Reclaiming Contentment

Seems like every time I think I am content, I find something else to chase. Which leads me to believe that contentment if further than I realized. So what now...really I have no idea. First and foremost, I know I must accept what I am not in order to truly find out who I am...I am not the smartest, thinnest, fattest, fastest, slowest... Next, I have accept who I am to solidify what I currently possess...I am smart, funny, ambitious, a good cook, a great friend...Then, I need to combine the two realizations and create the person I want to be...although not as simple as I put it...it's definitely possible.

Contentment starts with the realization that I have to work with what I have, don't have and what I want.

Contentment is different in certain stages of life. I was very content in college when I started this blog, but it seems like now that has all changed. Everything seems so uncertain...I feel totally blessed with all the things I have, but sometimes I feel guilty because it doesn't feel like enough.

Contentment requires me to be comfortable even if those around me aren't, and to resist the temptation to allow peer pressure to keep me from what I want to do (yes, even adults can succumb to peer pressure). We all get one life and we must live it with the utmost accountability to ourselves and those around us.

Contentment is learning from my mistakes, and regretting missed opportunities, but not dwelling on them. Regret is natural and healthy...regret is a good way to learn about missed opportunities. I regret not savoring moments that defined who I am today, but it makes me more aware of future events that will have the same effect.

Contentment is ultimately being comfortable in my own skin. I am not there...not even close, but I am trying my best, and I am content with that.

Cracking Under the Pressure

I feel like I am cracking under the pressure. With one more week of school and three major projects as a matter of fact make that four major projects due...I am swamped!

And yes I can get crazy, but I am sure I am not the only one. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone..."

It's not easy and yes I can definitely do better, so hopefully that is what I will do.

Nite!

I am whatever I say I am...

Do you think you define me? I laugh at the thought that someone could think that they have that much control over me to define who or what I am. I AM WHATEVER I SAY I AM...

You know I usually HATE rap, but Eminem was on to something in his song. People will constantly try to put you into a mold. They are constantly trying to make you fit who they want you to be, and the funny thing is when you don't fit it's your fault. So be whatever you say you are...

You relinquish God's power and your power of choice when you allow those around you to define who you are or who you will become. You are whatever you say you are...no one should be able to convince you different. If one comment can destroy what you had going for you then must have not been worth much in the first place.

I will be the first to say people have said things to me that have made me uncomfortable, and made me want to look back, but in the end I decided that I have to live with the end result. So it will be my way because I AM WHATEVER I SAY I AM!

Progress...

So yesterday I turned 24!!! The day was below average, but it seemed a turning point in my life.

I realized today I am tired for apologizing for who and what I am. I know there are still a ton of things that I have to learn and I am definitely not ignorant to that. However, there are things that I am SURE of, and those things I will speak on freely. I KNOW that true friendships stand the test of time. No matter what comes...graduation...marriage...kids...life in general. They adapt because they choose to be part those moments, and those that don't choose that then that is what it is..their choice.

This is the beginning of my adult life and I choose to start it off right. I am going to try to make the best decisions possible with what I have. I am going to try to respect everyone the same, and I am going to try to be more of who I want to be. This is my choice and my choice alone. Those who can not handle can exit the stage...NOW. I love those who had taken the journey with me and those who will join later, and for those who choose to leave...it was fun while it lasted and I have no hard feelings...I understand. When it comes down to it we must all do what is best for us, and that is all anyone can ask.

So choose ye this day... jump on the bangwagon or stay off on the sidelines. It's your choice.