I have come to the conclusion that while expressing myself emotionally is human, certain emotions make me feel weak and unable to control my situation; especially emotions like sadness. I just usually want to be alone and keep my thoughts to myself. I'm honest with myself when I admit that things are tough, but I'm not always honest with those around me. My fear to express myself completely comes from my fear of being vulnerable with people.
Emotionally Expressing what is truly inside is something that I don’t handle as easily as I'd like to. Why? I guess other than it being an innate trait (that I probably got from my momma) it's a coping and defense mechanism. I don’t want to be bound to anyone because of what I am feeling and what I express to them…I am always suspicious of people's motives. I feel like expressing myself emotionally requires me to trust in a way I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable doing.
The thing is in normal situations I am fine expressing myself or my viewpoint, but when things get more personal than I like, I clam up. I don't think I've ever admitted that I need help, but just maybe that's a good place to start.
2 comments:
wow. i felt like you were describing me, not you. that's deep. lol
I think that described about 75% of people. Sure you should express yourself but you also have to protect yourself too. Not to imply that all motives of others are for hurtful reasons, you just never know. The recovery from betrayal by someone you know can be much more worst than any other experience.
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