Bittersweet

Disclaimer: This was just something on my mind. I do not know, nor am I in any way associated with the party mentioned below. I am simply expressing my opinion based on my limited view of the mentioned party. Thanks.

Plus it’s my blog and I’ll say whatever in the heck I want….Have a nice day!



Listening to Fantasia's 'Bittersweet' …not a bad song. It has actually grown on me, much like the American Idol herself. I didn't watch the whole season of American Idol that year, but I heard a few choice songs, and the girl had some pipes. I heard her story over and over again, watched her lifetime movie…*sigh*… At that point I was more impressed with her voice. Although, I did feel like she was treated unfairly when it came to her being an unwed mother…But, hey, that's society for you, we pick and choose and judge according to our own morals and value system which is screwed anyway, so she never had a chance. I liked that she took on the challenge.

It's Fantasia seemingly down-to-earth attitude, her faith, and personality that intrigue me. Most importantly it's her willingness to show she is human and to expose her flaws (as if she has much choice with the position she is in). Her ability to stay true to herself is something that I find perplexing at time. If I was a celebrity I can imagine how hectic life would get and how at times I would just want a break from it all. I am sure that is how a lot of celebrities feel, Fantasia included. But I appreciate celebrities who can show that side, and I get that from her.

It's not Fantasia's hard luck story that makes her rise above the rest to me. I think it's her ability to make me feel like I can relate to her (even though most times I can't)…I guess I feel like she is more human than most celebrities pretend to be. Recently, she has been in the media about her affair with a married man. Is he not to blame too? Was he not involved? I love how we always go after the woman...but that is another blog. What I will say is 'we have all sinned and come short of His glory.' Fantasia is human and that does not make her any less susceptible to faults and failures. She wants to be loved and love just like the rest of us. I can bet if you think hard enough you can think of some people you know who have been in the same or a similar situation. But of course, when you are a celebrity it is magnified.

So when Fantasia For Real started I had no desire to watch, all I could think is 'oh boy another celebrity reality show…where they show us, look we're human too'... Uh..no thanks.. Then I listened to her interview she did with Oprah. I felt the sincerity that she seemed to have, and the reverence when she spoke of her faith, and I was very surprised (It's a sincerity I've only seen with 2 other celebrities I can think of). Sure celebrities get up at award shows/banquets and gush about how thankful they are and how they owe everything to God…blah…blah…blah. But how many of them acknowledge him day-to-day activities or in all or even most of the interviews they do? How many of them acknowledge His presence or grace and mercy any other time than when the spotlight is on them in good graces.

I did start watching Fantasia's show and I see what seems to be a person who is trying to survive. I see someone trying to survive with the help of the people who are suppose to be there for you the most, her family. Yes, her family is crazy…but she loves them. And she shows them for who they are…it's the family she has come to love, why should she hid them in the background? I appreciate the fact that she doesn't shield them. {Side note: I know everyone thinks her brother, Teeny, is crazy, but we all know someone like him…I know I do.} Not only does she admit her short comings she seems to be trying to make them better. I don't know many people who would admit to a room full of people that at 25, they are on a 7th grade level as far as education is concerned, let alone a celebrity. People would be more willing to admit to a drinking or pain killer addition. In the end, I believe that Fantasia is truly blessed more than she even thinks.

Book Review - The Ideal Wife by Jacquelin Thomas

****I didn’t give too much about this book because the subject matter is very sensitive****


So yes another book by Jacquelin Thomas, if you find an author you like read more of their books. I appreciate her ability to use the bible as a tool for enlightened and not a weapon for destruction. It brings the bible in modern times and challenges my thinking.

I'm sure by now everyone has heard 'wives submit yourselves to your husband' at least once. It's truly biblical don't believe me check out in Ephesians 5:22. Well as a Christian woman who is married I agree with this. Before all the feminists beat me up check out the verses before and after to get the panoramic view. It encourages husbands to 'love their wives as Christ loves the church.' And, trust me, Christ LOVES, LOVES, LOVES the church, so much he laid down his life, so please don't get it twisted. Love and submission in my book almost go hand and hand, can't have one without the other. This is one of the foundations the book uses. It challenges submission and love and their relation to boundaries and personal convictions. The story is actually based on the story of Queen Vashti, the queen before Esther.

Before this book I never realized the significance of Queen Vashti. In the first book of Esther, King Ahasuerus dismisses Queen Vashti because of her refusal to come out to be viewed by guests at the King's party; noting this request was made when he was 'merry with wine...' O_o According to some scholars, the King requested the Queen to come out with nothing on but her crown. Even if this is not the full truth the Queen was to be kept only for the King. A Queen is a King’s most “prized" possession. Once a queen was named she was kept away from the public eye unless it was for special occasions or requested by the King. Queen Vashti knew this, and therefore refused...it seems to me her direct refusal was more for the honor of the Queen, then the embarrassment of the King. However, this had to happen in order for Esther to take her place as Queen and help save the Jews. Sometimes things happen and we don't understand why until we see the full picture. Queen Vashti while defending her honor was dismissed as Queen to allow Esther to come in and save her 'people' from the hands of Haman.

Now before I go on I must say I am no way the ideal wife, I'm striving, but I know I have quite a ways to do. However, the book challenges wives, and husbands alike, to reevaluate what makes them 'ideal.' I believe, as I always have, that being 'ideal' has a lot to do with being equally yoked. If you are with someone who shares the same beliefs/values and such with you, you are more likely to work things out and be able to discuss things openly and honest. Next, I must say it is important before and during marriage to be completely honest with your partner about EVERYTHING. Leave no stone unturned, no closet door unopened and don't be afraid as a partner to ask. Marriage is hard enough without the secrets and lies.

So back to the book, Jana, a fervent Christian and recent newlywed with the desire to be the ideal wife to Lawrence, a prominent lawyer, struggles continuously with her desire to please God and her new husband. Lawrence requests of Jana continuously cause her to question her new husband, and in return cause him to question her ability to be the ideal wife. Together they struggle with a lifestyle that cost Lawrence his first marriage and might, ultimately, cause him his second. With the help of her sister, Robyn and her friend, Graciela, and her spiritually reasoning she learns sometimes success requires failure to save those around you.

Book Review - Redemption by Jacquelin Thomas

*********Spoiler...sort of, even if you read this it is still worth the read********

First, I must say this is not the first book I've read of Jacquelin Thomas. I read Defining Moments which from what I can remember was good. It was a sequel to The Prodigal Husband which I have yet to read, but soon I will. But this is about the book Redemption.

Jacquelin Thomas is a good writer, who uses common bible stories, and puts them into modern-day settings with a twist. Too many times we think the Bible is out of date and not applicable to us in this day in age; but God and His rules/values never change no matter what the situation. The Bible is a timeless book with life-governing principles that apply throughout the ages.

This book was based on the story of Hosea and Gomer found in the Bible in the book of Hosea. The story of Hosea and Gomer is about unconditional love. Love that goes beyond the basics/surface and reaches the core…and then firmly plants itself and creates roots there. It had my questioning how I currently love. I mean do I really love unconditional like Hosea was suppose to love or like God loves us. I came to the conclusion I don't because I have a breaking point, a point at which I say no more...a point where I put my foot down. This was not the case for Hosea nor is it the case for God. If He stopped loving my based on my conditions I'd be screwed by now.

I think Redemption challenged me to be better in my marriage. It challenged me to love more, forgive more, and worry about everything else less. I said, 'I do' without stipulations and conditions; but too many times the unmentioned and undefined stipulations and conditions rear their ugly heads and cause our love to falter. The story of Hosea was meant to be an example for the children of Israel to show what they do to God and how he still loves them unconditional.

This book hits home for me because it challenges me to love unconditional without the stipulations and void of the self-defense mechanisms. Many times I believe the stipulations and conditions come while we are protecting ourselves. The marriage of Gomer and Hosea is filled with prostitution, illegitimate children, and maybe, even drugs but all this did not keep Hosea from loving his wife and accepting her back, or even raising children that were not his own. The unconditional part comes when even after all she has done, Hosea still accepts her back and doesn't hold over her head the mistakes she has made. He forgives her and starts anew each time she leaves him to return to her 'worldly' ways. It challenges me, in my marriage, to love like God loves.

As for the book, it's about a televangelist who marries and actress. Although many didn't approve of their marriage they are determined to make it work, and for a while it does. However, Marian, actress, wife, mother wishes to return to the acting business after a break while raising her sons. This proves to be more than this family bargained for. Marian allows herself to become a victim of the wrong side of the 'Hollywood lifestyle,' and completely destroys the family she and her husband, Warner, once created. Yet in the midst of it all Warner is determined to take on the challenge given to Hosea to love unconditional without the strings, even though like Job he is tested. He is impressed to love and protect his wife and help her even when she doesn't want his help.

Yes, by the end of the book I was in tears, and probably a couple times before that. To see the love this man has for his wife and the fact that it parallels the story of Hosea which is a direct reflection of the way Christ loves us leaves me speechless. Check out the book and the story of Hosea.

Another New Addition to My Blog: Book Reviews

I LOVE to read and when I get a chance to read a good book I really appreciate it, and I like to share will others. So I'm going to start doing some book reviews on books I have read or am currently reading. Since I am back in school I will most likely lose some of my drive to read as much, but I am going to try and do better. The older I get the more I want to renew this since of passion I used to have for reading. I am completely taken away when I read. It's like taking a vacation. This love of reading had lead me to write some short stories, which I rarely share with the public, but might consider.

Book Review - The Conversation by Hill Harper

I am not a big fan of self-help books or actors turned motivational speakers, but I have to say I am more impressed than I thought I would be. I'm impressed to know that Hill Harper is not just an actor, but he is an intelligent, educated man. I feel that judging a book by it's author is important sometimes. While the book itself is not about the author he does share some real-life experiences that make the book more personal, and it helps to know that he seems to know what he is talking about.

I like this book so far because it is a book filled with common sense that we chose to ignore at times. It brings to light the ignorant fears we have and makes us address them. I think that the book for me has done what it was intended to do and that start the conversation (which I've had plenty of since I started this book). I love the interaction that he includes in the book, it helps create a dynamic that gives a somewhat panoramic view of prevalent situations we sometimes face.

I wish he would have described more about the people who were talking, so I could feel like I knew them better. So I could judge whether or not they were justified in their beliefs. And I'd hoped for more dialog between men and women and not just separated conversations. I think it would have helped in continuing the conversation had he created a forum for that type of interaction. Also I wish it could be more diverse...sometimes the responses seem staged and too cliche.

To Whom it May Concern...(Follow-Up Blog)

So this is just a brief follow-up to my blog yesterday. I felt compelled to write for my potential future daughter, because I want her to be better than me.

If you don't have your father's metabolism and end up on the other side of the spectrum I want you to know a couple things. First and foremost, while the world judges you for looks and size, God does not, neither will your father or I. We will love you for the person you become because you belong to us, and will be a part of us. It's never easy to explain the hurt and pain that comes with this issue, but understand that you can rise above this. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter what anyone tells you. It took me a while to figure that out. And while I did talk about your relatives and their constant drive to lose weight, they too will accept you (but you will get tired of the weight loss talk…lol). I promise to do the best I can to create an environment where you are able to flourish and reach your full potential no matter what obstacles may befall you. Feeling comfortable in your skin is important and something only you can do for yourself. But know I will your biggest cheerleader, standing behind you through it all.

Now the tough stuff:

I think childhood obesity is the problem of the parent, and I will do everything in my power to make sure this never happens to you. I am totally devoted to making sure, in all things, you are taken care of. I will not take lightly the responsibility placed upon me. While I will take responsibility for your health as a child, it is up to you to continue that trend well on into your adulthood; once again lending my support in any way I can.

One day you will start to like boys (and they will start to like you), and you will stress about your looks continually. I used to think my weight hindered my dating, but it was my standards (I will make sure you have the same standards…I don't take kindly to females with no standards…blame your grandparents ;-) ). You weight/looks might be a problem for some. But there will be some, like your dad, that will see that past that, and love you for who you are. Those are the ones that are worth your time.

There will also be certain characteristics, like being blessed in your chest (if not you got those genes from your dad's side…haha) that you might not be able to get away from (check our your great aunts). I can't do anything about that *shrug*.

If you are reading this then I am sure you have read my previous blog (which means you've probably read even more, it's cool you probably already knew I was crazy…lol…once again grandparents fault). I came to a lot of realizations later in life after my thought process had be formed, and thus I had to deal with now reprogramming my thought process to be more in line with what 'actually is'. My blog yesterday was my acknowledgment of what 'actually is' and a small step to acceptance. It's not gonna be easy to do this nor has it been, but it's definitely not impossible. Never doubt who or what you are because of the whack standards others put on you. Be content with who you are and in the skin you’re in.

I love you because you are a part of me.