I still believe there are good people. I still believe there are good guys. I still believe there are good parents. I still believe some people can be helped. I still believe some people want to change. I still believe there are people who want to be saved. I am still an advocate for celibacy and abstinence, I still believe some people want to save themselves.
And I believe because I believe these things, they are possible.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Appeal
When I die what will they say about me will the work that I've done be enough to help someone when I die WILL I draw men's hearts to you at the setting of the sun wanna hear you say well done when I die
Twitterviews
So I am getting to know some of my twitter followers on a more personal level, so I’ve started Twitterviews. It’s a personal peek into one of my twitter followers innermost thoughts. I ask all of them the same questions but elaborate where needed. I hope you enjoy getting to know my followers as much as I have.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Being a Better Me
The truth hurts, but sometimes I need to hear it. Contentment in constructive criticism.
Justification of Hypocrisy
Normally when I have a problem I blog about it (which I just should have done in retrospect). Perhaps I was reading too much into stuff that very well might be the case, but it was never my intention to offend anyone. However, if I did I am sorry for that.
So next I'll start out by saying this I care too much sometimes, more than others would like me to at times. And if you know me and have known me, you would know it's not just a passing thing. It's who I am…I care a lot about people. I feel the need most times to give second chances and give the benefit of the doubt even though once my tolerance is gone it's hard to get it back (something I still struggle with…). But I feel like it is my duty as a Christian and as a generally concerned human being to be like that. I understand not everyone shares my position on this and that is fine I can accept that, but why must you criticize me for it? I know that I am not perfect and not within sin, and my intention is never to act like that. However, I guess when I get like this I can step on some toes (and seem pretentious), but I am holding myself to the same standards.
Basically my biggest plight at the moment is I am frustrated with being a hypocrite. Yes, a hypocrite…everyone is in some way or has been or is somewhat of a hypocrite. I see it and do it all the time. We will call someone out on the very thing that at times binds us. So it seems being a hypocrite is a part of human nature, but what I have a big problem with is justification of hypocrisy. Trying to make things ok by brushing if off or saying it was just a joke and thinking that it's not a big deal just because you said it was. That is where my issues lie. And the fact of the matter is I have done it. I am GUILITY too…I am not claiming innocence at all. But recently I have realized it's not right and I need to make a change.
The face of the matter is we all have issues…and we all fall short. I should removed the plank from my eye before I try to remove the speck from yours.
So next I'll start out by saying this I care too much sometimes, more than others would like me to at times. And if you know me and have known me, you would know it's not just a passing thing. It's who I am…I care a lot about people. I feel the need most times to give second chances and give the benefit of the doubt even though once my tolerance is gone it's hard to get it back (something I still struggle with…). But I feel like it is my duty as a Christian and as a generally concerned human being to be like that. I understand not everyone shares my position on this and that is fine I can accept that, but why must you criticize me for it? I know that I am not perfect and not within sin, and my intention is never to act like that. However, I guess when I get like this I can step on some toes (and seem pretentious), but I am holding myself to the same standards.
Basically my biggest plight at the moment is I am frustrated with being a hypocrite. Yes, a hypocrite…everyone is in some way or has been or is somewhat of a hypocrite. I see it and do it all the time. We will call someone out on the very thing that at times binds us. So it seems being a hypocrite is a part of human nature, but what I have a big problem with is justification of hypocrisy. Trying to make things ok by brushing if off or saying it was just a joke and thinking that it's not a big deal just because you said it was. That is where my issues lie. And the fact of the matter is I have done it. I am GUILITY too…I am not claiming innocence at all. But recently I have realized it's not right and I need to make a change.
The face of the matter is we all have issues…and we all fall short. I should removed the plank from my eye before I try to remove the speck from yours.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Resisting the Pressure: Free to Be ME
If you think peer pressure ended when high school finished think again. Peer pressure is once again, a necessary evil and a continuous part of life. I have seen some people do some stupid things in adulthood due to peer pressure, what I can not seem to understand is why...What makes you think that someone knows better than you, that somehow their reality is better than your? All I can say is to each his own. I even see it virtually...people fighting for attention from people they barely know, and some they've never even met. I recently took a break from social networking partly because of that, I felt the need to conform and that is not what I want to ever do. I never want to feel like I have to be something other than what I am to get people to pay attention to me or to like me. Call it what you want but it is crazy either way.
So considering what I mentioned above, this caused me to realize today I have a problem with people who go with the crowd just because. Those who choose not to march to their own beat. Those are more concerned about what others think than doing what might be unpopular. Doing something just to get attention. For instance, people who seemingly have certain beliefs and morals one minute and the next minute do something that is completely contradicting to those beliefs and morals. Why is that? It baffles me, and makes me weary about whether or not you are being completely honest and foreright about yourself to yourself. I believe many people do it because of the peer pressure because it makes them more popular or gets them the attention they want be it good or bad.
On the flip side there are times that you have to change and adjust to fit your audience, but it should not be done at the expensive of what you believe or you are. But alas this is about and what I want to be. I want to be consistent in all that I do, I want what I believe and who I am to always be parallel. I never want people to question my actions or motives constantly because they seemingly contradict with what I am saying. I want to say what I mean and mean what I say...I want to let my actions and my words coexist in beautiful harmony. Because in the end this is the contentment I search for...and I'm more comfortable in my skin knowing that I am whoever I say I am.
So considering what I mentioned above, this caused me to realize today I have a problem with people who go with the crowd just because. Those who choose not to march to their own beat. Those are more concerned about what others think than doing what might be unpopular. Doing something just to get attention. For instance, people who seemingly have certain beliefs and morals one minute and the next minute do something that is completely contradicting to those beliefs and morals. Why is that? It baffles me, and makes me weary about whether or not you are being completely honest and foreright about yourself to yourself. I believe many people do it because of the peer pressure because it makes them more popular or gets them the attention they want be it good or bad.
On the flip side there are times that you have to change and adjust to fit your audience, but it should not be done at the expensive of what you believe or you are. But alas this is about and what I want to be. I want to be consistent in all that I do, I want what I believe and who I am to always be parallel. I never want people to question my actions or motives constantly because they seemingly contradict with what I am saying. I want to say what I mean and mean what I say...I want to let my actions and my words coexist in beautiful harmony. Because in the end this is the contentment I search for...and I'm more comfortable in my skin knowing that I am whoever I say I am.
Friday, June 04, 2010
On the Real
It's June 2010 already!! Where in the heck has the time gone?! Who knows...I just felt like free-styling so I'm doing it. I feel so much better than I did earlier in the year. At times the growing pains of life got to me, but I am happy to say that I am back and better than ever. I am a better person cause I choose to be a better person. I have decided to stick to my guns and make the most of what I have. My first task...learning to accept myself and what makes me...me.
Reaching internal contentment...:)
Reaching internal contentment...:)
Dating (with Purpose)
So dating is a necessary evil for most, but it doesn't have to be a complete waste of time. And at times it can be completely worth it. At first I thought I didn't have much authority to write about this, but then I realized I have more than I think. So here is apart of my opinion in a nutshell. Any further questions can be asked directly at any point in time. :)
Jailyn's Dating Commandments
I. Don't date outside your league.
II. Don't put yourself on a timeline.
III. Do be upfront about your intentions.
IV. Do remember all relationships require some sort of compromise.
V. Do remember no one is without flaws.
VI. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.
VII. Do understand that no relationship is perfect.
VIII. Don't be afraid to make you own rules.
IX. Do take your time, true happiness can not be rushed.
X. Don’t ever settle…you only cheat yourself.
Are you more afraid of being alone or being with the wrong person...that is the question to answer.
If your answer is being with the wrong person, as it should be, you should date like so. This means not settling, not putting yourself on a timeline, and not dating for the heck of it, etc. Date with purpose…always date with the end result in mind. If your end result is marriage then only date those who are worthy of your time in that respect. Dating frivolously, aka causal dating, will cause some confusion and may make you believe that the wrong person is the right one...dating without purpose causes you to waste time and loose focus. Why date someone who does not share the same end goal as you? This is a pointless feat which usually only ends in emotional tragedy...I am not saying not to go on dates, I'm saying evaluate the potential dater with a personal scale of dating tolerance. See if they pass the test early, so you don't fail the final later.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with causal dating, to each his own, just don't expect much from causal dating. If you are causally dating then understand that the very nature of causal dating does not leave much room for finding 'the one.'It’s causal for that purpose, no strings attached and all that jazz. And if that is all you are looking for drink up and enjoy...it's your life you can have your cake and eat it too.
The first thing to do to avoid frivolous dating make you intentions known upfront once dating picks up. It's never too soon to see where a relationship is headed, it's ok to ask and discuss and very necessary. Next, listen to what the other person's intentions are...if they're intentions don't parallel yours don't waste you time or theirs. In the end it is what it is and it will be what it will be. Next, don't fall victim to substitute dating, thinking you can change someone. A substitute is never as good as the real thing.
Understand that most times you are the problem...since most times you are the common denominator. This is NOT a bad thing. This happens when you date out you league or when you try to settle. This happens sometimes when your answer to the question above is fear of being alone rather than fear of being with the wrong person. If you date someone outside of your rim of expectations expect to be disappointed. Always heed the red flags and test the string. The red flags are things that say (SCREAM) 'this is not right' and the strings are tied to a person's feelings, beliefs, issues, situations, etc. see how long those strings are and what they are attached too before you sign up for something you never intended to.
Dating like you afraid to be with the wrong person is tough. It requires you to forsake some of the feelings that trap you in your fear of being alone. Staying focus of the task at hand and remembering that a little 'aloneness' now can save you some heartache later. I understand that anomalies are to be expected...but carefully consider potential dates and require out of them what you want.
Know that patience, in dating, is a viture only attained by a few, and to them is given the greatest reward...CONTENTMENT
Jailyn's Dating Commandments
I. Don't date outside your league.
II. Don't put yourself on a timeline.
III. Do be upfront about your intentions.
IV. Do remember all relationships require some sort of compromise.
V. Do remember no one is without flaws.
VI. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.
VII. Do understand that no relationship is perfect.
VIII. Don't be afraid to make you own rules.
IX. Do take your time, true happiness can not be rushed.
X. Don’t ever settle…you only cheat yourself.
Are you more afraid of being alone or being with the wrong person...that is the question to answer.
If your answer is being with the wrong person, as it should be, you should date like so. This means not settling, not putting yourself on a timeline, and not dating for the heck of it, etc. Date with purpose…always date with the end result in mind. If your end result is marriage then only date those who are worthy of your time in that respect. Dating frivolously, aka causal dating, will cause some confusion and may make you believe that the wrong person is the right one...dating without purpose causes you to waste time and loose focus. Why date someone who does not share the same end goal as you? This is a pointless feat which usually only ends in emotional tragedy...I am not saying not to go on dates, I'm saying evaluate the potential dater with a personal scale of dating tolerance. See if they pass the test early, so you don't fail the final later.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with causal dating, to each his own, just don't expect much from causal dating. If you are causally dating then understand that the very nature of causal dating does not leave much room for finding 'the one.'It’s causal for that purpose, no strings attached and all that jazz. And if that is all you are looking for drink up and enjoy...it's your life you can have your cake and eat it too.
The first thing to do to avoid frivolous dating make you intentions known upfront once dating picks up. It's never too soon to see where a relationship is headed, it's ok to ask and discuss and very necessary. Next, listen to what the other person's intentions are...if they're intentions don't parallel yours don't waste you time or theirs. In the end it is what it is and it will be what it will be. Next, don't fall victim to substitute dating, thinking you can change someone. A substitute is never as good as the real thing.
Understand that most times you are the problem...since most times you are the common denominator. This is NOT a bad thing. This happens when you date out you league or when you try to settle. This happens sometimes when your answer to the question above is fear of being alone rather than fear of being with the wrong person. If you date someone outside of your rim of expectations expect to be disappointed. Always heed the red flags and test the string. The red flags are things that say (SCREAM) 'this is not right' and the strings are tied to a person's feelings, beliefs, issues, situations, etc. see how long those strings are and what they are attached too before you sign up for something you never intended to.
Dating like you afraid to be with the wrong person is tough. It requires you to forsake some of the feelings that trap you in your fear of being alone. Staying focus of the task at hand and remembering that a little 'aloneness' now can save you some heartache later. I understand that anomalies are to be expected...but carefully consider potential dates and require out of them what you want.
Know that patience, in dating, is a viture only attained by a few, and to them is given the greatest reward...CONTENTMENT
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Music in my head...
I am the only one
I would right every wrong...I would change every line....I am the only one
When it hurt so bad...why does feel so good? What you want might make you cry...What you need may pass you by...if you don't catch it. "What sounds nice might not always be right for you..."
I know my creator didn't make any mistakes on me...I'm not the average girl from your video and I'm not built like a supermodel. My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes. A lady ain't what she wears but what she knows. Go on love yourself.
I can remember stories...fairy tales before I went to bed...my mind was filled with visions of perfect paradise...the story ends as stories do...reality steps into view. No longer living life in paradise or fairy tales. You never came to save...alone in the cold. No fairy tales. I found no magic potion, no horse with wings to fly...no royal kiss could save me, no magic spell to spin, my fantasy is over my life must now begin....REALITY steps into view...No fairy tales
As I stand here contemplating on the right thing to decided will I take the wrong direction. All my life, where will I go? What lies ahead of me?
Where would I be if I didn't know you?
You make my heart scream and holler...love's a gamble and I'm so glad I am winning! Never too much!
You've search high and you looked low....you've trailing to and fro...makes no difference where you go...this one thing you should know....that you'll never find nobody like the Lord. You have friends that say they'll stick with you through thick and thin, but when it's thick or thin those friends get hard to find. If you are wise then you will follow this advice and take Jesus as friend for the rest of your life. There's no relationship so fulfilling, no other friend so willing, no other one who really cares.
One shot to the heart without breaking your skin...no one has the power to hurt you like your kin...One shot to the heart without breaking your skin...no one has the power to hurt you like your friends...you'll never be happy until you see the beauty in growing old.
You made my soul a burning fire...thinking baby, about you baby, thinking baby, about you baby, give it to me baby...all I do is think about you
Realized that I just don't love you, not like I used to...used to love...used to love you...
I didn't know that I had that much strength...you can't just play with people feelings...but I think I deserve to smile.
When it ends...it ends in tears...pretty little darling have heart...don't let one mistake keep us apart...I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home.
I would right every wrong...I would change every line....I am the only one
When it hurt so bad...why does feel so good? What you want might make you cry...What you need may pass you by...if you don't catch it. "What sounds nice might not always be right for you..."
I know my creator didn't make any mistakes on me...I'm not the average girl from your video and I'm not built like a supermodel. My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes. A lady ain't what she wears but what she knows. Go on love yourself.
I can remember stories...fairy tales before I went to bed...my mind was filled with visions of perfect paradise...the story ends as stories do...reality steps into view. No longer living life in paradise or fairy tales. You never came to save...alone in the cold. No fairy tales. I found no magic potion, no horse with wings to fly...no royal kiss could save me, no magic spell to spin, my fantasy is over my life must now begin....REALITY steps into view...No fairy tales
As I stand here contemplating on the right thing to decided will I take the wrong direction. All my life, where will I go? What lies ahead of me?
Where would I be if I didn't know you?
You make my heart scream and holler...love's a gamble and I'm so glad I am winning! Never too much!
You've search high and you looked low....you've trailing to and fro...makes no difference where you go...this one thing you should know....that you'll never find nobody like the Lord. You have friends that say they'll stick with you through thick and thin, but when it's thick or thin those friends get hard to find. If you are wise then you will follow this advice and take Jesus as friend for the rest of your life. There's no relationship so fulfilling, no other friend so willing, no other one who really cares.
One shot to the heart without breaking your skin...no one has the power to hurt you like your kin...One shot to the heart without breaking your skin...no one has the power to hurt you like your friends...you'll never be happy until you see the beauty in growing old.
You made my soul a burning fire...thinking baby, about you baby, thinking baby, about you baby, give it to me baby...all I do is think about you
Realized that I just don't love you, not like I used to...used to love...used to love you...
I didn't know that I had that much strength...you can't just play with people feelings...but I think I deserve to smile.
When it ends...it ends in tears...pretty little darling have heart...don't let one mistake keep us apart...I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Sweet Dream or Beautiful Nightmare...
Both remind me of the pain, irony, and beauty that come with growth.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
On the Real
I haven't blogged in what seems like forever…so I've force myself to do it today. :) I started On the Real a while ago when I first started my blog in like 2005. It's basically the random thoughts in my mind of real life events and situations.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind…everything had just been running together. I can not wait until this weekend (Sunday specifically…to lay on my couch and start my Ally McBeal series…one of my birthday gifts).
My birthday which was on April 20 was pretty good this year. Breakfast, shopping, spa and dinner. So simple and so relaxing…it felt nice. I turned 25 wish I could have celebrated more, but *shrug* such is life. It was much better than some of the past years, so I'll take it. Special thanks to those that did make it special: Chris, Raquel, Danielle, Deanna, and Matt.
Next, I went to Detroit and make some of my tweeps (twitter friends or followers). That was cool. I didn't want to tell my parents or friends at first, because I didn't want them to worry or think I was crazy. I finally told them and they didn't respond like I expected, probably because I was on the trip or the trip was over. They can be such worriers sometimes. It funny because my tweeps are people who in real life I would have never crossed path with because some of us have some major differences, oh well, that's the main point of twitter. As of lately I haven't wanted to tweet much, guess in a search to really understand me…I need to get away from things that make me want to be something or someone else (ponder on that…any further questions come ask me).
I've also been thinking about some of the things I hate about myself *another shrug*. I know hate is such a strong word, but some of these things deserve to be hated. I hate that I want everyone to like me. I hate that I care so much for people who care so little. I hate how I want to help everyone, even those who don't want to be helped. I hate how I want to be included sometimes. I hate how I can't truly love and accept myself sometimes because the way I look. I hate when I get invested in a situation and I can't let go. I hate when I want to be someone's friend, and they keep rejecting my friendship. I hate that I can't just let stuff go sometimes. I hate that I always want to make things better. I hate that I want to help or be helpful. I hate that I want to be a great friend, but I have sucky friendships. I hate how I sometimes mask who I am because I am afraid of what people might thing…basically at times I am afriad to be me…go figure. So many other things is hate, but I'll digress for now. I feel like I should do a paragraph of things if love about myself, but if you look closely some of these 'hates' are also the very things that make me…me and make me stand out above the rest.
Finally, I've had a mini-rant in my head for a while...I hate complainers (always complaining…nothing is ever good enough)…life is what you make it. Deal with it!!! Stop complaining….who cares what you don't have (maybe you are not ready for it)…focus on what you do have…realize life is not going to stop just because you haven't done everything you wanted to or haven't accomplished all your goals. *SLAP* snap out of it…you're alive and in your right mind, seemingly, if you're reading this, so LIVE LIFE…BE YOU…people live life waiting for stuff to happen and all the way stuff is happening...(I'm talking to you and to myself)…"Life is what happens while you're busy making plans." ~ John Lennon
I am very blessed. I started to take it for granted, but I moving on cause pity doesn't look good me. Pity and envy insult my intelligence and degrade what I have built up for myself.
Trying to be content in the moment to set myself up for contentment for a lifetime.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind…everything had just been running together. I can not wait until this weekend (Sunday specifically…to lay on my couch and start my Ally McBeal series…one of my birthday gifts).
My birthday which was on April 20 was pretty good this year. Breakfast, shopping, spa and dinner. So simple and so relaxing…it felt nice. I turned 25 wish I could have celebrated more, but *shrug* such is life. It was much better than some of the past years, so I'll take it. Special thanks to those that did make it special: Chris, Raquel, Danielle, Deanna, and Matt.
Next, I went to Detroit and make some of my tweeps (twitter friends or followers). That was cool. I didn't want to tell my parents or friends at first, because I didn't want them to worry or think I was crazy. I finally told them and they didn't respond like I expected, probably because I was on the trip or the trip was over. They can be such worriers sometimes. It funny because my tweeps are people who in real life I would have never crossed path with because some of us have some major differences, oh well, that's the main point of twitter. As of lately I haven't wanted to tweet much, guess in a search to really understand me…I need to get away from things that make me want to be something or someone else (ponder on that…any further questions come ask me).
I've also been thinking about some of the things I hate about myself *another shrug*. I know hate is such a strong word, but some of these things deserve to be hated. I hate that I want everyone to like me. I hate that I care so much for people who care so little. I hate how I want to help everyone, even those who don't want to be helped. I hate how I want to be included sometimes. I hate how I can't truly love and accept myself sometimes because the way I look. I hate when I get invested in a situation and I can't let go. I hate when I want to be someone's friend, and they keep rejecting my friendship. I hate that I can't just let stuff go sometimes. I hate that I always want to make things better. I hate that I want to help or be helpful. I hate that I want to be a great friend, but I have sucky friendships. I hate how I sometimes mask who I am because I am afraid of what people might thing…basically at times I am afriad to be me…go figure. So many other things is hate, but I'll digress for now. I feel like I should do a paragraph of things if love about myself, but if you look closely some of these 'hates' are also the very things that make me…me and make me stand out above the rest.
Finally, I've had a mini-rant in my head for a while...I hate complainers (always complaining…nothing is ever good enough)…life is what you make it. Deal with it!!! Stop complaining….who cares what you don't have (maybe you are not ready for it)…focus on what you do have…realize life is not going to stop just because you haven't done everything you wanted to or haven't accomplished all your goals. *SLAP* snap out of it…you're alive and in your right mind, seemingly, if you're reading this, so LIVE LIFE…BE YOU…people live life waiting for stuff to happen and all the way stuff is happening...(I'm talking to you and to myself)…"Life is what happens while you're busy making plans." ~ John Lennon
I am very blessed. I started to take it for granted, but I moving on cause pity doesn't look good me. Pity and envy insult my intelligence and degrade what I have built up for myself.
Trying to be content in the moment to set myself up for contentment for a lifetime.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Is this Me?!
I learned something about myself this week...I have not been honest with myself. Not sure of the exact reasons but I think maybe if I think if I say it out loud it might be true and I might have to deal with it. I believe that I have had somewhat of an epiphany...I have realized that my issues are like an onion...they are layered. I have been trying to focus on the small layers (issues) and have not addressed the biggest layer (issues). So I believe the biggest issue is the way I am or have been lately is not me...it's just not who I am...It's almost like I'm someone completely different...not sure yet if it's good or bad...or if I want to change it...or what exactly I want to change...I guess I do want to change somethings, but haven't really decided what. I guess I am glad that I am finally looking at the bigger picture and trying to organize and get it together. So until then searching for contentment in layers... :)
Monday, April 05, 2010
Twitter - The Social Network Phenomenon
I'll try to explain this for all you non-tweeters. Twitter is a continuous online conversation...Instant Messaging (IM) on steroids as I've heard it called. You meet people from all over and just talk to them almost daily about everything and nothing. Friendships, relationships, hate-ships have all started because of twitter. And because you talk and share more with these people daily, than you talk to some friends or family members, you create a bond. I resisted tweeting at first because I felt like it was just a bunch of random people with nothing better to do but get in other people's business. While at times it is like that, it has/had become more to me than that. It's a community, a culture, somewhat of a social movement...
Anywho at this point I have mixed feelings about it...Twitter came at a point when the drama in my life was at an all time high and I needed any escape. Now my escape has become too much like real life...I wondered how long my fascination would last with it... and while I haven't quite given up on Twitter...random hiatus' are very necessary at times...
I have too many mixed feelings about Twitter and my tweeps to explore them here. Just had to get it out there...
Anywho at this point I have mixed feelings about it...Twitter came at a point when the drama in my life was at an all time high and I needed any escape. Now my escape has become too much like real life...I wondered how long my fascination would last with it... and while I haven't quite given up on Twitter...random hiatus' are very necessary at times...
I have too many mixed feelings about Twitter and my tweeps to explore them here. Just had to get it out there...
Me, myself and I - Birthday Blues
My first post in April will be about Me cause this is my month (and this is my blog)! :)
So first and foremost...I had a GREAT weekend. Haven't had one in a long time I needed it. Friends, family, good food, fun and great conversations, what more could a girl ask for?! I thought the social atmosphere would be too much for me to handle this weekend, but I think it was just what the doctor ordered.
On to the next subject: I've been avoiding writing this, hoping that my general emotion would blow over, so maybe after I get it off my chest I'll feel better.
So in 2 weeks I'll be 25...I am excited about reaching this milestone. I will no longer have to pay that stupid young driver insurance for rental cars, my general insurance goes down, and that's pretty much it other than I am offically starting my countdown (or count up...) to 30.
I love birthdays always have...I ALWAYS had birthday parties when I was younger, never was my birthday skipped or overlooked or passed up as if it was not important. However as I got older somehow that started to change...and now I am slightly cynical toward birthdays. I've spent birthdays in my dorm alone with takeout, out with a bunch of randoms cause my 'friends' had better things to do, and I have cried on my birthday for the past 5 years...so needless to say I am extremely nervous about the upcoming birthday. So much so that all I want to do is be alone to avoid disappointment. I know it sounds super crazy, but it's really how I feel. Maybe as the time gets closer I start to feel more enlightened, but I doubt it...I know others shouldn't dictate how my birthday goes, and from now on they won't, but that still doesn't change my mind or attitude.
Searching for contentment at 25....
So first and foremost...I had a GREAT weekend. Haven't had one in a long time I needed it. Friends, family, good food, fun and great conversations, what more could a girl ask for?! I thought the social atmosphere would be too much for me to handle this weekend, but I think it was just what the doctor ordered.
On to the next subject: I've been avoiding writing this, hoping that my general emotion would blow over, so maybe after I get it off my chest I'll feel better.
So in 2 weeks I'll be 25...I am excited about reaching this milestone. I will no longer have to pay that stupid young driver insurance for rental cars, my general insurance goes down, and that's pretty much it other than I am offically starting my countdown (or count up...) to 30.
I love birthdays always have...I ALWAYS had birthday parties when I was younger, never was my birthday skipped or overlooked or passed up as if it was not important. However as I got older somehow that started to change...and now I am slightly cynical toward birthdays. I've spent birthdays in my dorm alone with takeout, out with a bunch of randoms cause my 'friends' had better things to do, and I have cried on my birthday for the past 5 years...so needless to say I am extremely nervous about the upcoming birthday. So much so that all I want to do is be alone to avoid disappointment. I know it sounds super crazy, but it's really how I feel. Maybe as the time gets closer I start to feel more enlightened, but I doubt it...I know others shouldn't dictate how my birthday goes, and from now on they won't, but that still doesn't change my mind or attitude.
Searching for contentment at 25....
Sunday, March 28, 2010
100 reasons Why I Am Thankful
Why am I thankful?! Cause I have so much to be thankful for...for a while now I've been having some issues, big and small. I'm normally a very positive person...I try my best to look at the silver lining even when it's too small to see with the human eye (lol). And lately that has just not been my MO...not really sure why...jury's still out on that...So in order to create a more positive outlook I put myself on punishment...do nothing else until you come up with 100 things you're thankful for. Why you ask did I do this? To help me see the silver lining...some of the things on here are big...some very small...but all things that I am thankful for.
Making this list was a challenge especially since I only had a weekend. Why such a quick turnaround? Because why put off what you can do today...I needed myself to make this important like anything else I would do if I was getting paid or getting a grade for it. I needed this for my sanity to show myself even when things are bad...they aren't really that bad. I needed myself to understand that I have so much to be thankful for.
I will be honest getting to 100 was a true chore, but on any given day I'm sure there are 100 things I should be grateful for that I overlook because they are so microscopic. So without anymore extra 'words' here's my list:
1.I’m thankful for my belief in the Most High…sometimes it’s just the thought that helps
2.I’m thankful for my mom and dad and everything that have done and will continue to do for me....I love them to death!! Even when they drive me crazy.
3.Of course I’m thankful for my life partner…someone who thought I was worthy enough to be with for life. (sometimes it amazes me)
4.I’m thankful for my extended family…they also made me who I am…so they should both apologize and be thankful :)
5.I am thankful for being slightly sheltered…sheltered enough to know I'm safe, but also free enough to experience on my own
6.I am thankful for my health…I’m trying more and more every day by watching what I eat and exercising to show how thankful I am
7.I’m thankful for private school education all the way through college and being debt-free when I got out…
8.I am thankful for being well-rounded
9.I am thankful for music…Daryl Coley, Boyz II Men, Anita Baker, India.arie, Chrisette Michele, Jill Scott, Kindred the Family Soul, Musiq, Joe, Algebra, Lauryn Hill, Maxwell, Chaka Khan, Tamia, Brandy, Kelly Price, Jazmine Sullivan, Stevie Wonder, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and a ton more…
10.I’m thankful for the person I was and the person I am to become (by God’s grace)
11.I’m uber thankful for my house…I was a homeowner before 24…a feat not accomplished by most
12.I’m thankful for my job, and hopefully soon a career
13.I’m thankful for my car that I have had since sophomore year in college from my parents (told you they were a blessing)
14.I’m thankful for the blessed hope…”O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?’ – 1 Corinthians 15:55 KJV
15.I’m thankful for learning (books and common sense)…once it was a priceless gift, I try my best not to take it for grated
16.I thankful for being me…although at times it might suck…today it’s cool and that’s what matters most
17.Thankful for my amazing cooking abilities…I rock! It’s my one true talent.
18.I’m thankful sometimes for my caring spirit…although it can be taken advantage of it’s nice to know I was helpful
19.I’m thankful for friendships lost, they make me even more thankful for friendships I have, and thankful for new friendships to come
20.I’m thankful to see and hear…two things too many people wish for
21.I’m thankful to be in my right mind…I can get ‘crazy’ but I can always function
22.I’m thankful at times for twitter, but mostly thankful for the new people I’ve met they keep my laughing and keep my days less dull
23.I’m thankful for my Christian, HBCU (don’t know what this means…shame on you…) education…aka The Oakwood Experience
24.When I get it I’m thankful for peace of mind…it’s those restful moments when all is well
25.I’m thankful to be a godparent.
26.I’m thankful to be considered a friend…to some people with high standards
27.I’m thankful to be a big sister even though they try not to listen to me most times
28.I’m thankful for those that came before me and paved the path: Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Ralph David Abernathy, Ida B. Wells, Rosa Parks, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, great aunts and uncles, you get the idea
29.I’m thankful for my fence, took a year to get it and paid for it in cash…patience pays off
30.I’m thankful for patience (of the saints sometimes)…I'm thankful for it even when it is no where in sight
31.I’m thankful for fruit…my favorite kind is watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries, grapes (red and hard), bananas, nectarines, plums (I like prunes too), and apples.
32.I’m also thankful for vegetables: corn, greens, spinach, string beans, broccoli, carrots, squash, green peppers, and mushrooms.
33.I’m thankful that I don’t settle for mediocrity…cause it’s not expectable
34.I’m thankful for the story of Job, life is not always (never) fair…but praise God anyhow
35. I’m thankful for my clothes and shoes…slightly vain but I really like most of them and they make me look good ;o)
36.I’m thankful for having things to smile about
37.I’m thankful because in the grand scheme of things, stuff will work out in the end’
38.I’m thankful for true love…enough said
39.I’m thankful for loyalty
40.I’m thankful for the truth
41.I’m thankful for flowers…they add so much color to the world
42.I love water, so I’m thankful for oceans…but I slightly scared to swim in there…while the whales, sharks, fish and etc are amazing…they terrify me and I look to observe them at a distance
43.I’m thankful for my 2 dogs they remind me of how much I am not ready for children at this point…seriously people 3 years at the least…I’m in my prime :D
44.I’m thankful for common sense…it’s not as common as you think
45.I’m thankful for my ability to be insightful and observant…
46.I’m thankful for the time I got to know myself and who I truly am
47.I’m thankful for professional lessons learned…you won’t always work with people you like but you have to still get along with them
48.I’m thankful advancements in technology…of course for the obvious reasons…lol
49.I’m thankful for spring/fall weather…it makes me soooo happy….I wish it was year around weather
50.I’m thankful I made it half way through this list…100 is a lot…but even after 50 I feel so warm and fuzzy I have a ton to be thankful for.
51.I’m thankful I’ve never been homeless, without food or clothes on my back
52.I’m thankful for 25 years…almost…
53.Thankful I am able to give…blood (I’m O positive…holla at me if you are too I might need you one day) …money…time…love...encouragement
54.I am thankful for the paths I have chosen and the people I have met that have made a big deal in my life
55.I’m thankful for long hair and ponytails
56.I am thankful for restful weekends and lazy Sundays
57.I am thankful for national holidays, most times just for the break.... :)
58.I am thankful being able to smile....and being genuine most times
59.I am thankful for adversity...it's a necessary evil that I still resist
60.Sometimes I am thankful that I wear my heart my sleeve
61.I am thankful for financial stability at this point in my life and my parents who taught me how to deal with my finances.
62.I am thankful for my domestic skills...I can do it all
63.If I didn't express it enough I am thankful for my husband...he has taught me more than he knows (even when I resist it)...mostly I appreciate him for appreciating me even when I don't appreciate myself
64.I am thankful for my stubbornness...it has taught me that sometimes you have to be bullheaded to get what you want
65.I am thankful for my flat iron for obvious reasons...lol!!
66.I am thankful for food...I love to eat! #thatisall
67.I am thankful for celebrations...it means we have something to celebrate and be thankful for
68.I am thankful for those who have and always will have my back
69.I am thankful for those who love me for who I am and what I am
70.I thankful I started writing this and have gotten this far...
71.The fact that I have working organs at this moment makes me thankful.
72.I am thankful for the significant others that have entered some of my friends life..
73.I am thankful for my blinds!! It took forever to get them all
74.I thankful that sexually I took the road less traveled....
75.I am thankful for the cross...Amen
76.I thankful for a listening ear...
77.I am thankful for being able to write and let it out cause sometimes talking just doesn't cut it...Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks....
78.While sometimes I am at a lost for finding my true abilities...I am thankful for them
79.I am thankful for honesty.
80.I am thankful at times that life is continuously moving cause if not I would not move...#fact
81.I am thankful for my dining room table...ask and it shall be given
82.I am thankful for my Wii, it's kept me on my game for the most part
83.I am jumping for joy and thankfulness that I finally got most of cd collection on my computer and ipod
84.Thankful for salt and pepper for without them food would be bland...(oh and sage, lemon pepper, onion and garlic powder, blackened seasoning...you get the point)
85.Thankful for intimacy and the tender moments
86.I am thankful for face-to-face interaction
87.I am thankful for lights, so I can see (I know that was way to easy)
88.I am thankful for the Kings English, even though it is abused daily (sometimes even by me...*holds head down*)
89.Thankful for lessons learned the hard way...cause they are truly lessons learned
90.I am thankful for my diligence and self-discipline, say what you want about me but I am focused (except when my ADHD kicks in...lol!)
91.I am thankful for my grandparents and the life they lived...
92.I am thankful for my godchild and that she made it into this world safe and sound...
93.I thankful for the sunshine!!! The clouds were making my gloomy and depressed...
94.I am thankful for prevention...I'll leave it at that
95.I am thankful I am able to see when my best isn't good enough
96.I am thankful that I am not afraid to say I'm sorry (sometimes....I know)
97.I thankful the time I have, had, and will have....basically thankful for the past, present and the future
98.Thankful for Kell, Naya, Candace, and Krystle....
99.Thankful that I have things to be thankful for...
100.I am thankful I made it to 100, and that I made myself do this....to help me see what's most important...
The end with happy contentment and a fulfilling commitment...
Making this list was a challenge especially since I only had a weekend. Why such a quick turnaround? Because why put off what you can do today...I needed myself to make this important like anything else I would do if I was getting paid or getting a grade for it. I needed this for my sanity to show myself even when things are bad...they aren't really that bad. I needed myself to understand that I have so much to be thankful for.
I will be honest getting to 100 was a true chore, but on any given day I'm sure there are 100 things I should be grateful for that I overlook because they are so microscopic. So without anymore extra 'words' here's my list:
1.I’m thankful for my belief in the Most High…sometimes it’s just the thought that helps
2.I’m thankful for my mom and dad and everything that have done and will continue to do for me....I love them to death!! Even when they drive me crazy.
3.Of course I’m thankful for my life partner…someone who thought I was worthy enough to be with for life. (sometimes it amazes me)
4.I’m thankful for my extended family…they also made me who I am…so they should both apologize and be thankful :)
5.I am thankful for being slightly sheltered…sheltered enough to know I'm safe, but also free enough to experience on my own
6.I am thankful for my health…I’m trying more and more every day by watching what I eat and exercising to show how thankful I am
7.I’m thankful for private school education all the way through college and being debt-free when I got out…
8.I am thankful for being well-rounded
9.I am thankful for music…Daryl Coley, Boyz II Men, Anita Baker, India.arie, Chrisette Michele, Jill Scott, Kindred the Family Soul, Musiq, Joe, Algebra, Lauryn Hill, Maxwell, Chaka Khan, Tamia, Brandy, Kelly Price, Jazmine Sullivan, Stevie Wonder, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and a ton more…
10.I’m thankful for the person I was and the person I am to become (by God’s grace)
11.I’m uber thankful for my house…I was a homeowner before 24…a feat not accomplished by most
12.I’m thankful for my job, and hopefully soon a career
13.I’m thankful for my car that I have had since sophomore year in college from my parents (told you they were a blessing)
14.I’m thankful for the blessed hope…”O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?’ – 1 Corinthians 15:55 KJV
15.I’m thankful for learning (books and common sense)…once it was a priceless gift, I try my best not to take it for grated
16.I thankful for being me…although at times it might suck…today it’s cool and that’s what matters most
17.Thankful for my amazing cooking abilities…I rock! It’s my one true talent.
18.I’m thankful sometimes for my caring spirit…although it can be taken advantage of it’s nice to know I was helpful
19.I’m thankful for friendships lost, they make me even more thankful for friendships I have, and thankful for new friendships to come
20.I’m thankful to see and hear…two things too many people wish for
21.I’m thankful to be in my right mind…I can get ‘crazy’ but I can always function
22.I’m thankful at times for twitter, but mostly thankful for the new people I’ve met they keep my laughing and keep my days less dull
23.I’m thankful for my Christian, HBCU (don’t know what this means…shame on you…) education…aka The Oakwood Experience
24.When I get it I’m thankful for peace of mind…it’s those restful moments when all is well
25.I’m thankful to be a godparent.
26.I’m thankful to be considered a friend…to some people with high standards
27.I’m thankful to be a big sister even though they try not to listen to me most times
28.I’m thankful for those that came before me and paved the path: Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Ralph David Abernathy, Ida B. Wells, Rosa Parks, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, great aunts and uncles, you get the idea
29.I’m thankful for my fence, took a year to get it and paid for it in cash…patience pays off
30.I’m thankful for patience (of the saints sometimes)…I'm thankful for it even when it is no where in sight
31.I’m thankful for fruit…my favorite kind is watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries, grapes (red and hard), bananas, nectarines, plums (I like prunes too), and apples.
32.I’m also thankful for vegetables: corn, greens, spinach, string beans, broccoli, carrots, squash, green peppers, and mushrooms.
33.I’m thankful that I don’t settle for mediocrity…cause it’s not expectable
34.I’m thankful for the story of Job, life is not always (never) fair…but praise God anyhow
35. I’m thankful for my clothes and shoes…slightly vain but I really like most of them and they make me look good ;o)
36.I’m thankful for having things to smile about
37.I’m thankful because in the grand scheme of things, stuff will work out in the end’
38.I’m thankful for true love…enough said
39.I’m thankful for loyalty
40.I’m thankful for the truth
41.I’m thankful for flowers…they add so much color to the world
42.I love water, so I’m thankful for oceans…but I slightly scared to swim in there…while the whales, sharks, fish and etc are amazing…they terrify me and I look to observe them at a distance
43.I’m thankful for my 2 dogs they remind me of how much I am not ready for children at this point…seriously people 3 years at the least…I’m in my prime :D
44.I’m thankful for common sense…it’s not as common as you think
45.I’m thankful for my ability to be insightful and observant…
46.I’m thankful for the time I got to know myself and who I truly am
47.I’m thankful for professional lessons learned…you won’t always work with people you like but you have to still get along with them
48.I’m thankful advancements in technology…of course for the obvious reasons…lol
49.I’m thankful for spring/fall weather…it makes me soooo happy….I wish it was year around weather
50.I’m thankful I made it half way through this list…100 is a lot…but even after 50 I feel so warm and fuzzy I have a ton to be thankful for.
51.I’m thankful I’ve never been homeless, without food or clothes on my back
52.I’m thankful for 25 years…almost…
53.Thankful I am able to give…blood (I’m O positive…holla at me if you are too I might need you one day) …money…time…love...encouragement
54.I am thankful for the paths I have chosen and the people I have met that have made a big deal in my life
55.I’m thankful for long hair and ponytails
56.I am thankful for restful weekends and lazy Sundays
57.I am thankful for national holidays, most times just for the break.... :)
58.I am thankful being able to smile....and being genuine most times
59.I am thankful for adversity...it's a necessary evil that I still resist
60.Sometimes I am thankful that I wear my heart my sleeve
61.I am thankful for financial stability at this point in my life and my parents who taught me how to deal with my finances.
62.I am thankful for my domestic skills...I can do it all
63.If I didn't express it enough I am thankful for my husband...he has taught me more than he knows (even when I resist it)...mostly I appreciate him for appreciating me even when I don't appreciate myself
64.I am thankful for my stubbornness...it has taught me that sometimes you have to be bullheaded to get what you want
65.I am thankful for my flat iron for obvious reasons...lol!!
66.I am thankful for food...I love to eat! #thatisall
67.I am thankful for celebrations...it means we have something to celebrate and be thankful for
68.I am thankful for those who have and always will have my back
69.I am thankful for those who love me for who I am and what I am
70.I thankful I started writing this and have gotten this far...
71.The fact that I have working organs at this moment makes me thankful.
72.I am thankful for the significant others that have entered some of my friends life..
73.I am thankful for my blinds!! It took forever to get them all
74.I thankful that sexually I took the road less traveled....
75.I am thankful for the cross...Amen
76.I thankful for a listening ear...
77.I am thankful for being able to write and let it out cause sometimes talking just doesn't cut it...Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks....
78.While sometimes I am at a lost for finding my true abilities...I am thankful for them
79.I am thankful for honesty.
80.I am thankful at times that life is continuously moving cause if not I would not move...#fact
81.I am thankful for my dining room table...ask and it shall be given
82.I am thankful for my Wii, it's kept me on my game for the most part
83.I am jumping for joy and thankfulness that I finally got most of cd collection on my computer and ipod
84.Thankful for salt and pepper for without them food would be bland...(oh and sage, lemon pepper, onion and garlic powder, blackened seasoning...you get the point)
85.Thankful for intimacy and the tender moments
86.I am thankful for face-to-face interaction
87.I am thankful for lights, so I can see (I know that was way to easy)
88.I am thankful for the Kings English, even though it is abused daily (sometimes even by me...*holds head down*)
89.Thankful for lessons learned the hard way...cause they are truly lessons learned
90.I am thankful for my diligence and self-discipline, say what you want about me but I am focused (except when my ADHD kicks in...lol!)
91.I am thankful for my grandparents and the life they lived...
92.I am thankful for my godchild and that she made it into this world safe and sound...
93.I thankful for the sunshine!!! The clouds were making my gloomy and depressed...
94.I am thankful for prevention...I'll leave it at that
95.I am thankful I am able to see when my best isn't good enough
96.I am thankful that I am not afraid to say I'm sorry (sometimes....I know)
97.I thankful the time I have, had, and will have....basically thankful for the past, present and the future
98.Thankful for Kell, Naya, Candace, and Krystle....
99.Thankful that I have things to be thankful for...
100.I am thankful I made it to 100, and that I made myself do this....to help me see what's most important...
The end with happy contentment and a fulfilling commitment...
Friday, March 19, 2010
Creative Writing
The first poem was a free verse. "Let the chips fall where they may."
THOUGHTS
Silence…
Alone with my thoughts
Back and forth they go,
Fighting for a bit of attention
And finally they stop
….On you
Your smile, your style
You’re just being…you.
Always thought you were
The one for me
Always thought we would be
But…
Interrupted by another thought
Remember the time you…
Or do you remember…
Caught off guard again
By the thoughts of…me and you
Together…Apart…
Wait…here comes another one
Thoughts haunt me…in the silence
They torture me, repeatedly
As I close my eyes the thoughts
Become subdued…once again
It is silent…
And here I am alone with my thoughts.
The second poem was a cinquain. Based on a Langston Hughes poem. ;)
Wishing…
Love lost:
looking like new,
dressed up but feeling blue.
Wishing for a love that once was
(lovesick)?
THOUGHTS
Silence…
Alone with my thoughts
Back and forth they go,
Fighting for a bit of attention
And finally they stop
….On you
Your smile, your style
You’re just being…you.
Always thought you were
The one for me
Always thought we would be
But…
Interrupted by another thought
Remember the time you…
Or do you remember…
Caught off guard again
By the thoughts of…me and you
Together…Apart…
Wait…here comes another one
Thoughts haunt me…in the silence
They torture me, repeatedly
As I close my eyes the thoughts
Become subdued…once again
It is silent…
And here I am alone with my thoughts.
The second poem was a cinquain. Based on a Langston Hughes poem. ;)
Wishing…
Love lost:
looking like new,
dressed up but feeling blue.
Wishing for a love that once was
(lovesick)?
This is Me...
http://findingcontentment.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-am-whatever-i-say-i-am.html
http://findingcontentment.blogspot.com/2009/04/progress.html
http://findingcontentment.blogspot.com/2009/04/progress.html
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Random Thoughts
So for most of you who really know me…you know I like (LOVE) to talk and hang…and there's usually very little I hold back…well that is rapidly changing…I've gone from extrovert to introvert. Basically I feel like I am becoming cold to the idea of friends…cause I've lost my faith in most of them…*shrug*...
I'm tired of overextending myself for people who could not give a ____. (Yes I feel like that)
I feel like people are requiring too much out of me…I would much rather not talk about it…
I know I said earlier that I was going to be more honest with my friends…blah, blah, blah…and that is true (at least with the true friends I have left especially after this post) but only when my advice or opinon is solicited. The truth is people can't handle the truth and in the end they hold it against you…*shrug*…everyone does...
I have a story I am not going to tell for fear of the reprecussions but I will say this…I felt slighted and it may be me being selfish, but it's how I feel. I need to stop dismissing how I feel just because it might make someone else uncomfortable.
These days I am much happier with acquiantences than with friends because it's less emotional strain…
Also I have come to the conclusion I need some friends that do not associate with my other friends, because…well you know why… :)
Even after all this I am much happier now than I was earlier in the year. I think it's mainly because I've accepted life for what it is and what I have. The fact is it's my life and it's how I chose to live.
I'm tired of overextending myself for people who could not give a ____. (Yes I feel like that)
I feel like people are requiring too much out of me…I would much rather not talk about it…
I know I said earlier that I was going to be more honest with my friends…blah, blah, blah…and that is true (at least with the true friends I have left especially after this post) but only when my advice or opinon is solicited. The truth is people can't handle the truth and in the end they hold it against you…*shrug*…everyone does...
I have a story I am not going to tell for fear of the reprecussions but I will say this…I felt slighted and it may be me being selfish, but it's how I feel. I need to stop dismissing how I feel just because it might make someone else uncomfortable.
These days I am much happier with acquiantences than with friends because it's less emotional strain…
Also I have come to the conclusion I need some friends that do not associate with my other friends, because…well you know why… :)
Even after all this I am much happier now than I was earlier in the year. I think it's mainly because I've accepted life for what it is and what I have. The fact is it's my life and it's how I chose to live.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Maybe I Am Perfect
I am a month away from 25 and I have accomplished more than some accomplished before 35. I finished a BBA in Marketing, an Associates in Accouning, and a MBA…I been married for 1 1/2 and I own a home. I plan on waiting as long as I can and building up as much wealth as I can before I have kids…(Seriously people 3 - 5 years...maybe longer…it's not as long as it seems). Most of what I have wanted to accomplish I have…
I have both of my parents...I managed to get into a GREAT relationship without half of the BS that some people go through. (I determined early on that I would not take BS and I stuck to that even though it meant little to no dating in college…honestly even though at times I think I might have missed out in the grand scheme of things it's not worth it)…I also stuck to my vow to remain celibate until marriage (I couldn't handle the emotional strain that it puts on you I'm convinced)...I have a job (career...Jury's still out on that)…but it pays well and I live well…So from the unassuming (and maybe the assuming) eye… I'm Perfect! :)
*****************PAUSE FOR EFFECT******************
Of course I couldn't end there…I guess this is the time I would expose all my flaws that make me not perfect as people think and shock and amaze you as readers…Welp…here it goes…I am probably as straight laced as they come (kind of)…I have strayed very little from my goals and plans. Maybe I'm a prude *shrug* that's something I must face, but I'm not apologetic for it…I am what I wanted to become (sort of)...
So here's the big kicker (not really)…I'm not Perfect…not by a long stretch…as a matter of fact, perfect is relative…I did what I had to do to get the life I wanted…and frankly everyone has the same ability…I live a simple, somewhat prudish lifestyle…I could give you trite but true sayings like attitude determines altitude or happiness just like perfection is relative, decide and act…but I will say this…I am Blessed…plan and simple…and I acknowledge that daily…Perfection is in the hand's of the Creator…and my contentment lies in Him...
I have both of my parents...I managed to get into a GREAT relationship without half of the BS that some people go through. (I determined early on that I would not take BS and I stuck to that even though it meant little to no dating in college…honestly even though at times I think I might have missed out in the grand scheme of things it's not worth it)…I also stuck to my vow to remain celibate until marriage (I couldn't handle the emotional strain that it puts on you I'm convinced)...I have a job (career...Jury's still out on that)…but it pays well and I live well…So from the unassuming (and maybe the assuming) eye… I'm Perfect! :)
*****************PAUSE FOR EFFECT******************
Of course I couldn't end there…I guess this is the time I would expose all my flaws that make me not perfect as people think and shock and amaze you as readers…Welp…here it goes…I am probably as straight laced as they come (kind of)…I have strayed very little from my goals and plans. Maybe I'm a prude *shrug* that's something I must face, but I'm not apologetic for it…I am what I wanted to become (sort of)...
So here's the big kicker (not really)…I'm not Perfect…not by a long stretch…as a matter of fact, perfect is relative…I did what I had to do to get the life I wanted…and frankly everyone has the same ability…I live a simple, somewhat prudish lifestyle…I could give you trite but true sayings like attitude determines altitude or happiness just like perfection is relative, decide and act…but I will say this…I am Blessed…plan and simple…and I acknowledge that daily…Perfection is in the hand's of the Creator…and my contentment lies in Him...
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