Random Acts of Kindness

So we were in Jackson, MS for about a week. On thursday we met with a pastor (Pastor Yelorda, he just graudated from Andrews Seminary in December, Alumni of Oakwood College) to get the books for his church. This meant that I didn't have to drive all the way to Brokhaven the next day about an hour and a half drive. Okay well he also informed us that he would performing a wedding in Texas on sunday and that he could also drop off the books for his other church with us on saturday night on his way to Texas. Not only would he drop them off he was going to pick them up Monday. What a blessing! Okay so he comes by the hotel on Saturday night and drops the things off. This saved me almost 5 hours of driving (so you can see how grateful I was). Well he steps in the hotel to talk to us (about our plans for Memorial day) for about a minute and a half.

You'll never guess what happens next...

his car gets stolen.

Right right in front us (basically). Well the another pastor from Yazoo City (Pastor Johnson and hiis wife, Melissa: also Alumni of Oakwood College) come and get Pastor Yelorda. So they take him back to their house to stay with them. After that they let him use their car to go home and drive until he gets another one. What wonderful friends! The blessing is that God saw this before it was going to happen. He also saw what could have happened if the pastor had driven that night. He always has your best interest at hand. We may not always see the good but it's coming.

Well even after all this they (Pastor (Seth) Yelorda, Pastor (Juleun) Johnson, and his wife Melissa) all agree to meet us on Monday to do something for Memorial day with us. So we all (my partner, Laketia, and the other group Jen and Candace, and me of course) go out for Memorial day. This weekend might not have been all I wanted it to be but it was what it was for a reason.

Random Acts of Kindness you never know who they might affect.

The worst kind of love

I am just a little birdie sent to whisper in your ear
To tell you some things you might not want to hear
You’re losing a love that is meant just for you
Act quick or else what you once knew to be true
…will be through

In a world that is so consumed with the idea of love comes the next best thing…lust. Of course the good thing about lust is that eventually it will go away especially when all the excitement is gone. With lust comes excitement and without excitement there is no lust. Lust is unreal and untouchable; love is knowing the hardcore truth and still choosing to stay.

But the worst of love is unrequited love. Unrequited love…a love that is but can not be. You love…but that is it. Is your love in vain? Who’s to say? Unrequited love requires patience and much finesse especially if you want it to become more. This kind of love pays attention to detail when normally you could care less about it. This love is persistent; it hangs on the whims of possibilities.

You see you thing is very rarely do you find someone who will put up with your crap (and believe me, it’s crap). Someone who cares about what you do for a living or what you want to do for a living. It is rare to find someone who knows how to make you the perfect salad (olives (-/+), tomatoes (-/+), salad dressing (-/+)).

Fear of commitment holds some back but some use it as a crutch, making up excuses or playing games. The one thing that messes people is thinking that they will miss out on “the next best thing.” Waiting on the next best thing makes you miss out on the “the greatest thing.”

Don’t miss out, this could be your last chance. Because if you won’t... someone else will!

Smooches. ;-D

Where's Jailyn?

Okay kids get your map.

I'm in Jackson, Mississippi on my way to Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

See ya' soon

Time for Regret

In 1998 we moved from chicago to atlanta for my dad to take the position as treasurer at the South Atlantic Conference. Well yesterday evening the "conference officials" decided to give his position to someone else. At that moment when I heard that a wave of regret flushed over me. How could they do this to him? to us? to me? We left so much when we left Chicago, we left family (which included 2 fosters children) and friends. We sacrificed to go to atlanta. My mom had to sell her dental practice, which took her 5 years to sell. She traveled back and forth by plane and car for 5 years just because of this job. I was uprooted during the peak of my teenage years (I know I need it to sound dramatic!). For about a year I struggled with a lot of issues. Issues I thought could have been avoided if I had stayed in Chicago.

But...

Where would I be now if my dad hadn't taken the position? I don't know. What I do know is this when God is leading there is no time for regret. Many of us (inlcuding me) want the God's destination for our lives but we don't want to follow His plans to get there. This is perhaps why we sometimes fall by the wayside and have to cry out in despair for His help. It's God's destination He knows the best way there and He knows the pitfalls before and has already set provisions for you to make it through. You got to trust Him ( I am talking to myself too). Now even if you do decide to venture off on your own God's got a backup plan can still lead you to your destination. Of course the course might change and the road travelled might be different but if He is leading everything will be fine. My God is a god of plans (and backup plans and backup plans and even more backup plans).

Anyway I am not sure now what daddy is going to do perhaps pastor a church (even though I think he should find a job in the world to use his MBA and make six figures but remember kids money isn't everything). We might have to move...again. I don't know. I just prayed that our steps are ordered.

And if besides if I hadn't moved I might not have ever met such wonderful people...Melanie, Michele, Krystle, Javario, Matt and the list goes on. I wouldn't have been as outgoing as I today (moving does that to you...it forces you to get out there; It's do or die). I learned so much and I grew so much during the move. I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today. So...I guess there isn't really a time for regret when you are working within God's plans. ;-D

Living life LOUD and in COLOR

Proverbs 27:5 "An open rebuke is better than hidden love!"

Make your life STAND out!

You Shouldn't Have to Say Goodbye

I read a book in 6th grade called You Shouldn't Have to Say Goodbye and I must agree you shouldn't but the fact is that you do. When I left Huntsville at the beginning of this month I really didn't want to. I felt like I was leaving at the wrong time. I left my friends, my new nephew and a host of other "things" that I felt were important to me there (and Kell is coming back and I wanted to see her). Okay so here's the thing, God knows what is coming before I do. He can see the future and so therefore He knows where I need to be in order to make sure that I have the best. Although you shouldn't have to say goodbye sometimes it is best that you do. Goodbye isn't always permanant, when you put a period of something that does mean the story has ended or that it is over. A period starts a new sentence which can be a continuation of the last sentence or a whole new thought. It is all in the way you look at it. So God sees this summer internship as a learning experience (and guess what, I'm learning already). He has things in store for me this summer and He has placed me exactly where I need to be "for such a time as this." So I'm just going to go ahead and let God has control of all my "situations." This doesn't mean I won't get sad and depressed because I will. This just means with every period comes a continuation or something totally new. Let the story began...

Plus...you know what they (I don't know who 'they' are but when I find out...) say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"...I guess we'll see.

I love you all you guys no matter where I am.

PS Right now I'm in Columbus, MS (Deep country and I'm going deeper!)

After watching Half and Half, One on One, All of Us, Grey's Anatomy and just too much television altogether.

I truly say...


Love is a B&*$#!

Living in the Moment

I just realized tonight that too often I overanalyze things in my head. Things that are not that complicated I complicate. Too often I miss "the moment." I mean what's life without it's moments? So "the moment" has brought me here to this place at this time...enjoy. Casting all fear and doubt aside I rest in "the moment" Because who knows when it will come again?

"I'm living/ I'm able/ I'm breathing/ I'm grateful/ I'm gonna put on a happy face."

Love ya' (each and every ONE of y'all!)

Summer is here!

So today was my first day of training for my summer internship. I was a bit apprehensive at first about what exactly to expect but so far so good (of course this is only the first day). Anyway the hotel is great, the people are helpful, and my partner is nice. Summer is here and I'm finally ready.

Recent Confessions:

I was a bit apprehensive to leave Huntsville, I was strongly resisting change. But now I am learning to accept it.
I have realized I am opening up, I share more (more feelings and emotions). I may not be able to express to my FULL content but it's a start.
I am accepting life as it comes (and believe me it is coming).
I trying to be excited about the summer but...I am excited about the summer (attitude determines alitude).
The ideal is not always the real deal. (The ideal is not always the true reality. If I can stop living in my dream world long enough to see the reality of what is I might see what is right in front of me).

"God's ideal is my real(ity)" and "a word to the wise is sufficient"

This is my final answer:

I'm ready.


PS My creative writing non-fiction piece is finished (It's Fierce!): Twisted Bliss: A Love Restored

Let it Flow...Let it Go

The semester is FINALLY over!!! I am so excited. Anyway I finished all my finals on Monday and I took today to relax by going to the movies. I saw Akeelah and The Bee and Phat Girlz (this movie is not for everyone). Anyway I enjoyed myself.

So this semester in a nutshell has been crazy and very unpreditable. I think I liked it. Many trying times but they all taught me something different and I appreciate them for that. Hoping for all A's (I don't know if I really deserve them in all my classes).

I believe the summer holds big things! Last year around this time I was a bit apprehensive about my summer and it brought so many things. That has gotten me excited about this summer. This is my (our) year (that includes the summer) so I'm (we should) definitely ready. I have learned to let the things I can control flow ;-D and the things I can not control go {-_-}. Let's Go!!!

Positive People

So right now everyone is feeling the crunch of only 10 more days of school left. Attitudes are high and tension is slowing building. I am starting to realize the way I deal with stress is different than how most people deal with it. I have realized that trials and tribulations come and go but don't let them overtake you. Anything and everything will stress you out if you let it. A lot people tend to hold on to their problems and feed into them until the problem starts to grow and become bigger than it was orignially. Why not leave it in the hands of the Lord (*hint*hint*)? School will still be here and so will life. Life is too short to worry so much. And you made it too far in school to not make it now.

Perhaps this is a personal problem but right now I just feel like I don't have a lot of positive people in my life. A lot of people I hang around are beginning to (I'll just leave it blank) me. I mean they are constantly dwelling on their problems. How do you rise above if you are constantly wallowing in self-pity? "Woe is me" seems to be the theme is the day. You're living, you're in school, you're passing all your classes (and you will pass all your classes, CLAIM IT!). I realize people need encouragement but I can only help those who want to be helped. If you are fine just the way you are then I can't help you. Remember your attitude not only affects you but the people around you.You could have been someone's smile for the day but you were so busy worrying about things that usually not in your control (Just do your best and God will do the rest).

"Attitude determines altitude" You are what you think you are. ;-D

Birthdays and Gifts

So I want to first thank everyone who made my birthday great!

Next I want to say thank you to my understanding friends. When you have friends who just get you it makes life a bit easier to a handle.

Prize for person (s) to vent to: Melanie Monette, Antonaya Kelly, Lianna Wimberley

Also the top prize for the night for a gift goes to: Jacquece Moss

Prize for best "future omen" (I am claiming it girl!): Krystle Alleyne

Person (s) who remembered when I thought they would forget: Lolita Langford, Princess Jones, Michael Lumbard, Desmond and Andre Lymon (my cousins)

SURPRISE phone call from foreign country: Raquel Everett

Person who made it most memorable (God spared me!): Matthew Nicholson

Surprise dinner guest: Brandon Howard

Time spent with friends: PRICELESS

Anyway I had fun tonight despite everything (and yes I did cry). At first I must admit it was going okay, then it got bad, then worst and then GREAT! I realized that everything is what you make it. I went to the mall, then to Fridays, and then to the Jazz Factory (and the park). Most importantly I looked cute, so I couldn't let that all go to waste.

So I'm 21, old enought to drink, enter any contest I want to, and get that little under 21 bar taken from off my license. What next? I don't know but I sure looking forward to doing it at 21. ;-D

Birthday Wishes

So people have been asking me this week what I want for my birthday. Well the truth is I don't know. I have been so blessed this year and most of things I want are either intangible (some "group" or "someone") or very expensive so I have to get them myself (laptop and camcorder). I would really like to spend time with some of my friends (I was not kidding when I said that the other day). Of course I like shoes too and I would love to go shoe shopping. A nice dinner with Daquriri's included (dessert FIRST!). And for some reason I don't know why I want a dozen roses (this is a first I hate flowers because they just die). Oh and if anyone out there could get in touch with Boyz II Men (I love them) I would like them for my birthday too. Anyway I just want a wonderful birthday and my true wish will come true. I just don't know I am turning 21 what do you ask for? I have all that I truly need (of course I can always think of things that I want). But beside that God has been good and He has seen fit for me to hit another birthday and that is a granted wish all in itself.

Birthdays are the keys to life. -Jailyn ;-D

Public Announcement

So for the first time in my life I read my poems out loud in a public setting. My creative writing class had to do a poetry reading in Blake Center as part of our final. One of my poems I read in class because it was an assignment. The other one was just a random poem written by me for... Anyway hope you enjoy (if not oh...well).

The first poem was a free verse. "Let the chips fall where they may."

THOUGHTS
Silence…
Alone with my thoughts
Back and forth they go,
Fighting for a bit of attention
And finally they stop
….On you
Your smile, your style
You’re just being…you.
Always thought you were
The one for me
Always thought we would be
But…
Interrupted by another thought
Remember the time you…
Or do you remember…
Caught off guard again
By the thoughts of…me and you
Together…Apart…
Wait…here comes another one
Thoughts haunt me…in the silence
They torture me, repeatedly
As I close my eyes the thoughts
Become subdued…once again
It is silent…
And here I am alone with my thoughts.


The second poem was a cinquain.

Wishing…
Love lost:
looking like new,
dressed up but feeling blue.
Wishing for a love that once was
(lovesick)?


Anyway I just wanted to share this moment in time with everyone. Nite. Nite. :-D

Never Say Never

There are certain things in life that I am almost sure about. I will never be able to relive any years gone by or decide the sex of my child (I couldn't think of anything else for right now). These are things I am defintely sure about, of course when it comes to other things I am not as clear. There are things that I know are things that I am not likely to do but that doesn't mean I will never do them. Well to make a long blog short, recently I have realized my words have come back to haunt me. There are things I said I would never do that I am now doing. Why? Because I have changed and grown into a person that is a distant memory of my former self. I can constantly see myself improving. From junior year in high school to junior year in college. The change is definitely noticeable. I want others to see the change because it is for the better. I am slowly starting to eat the words (for lack of a better term) I once said. When you are allowing God to come in and work on you then you can never say never because it is not in God's vocabulary.

Well anyway I am tired and I will write lateer, peace. ;-)

Eyes Wide Shut

Never judge a book by its cover.

And always look deeper, things aren't always what they seem to be.

Have a WONDERFUL night.

It's a Boy!

It's a boy! 7lbs and 6oz, 20in. He has a had full of hair. He is so calm (so unlike his mother). Anyway new life, it's like a breathe of fresh air (BREATHE!).

What did I sign up for?

It's amazing that you never know exactly what your signing up for when you get a job. I mean you can always get the general description of what to expect but you never know until you start what the job exactly entails. You start and them , WHAM! they lay it on you. I guess I never knew what to expect when I became an RA. Well, I have certainly gotten my share of it. I have become a bodyguard, referee, counselor (this one I don't mind), personal secreatary and the list goes on. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I am trying to juggle school and this RA thing, it's just not cutting it. But thank God for the twins or else I would have pulled my hair out. What can I say, my cup is full (it's running over).

Anyway I won't be stressed because summer is almost here and then I'll have new headaches to work out. Just keep on keeping on.

We're almost there plus this is our year so beware good things are ahead. Keep smiling, it contagious! :-D

Forgiveness and Forgetfulness

Why is it so hard for us to forgive? Why is it even harder for us to forget? I have had to learn the hard way about forgiveness and forgetfulness. I can sometimes forgive but it is hard to forget. Why? Because we don't want the same thing to happen twice or because we have truly yet to forgive. We say that we are fine with what has happened but we keep bringing it up or we base our dealings on that certain situation. When you truly forgive you will be able to really move one. Now granted you most likely will never forget but you will certainly be able to get over it and on with it. Life is too short to hold on to grudges or petty things that you can't even remember the next day. You basically harvest all these emotions inside and they are just there being bottled up. The person is usually not worried about anything. So in short your stressed and their not. Although I have yet to fully master this technique I am working on it.

Forgive/Forget! Whatever the case maybe free your soul and mind from the stress you harbor of worrying about something that only happened to teach you a lesson. Live, learn, and forgive.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SPUDNIK (aka Matthew)! Hope its filled with joy and cheer! I am such a Hallmark card. ;-)