything there worth but I can try with my time. These are the people I find security in, the ones I can try count on. So shouldn't they be able to find the same thing in me?
I listened to a friend the other day and even though I felt like I was as much help as the pillow sitting beside me on my bed, I was happy she felt she could confide in me. Her friendship means a lot to me and the least (very least) I could do is listen.
Ok so now that I have gotten that off my chest, I guess I'll leave you with this thought: Want to be the perfect [friend, parent, girlfriend, boyfriend, next door neighbor, uncle, aunt, cousin]? Listen, give your time, its the one thing that doesn't cost but will reap endless rewards. You'll be surprised at the difference it will make, in your life and theirs'.

2 comments:

Mel said...

that was beautiful
i think that that is the BEST gift you could give, attention and you time.
i understand your rules and your theme and, although i do feel you dont have to take it to the extent that you have, i respect them.
u also have to realize that "he" is a man and usually guys dont think like us. they have selective amnesia to anniversaries, dates, phone calls, rendezvous, gifts owed, and anything else that involves giving and making us happy...lol. the good thing about it is when they make up for it...ITS MEMORABLE (if he is the one u love and he TRULY loves you).
i love u and i see u have ur foot in the door and u REFUSE to close it without a fight...thats one thing i admire about u....u NEVER give up (even when i think u do).

thank you so much for your help. for the chats or for just listening when i sometimes was a little hesitant to talking. i may seem like i'm strong, but i'm a weakling just like EVERYBODY else. i can say that when i was going through STUFF this summer, u did listen. u didnt even judge me and that was what i needed at the time.
so, see, u've been using your theme for a long time and didnt even know it!

Thank you so much and i appreciate your friendship since Junior Year in High School...wow, 6 years! what a blessing! yes we've had our ups and downs, but its been more ups than downs and thats cool.

keep up the good work and remember...

"The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first."

so, the EARLY bird catches the worm....lol.

ゲームの皇帝 said...

welcome back Jailyn! Melanie you can't ever say I write too much! byeee