I wasn't sure how to start this blog off, since I'd be talking about marriage. Guess I'll just say it's a gift from God to be appreciated and acknowledged for what it is. Anita Baker was onto something in her song Fairy Tale, when she says she wasn't told the truth about love and the consquences of it. Love and marriage are anything but easy, however, they can still be some of the best things ever.
The thing I will mention is marriage is not a quick fix to any problem. Loneliness...finding a sense of purpose...power advancement...I have been married for 1 year, 5 months, 10 days nothing compared to my parents 30 years in June. But I have still learned a couple things in my time being married. Marriage is not a fairy tale and it does not fix anything, and if a relationship is broke all marriage leave it broken. Marriage without careful consideration does nothing but create a catastrophe out of a disaster. Here are the basics I've learned:
- Two people living together under one roof will usually have some sort of disagreements...it's not the end of the world. Learn to work though them. Separation/Divorce is only an option if you make it one.
- Always talk to your spouse, if you can't be totally honest (vulnerable) with them. Who can you be honest with then? Build up your communication.
- Just because someone is married doesn't mean their life is perfect. Marriage is not the recipe for a perfect life. As a matter of fact I think it's just the opposite.
- Marriage is full of lessons if you are willing to learn: humility, service, sacrifice, unconditional love, patience, long-suffering, honesty, truth, healing, selflessness (that's a hard one), and the list only continues
-vMarriage can teach you a thing or two about yourself...
- Marriage does not remove the need for friends nor does it replace my friends. Just because I have a husband doesn't mean I don't need friends. This one always gets me...*sigh* I still need friends.
- Your wish should be for marriage to come when your really ready and not just when you think you're ready. If your not ready it makes the lessons above harder to learn.
- Sacrifice in marriage is not avoidable if you truly want a lasting relationship.
- Regardless what anyone tells you marriage is rarely 50/50 sometimes it's 70/30, 90/10, 110/0, 40/60. The important thing to remember is it's about give and take and most importantly sacrifice.
- In the end marriage is about happy contentment, it's ultimately about being with someone you can't stand to be without. :)
4 comments:
I'm not married (far from it) but I do know a thing or two about relationships in general and you are absoutely right in your observations. Married or dating, the rules still apply.
It's not easy, but you know what? You and hubby have made it 1 yr, 5 months and 10 days. That says alot for such a young couple. Keep God at the forefront of your relationship and those bumps in the road wont' shake you too bad.
You always write really informative yet very enjoyable posts. Even though I'm 20, I think about marriage frequently and about all of the changes that I will have to make if I want marriage to work for me. I can definitely be selfish and somewhat paranoid about things at times, and those traits must go away before I consider marriage. Also, the last line, "In the end marriage is about happy contentment, it's ultimately about being with someone you can't stand to be without" really struck a nerve with me. I already have someone who I can't stand to be without...I just don't know what God's will is for us. I guess we'll all find out in the future! :)
Monique - thanks girl I am pressing on day-by-day.
Britt - Thank you so much girl. I am glad you enjoy it, just random thoughts from my mind in an organized fashion. The advice I can offer you is enjoy every moment with that person. Don't rush anything, everything happens in due time. :)
brutally honest post about marriage!
I'm not married, but this line stands out for me "- it's ultimately about being with someone you can't stand to be without. :)
and of course someone who can't see life without you either.
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