On the Real...and *sigh*

This weekend was girls weekend complete with sushi (I loved it!), massages, and painting, it was such a breath of fresh air. I had so much fun. We also went wedding dress shopping…I think she found 'the one' but only time will tell. I am very blessed to have 2 friends in my life that I can travel with, and who understand me (cause they are so much like me…lol!!). This weekend I realized the bond I have with them can not be recreated in my relationships with others because ours is an unique one. They really encourage me to be better and try new things…it was like a prudish control-freaks united convention. (LOL)

I presented them with a situation this weekend, and they both gave me the same direct answer. Of course I was testing to see how they would answer, but when they did it made me realize that creeping compromise is dangerous. Honestly I knew the answer, and they were right, and it sent my head swirling. Also it made me step back and think if sometimes being too nice is a problem. To be completely honestly I've rarely had that problem except with my friendships. However recently I have been slipping and it's time to get back on track. I can not allow the things in this world to have me falter.

These are some of the things floating around in my mind and heavy on my heart after my question. They are in no way complete or in any order. They are different things that have made me think this weekend. Part of me wants to go into details, but I don't have the time or patience, so for now I just *sigh* about them.

I feel like not much can be accomplished unless you put your foot down. I am not one to talk, but I think that too many times we are not direct about how we feel and it leads us into temptation and gets us in trouble. If we don't show people what we stand for we will fall for anything. I had an incident that happened in April that made me understand the more you allow people to come in and say anything to you the more accepting you become of it. Causally dismissing it is not enough. You have to shutdown the advances of those who seek to 'harm' you intentional or unintentional. Your first line of defense is your willingness to be forthright and honest with yourself and others. My aunt mentioned a phrase and it has stuck with me, I'll blog about it again later…but it's creeping compromise. So many times for short lived pleasure we abandon our morals and values, and what you know is right. The thing is most times we know when we are guilty of it, and yet we choose to continuously ignore it and put ourselves at a disadvantage. We allow others to take advantage of us... *sigh*

Next, I am having an issue with taking people's word for it. So recently as I have blogged about I am apart of the social networking phenomenon in the form of twitter, and very rarely facebook…I also gatlk, IM and BBM. So, when communicating on twitter, gtalk, IM, BBM all you can go off it what people tell you. You can gather bits and pieces based off of others perception of them or even what they say in general, but still it's completely up to them the picture they convey. So with that being said I have to be careful of what I believe which is hard for me because I like to take people's word for it. I want to trust and believe people. Usually you are innocent with me until proven guilty. I truly believe 'word is bond' in the truest form. I struggle with this because sometimes I can't read people over the Internet like I can in real life and that disturbs me. I can't see fully if you are telling me the truth or pulling the wool over my eyes. It's something I struggle with on a daily basis because at the end of the day all I have is your word. *sigh*

Finally, I realize the female perspective on certain issues differs vastly from the male perspective. Yes, I know you already knew that, but I am opening it up like that anyway. :) Recently I've been bothered by the male/female interaction that I have encountered by my peers. Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to police other actions or perhaps I am. I bothered partly because I don't believe we are not being honest enough with other which is a completely different story, but true. My main problem at this moment is that I know for a fact some women's insecurities stem directly from the way they are treated by their significant others. Most times these small acts or comments from a significant other can take a big toll. They are mostly not meant with malice or hurtful intentions, and are sometimes not noticed or talked about, but can be magnified during altercations and such. To help you understand more I'll give you a scenario...your significant other has a friend that he occasionally flirts with. Harmless, right? Probably so, but it bothers you, and sometimes it makes you insecure about yourself. So here's the thing, I think it is completely unnecessary, childish and immature to act like a fool in this situation. Better you sit down and discuss it with your significant other, and not the other party involved as your business should not be with them. However, many people do not realize what a small situation like this can do to the female perspective (pysche). This small incident can make her feel insecure, less sure of herself. Bigger incidents like this can lead a strong, secure, independent woman to became an insecure, bitter, and defensive little girl. I understand that sometimes like I said this is not done with malice intent, but it is and can be damage done. The small comments about other women's features, the pleasure you find in other women's company, the sly comments you make to or about other women in her presence. Though small and, at times, insignificant are making more of big deal than you think. I am not saying that a woman has no stake in it, it is her responsibility to make sure she is being upfront and direct with you so on and so forth. But I have seen the demise of many women because of the inability of her significant other to recognize the damage he's done knowingly and even unknowingly. *sigh*