Inspiration at its finest...

So Christmas is over... a month of hustle and bustle for one day that ends as quick as it begins. Now don't get me wrong I love Christmas, it is the one time of the year that encourages giving more than recieving (for the most part). Well Christmas has changed for me since I have gotten older. First of all, I no longer make a list of things I "gotta have", now it is just things that I need (of course there are some wants here and there). Second, now I enjoy the things around the holidays that are more intangible (family, friends, "the small things"). Third I have a better understanding of the phrase it is better to give than to receive. I guess I am beginning to learn again the "true meaning of Christmas"( no matter how cliche it sounds).
So I am a sucker for giving gifts and this year I felt "inspired" to give picture frames with pictures in them. For me it was like giving memories in a decorative frame. Well it was a good idea at the time so I thought but my gift didn't go over to well with some people. At first I thought it was because they didn't like the gift but that was not the case. Although the picture frames and pictures were a nice gesture; everyone is not me and they might not like the reminence on the "memories" as much as I do (I love pictures and picture frames). This helped me learn when you give you have to think about the person you are giving the gift to. Since it is something that is for them it must fit their style. In the past years I have picked some gifts out and they went over very well, why? Because I catered to the needs/wants of that particular person. So what does this tell me, while it is the thought that counts, make sure you are thinking about what really counts.
Sometimes it is the small things in life that make the best gifts. Don't just limit your gift-giving to a certain day in the year, all year around is a good time. And sometimes your presence is more valuable than any present. ;-]

Home for the Holidays!

While talking to my friend for two hours I realized that Christmas is a time for friends and family. Although sometimes these are the people that annoy you the most, they are also the people who will be there for you the most. They shape and mold you into the ulimate person that you will become. So enjoy ( and cherish) them this Christmas!

Fighter for Love...(and everything else)

It has come to my attention that I am not a fighter when it comes to love (or even “like”) it seems like it is one of those impossible task that will never happen (even though I have the Ultimate Fighter on my team). It’s like I take no as the answer and go on my way but I have changed my mind when it comes to this philosophy. Just think if everyone in the world took on this philosophy when it came to love (or “like”), to just give up when they heard no. Oh what a world that would be. I think that half the time it is our own fear that keeps us from being a fighter for love (and "like"). Fear of what you might ask? Well for me (and almost everyone else), rejection. Fear that the person just might not feel the same way and we might have put ourselves out there just to get hurt or so it seems. So what’s a girl (and guy) to do? Be a fighter! Go get what you want and keep fighting until you get it. Those who take a backseat to love (or potential "love"), take a backseat to life.
So don’t be afraid to “Take it to the Head” when it comes to love (or well you know) because it is okay to want a “Strong Man (or woman)”. “And I am telling you” take on the persistent attitude, they’ll appreciate it. And if that is too much for them to handle then they’ll soon learn their lesson: “How does it feel”. I say all this to say if you are “Interested” then don’t be afraid. Just remember “Love will be Waiting at Home”.

Those who take a backseat to love (or potential "love"), take a backseat to life; you will always be watching others drive. Drivers wanted. :-D

Talent...What is yours?

A while ago I had a problem I couldn't figure out what my talents were. I mean I knew I had some but I just couldn't express exactly what they were. Well after much thought (and I guess a bit of soul searching) I am started to realize what they really were. They include writing, advicing and one of my favorites, cooking. So you can guess that tonight when I got the opportunity to cater a party for my mom I was delighted. I love to cook with a passion and I am so blessed to have the ability to do it.

Tonight's Menu:
Spinach and Artichoke dip with tortilla chips
Broccoli Quiche
Chicken Salad with assorted crackers
Fresh fruit salad
Mini cheesecakes
Little individual cakes with different fillings and toppings
Stuffed mushrooms
Apple cider
Sparkling Punch

Someday I may open a restaurant with my friend Mellena (who is going to culinary school, I am so proud). But until then... what is your talent? Think. Learn. Lead. ;-)

Oh so wise...

That I am!

"On the Real" (Honesty...the best policy)

Is honesty really the best policy? This semester has led me to believe that it is. I have always thought of myself as an honest person when it comes to things in general. Unfornately when it comes to my true feelings, being able to fully express what I need, I have not been completely honest with myself or others. I know what I want and sometimes I expect others to know what I want to but that is impossible unless I speak up. So now is the time for me to speak up because if I don't...well who knows but I just want to get this off my chest. I always thought that I could keep my feelings trapped inside and turn them on and off as I please but I have quickly learned that this is not the case. Keeping feelings bottled up inside only makes you want to explode. And even if those feelings aren't reciprocated at least you can rest easy knowing that you did your part. All I feel is regret everytime I have the chance to say (or do) something but I don't so from now on honesty will be my policy. ;-D

Here is the song to go along with this blog entry (I almost forgot about this song):
"Time" by: Musiq Soulchild
[Verse 1]I'd like to take a minute to apologizeFor not taking advantage of you
Through all the years you've passed me by
Honestly I really wanted to be mad at you, yes
For so many hours waiting, yeahI finally know what it means to be patient
And everything has its place, yeahAnd reason and I've learned that
[Chorus]Time waits for nothing
And everything is gonna take its time for it to happen
Time waits for nothing
And everything is gonna take its time
Time waits for nothing and no one
Cause everything has its time
[Verse 2]I used to think that if I tried
Then maybe I could change the things thatI regretted in my past life
But through all the lessons that you taught me
I have learned my experiences enhanced my character, yes
Now as I look back with what I know nowI can say that I wouldn't change a thing
Cause I love who I became, yeah
And when it's all said and doneI can only live for today
Cause I've learned that
[Bridge]I used to find it hard to believe
And almost impossible to conceive, yeah
Everything I do revolves around you
And knowing that, its kind crazy to me
Now if I had a dollar for every moment
That I spent watching my days go by
Doing, doing, doing nothingI probably never be penniless or hopeless.
[Verse 3]So for a while now, I've kept in mind
Cause what they say is trueThat you are of the essence
Down to the very last secondAnd I'm so glad that I've grown to
Respect you

"On the Real"

I am emotional and physical drained and very ready to go home. I like gaining all this knowledge but I need a break. Only 8 days until a little rest and relaxation. Talk about thankful. School is the least of my concern, I know the Lord will help me. But it is the other things in life that I keep dragging myself into that is taking the biggest toll on me. Well as long as God is with me who can be against me. NO ONE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLIE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST REQUEL! HAPPY BIRHDAY TO YOU!

HOW OLD ARE YOU? HOW OLD ARE YOU? HOW OLD ARE YOU? HOW OLD ARE YOU!

CUMPLEANOS FELIZ! CUMPLEANOS FELIZ! CUMPLEANOS FELIZ! CUMPLEANOS MI ENCANTA! CUMPLEANOS FELIZ! (Please excuse broken and incorrect spanish, I am a beginner)

WISH YOU ALL THE BEST GIRL!

Pondering on Love

" Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. "- Anonymous

"An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts." - John Junor

"Love is not always black and white, it is those gray areas that make all the difference." -Jailyn Stone

"We love because it's the only true adventure." - Nikki Giovanni

" We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. "- Anonymous

" You can never give too much love" -Jailyn Stone

" There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations. "- Francois de La Rouchefoucauld

"We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us." - Mme de Stael

"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it." - Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

Spread more love it is the only thing that there is just too little of. Nite.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

"Roses are read, violets are blue...Happy Thanksgiving from me to you!" -Jailyn

"We love our bread...We love our butter...but most of all we love each other. I LOVE EVERYONE. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!" -Jailyn

Calling it Quits

Does persistance pay off? And if not when do you call it quits? Can you be persistant while at the same time maintain your dignity? I am a firm believer that persistance does pay off and if not it is at least worth a try. If a person is truly worth your time, they will appreicate the effort. Does this mean we can't take no for an answer...not hardly.

Songs like "I'm gonna make you love me" or "Saving all my love for you" make us all believe sometimes that persistance does pay off. I believe that 95% of the time persistance pays off because it makes people feel like they are loved and appreciated. It makes you feel special and important. Not taking no for an answer can show your steadfastness about the siutation. I guess in a way it shows your true dedication to the person.

So, where do you draw the line? If you are consistantly trying show someone how much you care and they don't appreciate your efforts then what should you do? This when you have to make the decision of whether or not the person is worth fighting for. Another good question to ask in this situation would be, what if you are the one who has been wronged? Would you appreciate someone's persistance for you?

I guess this topic is for the birds, like they say "different strokes for different folks." It's your life and you are ultimately affected be every decision that you make. But remember "you never miss you water until you well runs dry" (because you have nothing to drink and no where to wash you clothes). Nite. ;-O

So you call yourself my friend

I have always thought that I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends that care so much about me. Everyone on this page has made realize that good friends are a hard thing to come by. I love all you guys and wish you the best.

Krystle- Gurl, what can I say you been with me all the way, even today (hay hay). I can't believe that were juniors in college (yes you are a junior). We have gone through a lot together and we're still friends (what a treat!). Thank you for always encouraging me. I believe that you will be successful in everything that you do, you have already proved that you can do that just continue and that will become standard.

Naya- We have been through it all. I would have never had so much fun if you wouldn't had been there by my side girl. I can truly this friendship is one I defintely treasure. We are the perfect pair. I know that you will always have my back (and vice versa). My childhood wouldn't have been the same without you. Never forget the Lord is on your side and so am I.

Kristyn- Where are you girl? That really doesn't matter just wanted to let you know I love you and appreciate everything you have done for me. Naya, you and I are three of kind. I miss you girl but I know that whatever you are doing you are doing wonderful.

Melanie- Thank you for always making me laugh (I guess you can say vice versa). Your friendship has truly been a blessing. You are one of a kind. Your "wisdom" truly astounds me and I am eternally greatful for it. Thank you for always being willing to lend a ear (even when you didn't want to :-o). Just keep doing what you doing.

Michele- My lil' sister, thanks for keeping the laughs coming. Good times, good times. You are a lovely young lady and well...you know the deal. Don't change unless it is extremely necessary.

Danielle- What can I say???? Oh okay I thought of something...Thank you. I know it seems as if everytime you turn aroound I am getting on you for something but it's all in love. Thank you are sharing my pain, joy, sorrow, hope and the list goes on. I believe in you and I push you because I know that you are destined to finish the race. You are a smart and beautiful young lady. Thank you for just being you because it is the best thing you can be. Always remember the Lord will "NEVER" leave you nor forsake you.

Candace- Girl, you speak the truth (no matter how hard it might be) but that is just what I need sometimes (a wake up call). I am truly amazed by you and have enjoyed getting to know you from step aerobics to accounting I and II. You are a bright and intelligent young lady that is going to soar no matter what. God Bless

Raquel- Thank you so much for the video (I loved it!!! Muy Bien Gracias). Thank you for being such a wonderful roommate and friend. I have truly enjoy your wit and advice(when it is good, just kidding) and I think that the Lord has great things in store. You are a wonderful young lady that is defintely going places. God is looking out for you. By the way I am so jealous of you right now.

Mellena- Thank you Mellena for trusting me enough to want my advice. You are so full of life and such energy I love it. I want to know that you are making me so pround (and everyone else). Keep pursuing your dreams, you are a fighter girl and that will get you far. Thank you for showing me it is okay to step out on a limb.

Deanna (Abdulla)- You are so great. If I could say only thing about you it would be don't lose you sweet spirit. A genuine person is so hard to come by nowadays but you have proven time and time again that there is always an exception to the rules. You have always amazed me with your ability to trust. I am so glad that you have that ability it is so hard for a lot of people but you have it almost done to a science. I will defintely keep your new found revelation in my prayers. The Lord and bless and keep you.

Jacquece- Thank you for your loyalty(Cunningham wouldn't be the same without you). You are a wonderful young lady whose smile has (I am sure) brighten many days for others. I love that you still believe in things that others have given up hope on. ;-) Keep that spirit that makes you so unique. And remember throwing caution to the wind can sometimes make all the difference.

Lianna- Hey girlie, thank you so much for you friendship and loyalty. Thank you for listening to my advice (Remember I am your resident counselor advisor). You are doing the most and that is really important. You reaching for the stars and you will go far. I appreciate you caring about me and my feelings. You make me feel important and smart when I talk to you. I hope that you make it to your goal, let the Lord be your guide.

Anthea- Suitemate, the one and only. Even after we lived together we are still friends that is amazing. You are one of a kind. Your friendship is a treasure. You are so crazy. I am so happy to see that you are maturing and becoming a better person (I know you can do it). You have made me realize we are all in the same boat together. Just remember to stay afloat you can't panic.

Herminque- Thank you for your cheerful demeanor it brightens my day. I am very thankful for every thing that you have given me. You are a very determined young lady who has set a path and is destined to follow it. If you remember to keep God first that and other things are very possible.

Matthew- You have esteemed privilege to be the only guy to get a shout-out on my friend page. You have taught me so much about myself and for that I am truly thankful (a lot of times you do it by playing me but that is okay :-). You are an intelligent and handsome young man, you are going to take the world by storm (I have faith in you). The Lord is watching out for you and He has your best interest at heart.

The Texas girls- It has finally come a year when we are not stationed around or even next to each other. What has the world come to? Thank you for your all friendships. Much love to you guys.

Nicki- Hey girl, You know I wouldn't forget about you. I am very glad that you consider me your friend. I am so sad that we are so far away from each other now. But aside from that we have class so see you there! Keep that cheerful and happy demeanor it will get you far and it confuses people. God Bless!

Darn my curiosity...Because it killed the cat

Then again the cat was already dead so maybe it didn't do that much damage. My curiosity always seems to get the best of me. I mean leave me in a room long enough with a closed door and it just might get opened. Of course that doesn't mean I don't where to draw the line;though I am sort of a scaredy cat too. Oh well, what the heck...I guess that's what life's is all about.

Taking my Own Advice

It's very funny how I can help others and tell them what they need to do but when it comes to taking my own advice... That's a different story. It seems really easy to give advice but unfortunately just hard to take it. I guess sometimes to avoid the problems I'm having, stepping outside of my issues to help someone else can sometimes help me better understand exactly what I need to do. It's like entering the tunnel and not knowing how far you have to go but being able to see the light.

The more I realize this the more it makes me see my wall breaking down, I am becoming more and more open. I am like an open book and people are starting to read me (I can't decide whether that is good or bad). It's almost like I am making my own self vulnerable. I have always felt like I could make decisions without getting emotions involved. I have always thought that they best way to get rid of a bad habit is just to quit cold turkey. I have even thought that by avoiding things or certain issues they would go away. Yeah right, if only things were that easy.

It seems to me the Lord speaks the loudest to me in my silence. And when He can't get me to sit down and shut up He speaks to me when I try to help others (through me own words, what a way to get my attention).

I have realized that through this transformation I am sometimes able to see things better. My outlook on several things have changed. I feel like I have a new leash on life (maybe it's got a new leash on me). Whatever the case I have realized the things that seem to be the hardest that don't come easily are the things that I tend to appreciate more.

Searching for More

Have you ever met or are you someone who is always looking for more? Nothing ever seems to be good enough. Always looking for the next best thing. And where has this gotten you? Most times not very far. Many times people search for things that are right under their noses. You(and I) don't take the time to see what is right in front of you. Busy looking so far in the future that you miss what is here in the present. I have learned you have to live for the present or else life will pass you by. A famous quote by John Lennon "Life happens while your busy making plans." This passage is so true in many ways. Life is not an easy thing to plan but yet we put so much time and effort planning it. Why? Because that is human nature, plan or get screwed. Well, then how can you truly grab life by the horns? Holding on to the past so tight that you can't grasp the future is another way of searching for more. Your past will affect your future but it's up to you to determine how and how much. You can only beat a dead mule for so long (it's dead get the hint!). You are your greatest enemy sometimes. You can sometimes hinder yourself from getting the things that you truly want and deserve. By thinking that you can do it all on your own is a big mistake (that's what He is there for). Live, screw up, learn, and then do it all again. ;-) Knowledge is Power.

Mirror, Mirror

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" I have realized the more and more I look in the mirror that I have to be content with myself. Others have their opinions but that is all they have. They don't have a say in what I become. The older I become the more I realize the easier it is to accept certain things. It is easier to accept things about yourself you can't necessarily change (especially temporary things). It is also easier to accept things that happen to you. You start to realize the lessons that life has for you sooner rather than later. You also realize what is really important to you. I also know that they are things in life that do not get easier with just living. Things like death, a broken heart, having to say goodbye. Sometimes these things can even get harder but I guess it helps you grow as a person. I guess getting older is a bad thing after all. The older you get, the wiser you get (at least in most cases). Also the older you get the more you realize who you really are. Nite, nite don't let the bed bugs bite. ;-)

"On the Real" My Favorite Pastimes

I love to read, it is my favorite pastime. Reading gives me the chance to take a break from reality. While reading I am in another world and I feel apart of that world. Of course will my hectic school schedule I don't always get the time to read like I want. However I have found a new pastime, writing. It is almost as good as reading (it is probably better). It gives you the chance to have control over a situation. It's like your own little world, you are the ultimate decider of what happens. Writing gives some (like me) the opportunity to express what I would not necessary say out loud. I just completed another short story. I wrote my first short story in 8th or 9th grade. I have also written a number of poems and essays. I am currently working on another short story and an assortment of other literary works. There is one particular one I am very proud of it has given me the chance to truly express myself. As I go back and read some of the things I write I am often encouraged. As a matter-of-fact I read something in one of my books to two of my friends and it shocked me at how they recieved it. Anyway back to my schoolwork until next time.

This is for you, You know who you are

To (Well you know) ,

What have you done to me?
You made me put pride aside.
I have realized that I must take the first step and make the first stride.
Opening up to you was the first step, surrendering to you came next.
Open... laying it out on the table, making myself readily available.
Open... to you and everything you were ready to give, you taught me a new way to live.
My emotions seem to run wild around you.
You make even old things brand new.
You help me see that you gain more open then you do close,
you made me realize with you anything goes.
With you I have so much to gain,
compared to you all other things seem vain.
I hid no longer behind my feelings.
Scared of exactly what the future holds.
I understand that for you I must break all molds.
Fear of rejection no longer hinders me.
I know exactly what is important to me.
Ready to explore and sieze the day,
ready to put myself out there and say all that I have to say.
Words will never fully express the way I feel inside my chest
but I will try to do my best.
Please don't give up on me, you see what others fail to see.
You know what others will never know.
You'll always and forever be the greatest gift given to me.


Love Always,
Jailyn

"Not Your Average Girl from the Video..."

"Not Your Average Girl from the Video..." this is part of the chorus to India.arie's song "Video." This and other empowering songs encourage women to embrace who they are and basically screw everyone who doesn't feel the same way. Of course it should not take a song to empower you to do this but every little thing helps. It is kind of ironic I would hear this song on the radio after dicussing some superifical issues with a friend. She was feeling a bit uneasy about approaching a guy because of the way she looks or acts (or doesn't look or act). This made me realize that maybe it's me but it seems as if sometimes women put out more and get less. Why is this? I mean it isn't enought that a girl is intelliegent, witty, has a wonderful personality, and can engage in delightful conversations with you. On top of all that she has to look like a supermodel (or something close to it). We [women] are consistently comparing ourselves to other women for a chance with a guy who wouldn't change if we paid him to. Why? Becuase we want to see what makes her "better than me" and we want him to "desire us." I mean I can't blame it all on men but sometimes some of them can play the devil's advocate. Women tend to be more accepting to men when it comes to a lot of things so why are men not equally as accepting? I don't know the answer but I do know we are all beautiful in our own way and if he can't accept that then he needs to "hit the road."

Well I gotta go (just had to vent for a minute). Nite, nite don't let the bed bugs bite. ;-)

Pride goes before the Fall

Have you ever learned a lesson for the second time and still failed? I finally found what I thought was a lesson in a experience I was in. After finding the lesson I was pretty proud of myself. I even told some of my friends about the lesson I had finally found in the experience. You see at first the lesson was hard to find but then it just kind of snuck up on me.
I am always try to find the lesson in any challenges that I face. Unfortunately in this situation I couldn't find the lesson so I decided that there was no lesson. But the other day it hit me like a pile of bricks and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Feeling rather self-confident I started to share my lesson with others thinking that it was the end of the experience and the end of my lesson it had taught me. This was so not the case, just two days later after my new found revelation I was tested. I was tested to see if I had really learned my lesson and I hadn't. My pride was crushed I felt the weight of all those bricks back on my shoulders. This taught me another very important lesson that I have had to learn over and over again "pride goes before the fall." Remember there is a lesson for every situation but there is also a test. Study hard. ;-D

Hi Raquel

Hola Raquel,

I am writing this just for you. I don't have a lot of time because it is very late and my eyes are slowly closing. But I just wanted you to know I will start back writing on this blog just for you to let you know what is going on in my life. So far everything is okay, I will expound later. But until then keep God first and me next (j/k). Have a good nite girl. Adios!

"On the Real"

Okay so everything is pretty cool except the fact that I have major work to do. I mean I have assignments on top of assignments. When I look at what I have to do it seems almost virtually impossible. But after prioritizing I find that things get done, not only get done but sometimes get done faster. Anyway I am super tired and if I want at least 5 good hours I got to get to bed now. C'ya, nite nite ;-0

Why Me?

To many times I have asked myself why me. And maybe at the time it seemed justified but lately I have realized maybe I should be asking why not me. Or am I so ahead of the game I don't need the lessons that trails and tribulations bring? I mean am I to good to endure all the things others go through. It seems the more I endure the better I am when it comes to helping others in similar situations. So why not me? Some of the very the things that I thought I would never make it through have made me glad it was me. I am a stronger and better person because of it. I know it doesn't seem like anything good will come out of certain situations but you just have to search for the lesson. If it seems hard to find it at first don't worry soon it will appear and you'll be glad you made it through.

Blessings for the Week (Glad it was Me):
*found my cell phone :) :)
*bridled my tongue :) :) :)
*got my SLUSHIE! :) :) :) :)

My Theme Song

I have always had sort of a theme song for my life at certain times. And the one that I have chosen now is New Attitude by Patti LaBelle. It describes, well, my attitude.

I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view I got a new attitude Runnin' hot, runnin' cold
I was runnin' into overload It was extreme, ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-extreme
It took it so high, so low So low, there was nowhere to go Like a dream
Somehow the wires uncrossed, the tables were turned
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn
I'm in control, my worries are few 'Cause I've got love like I never knew Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
I got a new attitude I'm wearing a new dress (New), new hair (New)Brand new ideas, as a matter of fact I've changed for good It must have been the cool night, new moon, new slight change???More than to figure??? but I feel like I should, yes
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oohI got a new attitude Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Okay well you get the point. I have to change my attitude as time changes. Adaptation. (Another song that also describes my current state is Video by India.arie). ;-)

Taking Steps, Making Strides

In my World Literature class we always start off class with a devotion. Well devotion today was about taking steps in life. The devotion stated that a small step for one person might be a bigger step for someone else. So this got me to thinking about the steps, and strides, I am making in my life.
I took a step out on faith late last school year and rekindled some old friendships. To someone this might have not been that deep but to me it was. I place a high value on friendships. And I hate to be betrayed to let down by my "friends." I don't just call anyone my friend. So the fact that we "had been" friends and some how had fallen off; now were friends again, that is a big step to me (and vice versa :D).
Then at the beginning of the summer I started an internship. My first "real" job, which consumed most my time this summer. Once again a big step for me maybe not for someone else but you get the idea. I suddenly was required to pay for everything I wanted and needed. This was a very unique experience that I am happy I had the privilege to engage in.
Let me not even start about the steps I have been taking since the beginning of the school year because I would we could be here for a while. Let's just say with all the strides I have been making since August alone I could be half way around the world by now. So whether your "taking steps or making strides" just make sure your moving. Peace and love. ;-)

The Value of Friendship

How much does friendship cost? If you could put a value on friendship what would it be? To me friendship is way beyond bargaining. Friendships should be like wine, they should get better with time. Friends are the people who see you at your worst and still choose to be to hang around you. When you hurt they want to ease your pain, they just call to say hi, and you can call them up for no reason and stay on the phone for hours.
Of course the same way you work at everything else you should work on your friendships. You should always be seeking to improve yourself and the friendship in anyway. There are friendships I know I couldn’t live without (well, I probably could but I wouldn’t want to). Why? Because they have had so much influence in my life; they in a way have made me who I am.
But what happens when a friendship dissipates? Should you try to rekindle the friendship you once knew? Or just let bygones be bygones? In a situation like this you should think about how important that person is to you. I know from personal experience it took to long to start some of my friendships to just let them go to waste. I had to learn to be vulnerable and I learned it the hard way. As humans we never want to be the first to admit to being wrong. But we have to look at ourselves first and assess the situation from there. You never solve anything by blaming each other. Just remember to be the friend you would want.
"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." Can we all just be friends. ;-)

One Wedding and a funeral

In less than a week I attended a wedding and a funeral. The thing that I realized at both was people's abilities to bring out the best in both situations. Of course a wedding is a seeminly joyous occasion and it is not as hard to bring out the best in that situation. At a funeral it might be a bit harder. But I have noticed that people have the abiltity to bring out the best of a person's life at his/her funeral. As I sat at this funeral on Friday and listened to all the wonderful things people said about this person I began to think, what will people say at my funeral? Better yet what are they saying now, even while I am alive? What influence have I had on people? Have I evolved over the course of my life? Have I changed for the better? Am I trying to get better by God's grace? I sure do hope so. And I hope people see it. Today someone told me that I looked happier and more content. That made me feel like all my learning this summer and earlier this school year was not in vain. And I hope to continue to grow and become the person the Lord will have me to be. ;-)

Broken Scale

How do you weigh out the balance of life on a broken scale?

I was once told a story about a lady who had no food for her or her family to eat and only $20. She was a Christian and decided to step out on faith and go to the grocery store to see if she could all the food she needed for just $20. She gathered all she needed and prceded to the line. When she reached the front she started to put all her food items on the scale. The scale started to increase, strangely enough with all the lady's food items the scale never passed $20. She quickly paid and left thanking the Lord for the blessing He had given her. The clerk at the grocery store later found out that the scale was broken.

Had this lady not stepped out on faith she would have never recieved her blessing. The next time you decide to start weighing out life make sure that your scale is not broken. ;-)

Life Lesson #156322

Marriage or the thought of it used to never bother me, until I realized how quickly the years are passing by. I guess I have always thought of it in the back of my mind. But never has it been this close. I attended a wedding yesterday and the guy who got married is 2 years older than me. Two years when you think about it that is not a very long time.
Of course, I don't want to rush into anything just because I feel like I am trying to beat the clock. I stopped trying to figure out a while ago why the Lord hasn't blessed me with the "man of my dreams" and decided to just be patient. But ever so often my patience wears off. Maybe he is around me, the thought that scares me the most is that he could be right under my nose and I am just overlooking him (vice versa).
I guess it goes a little like this: "At 16 it was easy to decide who I would marry. At 17 it was easy to decide who I definitely wouldn’t marry. At 18 was easy to decide that I just wouldn’t get married. At 19 was easy to decide to reverse my former decision. At 20 I have decided that I am not at liberty to make any kind of marriage decisions."
Patience is a virtue and I am a virtuous woman. So while the Lord works on me and the "man of my dreams." I just continue to wait. Wait for what? Wait for the man who gives me butterflies when his name just shows up on my caller id. The man whose smile seems like it's just for me. The man whom I accept with his flaws and still want to be with him (vice versa). The man whose touch can melt away all my anger or hurt (even if he was the one who imposed it on me in the first place). The man who realizes what he has found is a rare gift from God and will take advantage of it the moment he gets a chance (vice versa). That is the man I am looking for (others need not apply).

Recap

So after reading my past blog posts I am compelled to write. This summer I was so on top of my game. I was filled with such passion such emotion this summer. I knew exactly who I was and where I was going. What happened? It's like I hit school and life began to get that more complicated. Why? Because I allowed it. I stopped thinking about myself. Not to be vain but sometimes we can get so lost helping others that we forget about ourselves. So here's to me.

What keep's on popping up in my head is what am I worth? I mean not literally what am I worth but what do I have to offer as a friend or something more? More than I realize. You know it takes someone taking you for granted sometimes before you realize how much you are worth.

Think of yourself as a 10 and you'll become a ten. And most importantly be the friend you want to have.

Question to ponder: How long do you have to go in circles before you get the picture? ':-)

Goodbye Summer, Hello School year

Well the summer has finally come to a screeching halt. I am faced with the reality of a new school year and all the challenges to come. While this may seem like the end of the fun as we know I see it as an extension of the excitement yet to come. Throughout this summer I have gained lessons, friends, and experiences that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I had the opportunity to have an internship with Target (and get a small discount). I met a lot of people and learned a lot of new things that I will use in the new future. I also opened the door to a new and exciting career path. I had the opportunity to rekindle an old friendship. Friendships are like wine they get better with age. You see you never know how important someone is to you until they come back into your life. Sometimes people are only there for a season (a certain period in time) but sometimes they are moved out prematurely. Whatever the case maybe cherish well they're there. I have been so blessed to have had these experiences and many more. With the summer came many possibilities and with the school year will come the same. Good Luck. ;-)

No Regrets

No regrets. Look for my book coming soon. :=)

Wishful Thinking

Okay so I am not the best person when it comes to expressing my feelings but this morning I will try because I have a lot on my mind. I have so many unanswered questions. Have you ever wondered if you would have said more or exposed more would it have been different? I mean if you would have been honest with yourself and everyone else (especially well you know), would that change things? Well that same thought keeps going through my head. I guess what I am trying to say is that being vulnerable for me is very difficult but it doesn't mean I can't be. I guess I have taken so much time protecting myself from getting hurt in relationships that it gets hard for me to let others in. I mean what can I say to express how I truly feel. I always thought and hoped that my actions would speak louder than my words but I guess they don't. I just want to know by saying nothing is everything my fault? Or is it just the opposite? A couple days ago I thought I put myself out there but the more I thought of it, the more I realized I didn't and that could have cost me something I wanted. Time waits for no one including me, although I know this I still continue to play with it. I allow others to make decisions for me instead of saying what I really want to say. But I keeping wondering yet and still would that have made a difference or it all out of my hands? I guess that would mean that I would have to step outside of my box and that scares me. If I had a chance I would defintely do things differently. Unfortunately for me it is to late now but for those of you who have the chance make sure you say how you feel when you feel that way. Don't let anything get in the way of saying how you really feel. You might get hurt sometimes but in the long run you'll be glad you did. ;)

Dynamic Forgiveness

So today at church the pastor talked about Dynamic Forgiveness. One thing that got me is that he said we can't just forgive the person in our heart (of course that is a start) we have to physically tell them if it is possible. Anyway that whole sermon moved me.

Then when I was checking one of my old e-mail addresses I found this. It moved me because I found myself dealing with several of these situations. So here it is:

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't? Or Saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...If you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own...When you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...For fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.
* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
*What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?
*You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will.

Okay so I know this was long but it says almost everything on my heart I just had to include it. If you are my friend know that I love you and always will. Remember just because love is blind you don't have to be. ;')

Today is a Good Day

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and today is going to be a good day. I feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the day. I woke up this morning a bit puzzled but then looked out the window and felt the sun shine down onme and realized everything is going to be okay. So today WILL be a good day. I am going to go to work then I am going to get some curtains and well then I'll see what else the day has in store for me. Life, Sunshine, and a Happy Heart. The simple things in life, those are the things I want: the sunshine, a day to sleep in, good friends, a good sale, being able to help someone, finding a good outfit in a short period of time, a cute pair of shoes, feeling appreciated/accepted for what and who you are, good music, family, and all the things that just make me smile. ;-)

Okay, so why is this so hard?

I keep asking myself why is this so hard?
Maybe it's because of the new terrain
Or maybe it's because it (or maybe you) drive(s) me insane
(I know you liked how that rhymed)
You see this has never been easy for me
And I guess I shouldn't except it to be
I know I said this is like two roads diverged
But it is more like a new beginning
(Confusion and hesitation is a dangerous thing)
It seems like every time I begin to write down what I really feel
I feel I might regret what I reveal
You don't know how scary this is for me
Letting others in to see what I see (there goes the a whole row of bricks)
I keep on telling myself not to reveal to much to soon
I hope this helps your attempt to break down my "brick" wall
I keep thinking when have I said to much, when do I stop, where do I draw the line?
Well I think now is the time
So C'ya -Jailyn ;-)

The words to a song that go along with this literary work are at http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/India-Arie/Interested.html, Interested by India.arie

PS I am CPR and First Aid Certified (Hooray!) And Matthew whatever your ready you can meet me on the tennis court for your "lesson."

"The Road Not Taken"

One of my favorite poems is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. For those of you not familiar with this poem you can read it at http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html. Frost is stuck in a dilemma because he must choose the path best for him. Both of the roads look just about the same except for the fact that one is more worn than the other. This tells Frost that one was more traveled than the other. After weighing his options Frost chooses the one less traveled and says "and that has made all the difference." Why did Frost chose the path less traveled? I mean maybe the path traveled by many could have has the same effect on his life. Why is he sorry he could not travel both? Why does he say it with a sigh?

My friend asked me the "million dollar question" today. She asked me a question everyone had just been assuming the answer to. After she asked the question I realized I was in the same dilemma Frost was in, in his poem. I am at the division of two roads. I have already traveled one and the other I have not. I am not sure if I want to travel the same road again for fear that it might lead me back to the same place. So then it would seem simple then, chose the one you never traveled before. But what if the one I am familiar with has taken on new scenery and a surprising twist? Maybe when I traveled the road the first time I was not adequately prepared? The other road I have not traveled presents itself with new opportunities but I only be taking it to get away from the first road. What if they both lead to the same destiny ?

Whatever road I chose I'll make sure that will make all the difference. ;-)

Likes and Dislikes about myself

In 7th grade during my creative writing class my teacher asked us to write about likes and dislikes about ourselves. Well of course in 7th grade this what I had to say:

"I for the most part like everything about myself. I dislike my hair and my feet. My feet are to big and my hair is to short. I really like my personality and state of mind. I like my personality because I try to be kind whenever I can. My state of mind is trying to always be in a pleasant yet funny state of mind so that I won't get bored but have things I to laugh about. God didn't make me perfect, but I'm satisfied."

Please excuse the grammatical errors. But other than that I thought it was summed up in the end pretty well. If only that were true today. I mean how often are we trying to change something about ourselves and others? Reading this made me think if now all I was worried about was short hair and big feet I would be ecstatic. But even though I have a lot more to worry about, I can still find contentment in my life right now. And that is why I am still not perfect but satisfied. ;-0

To my "Brothas"

This song is by Angie Stone. It expresses how important the black male is to society and its female counterparts. I love it because it reaches to the very essence of the black male. ;-D

(Verse 1)He is my King, He is my one
Yes he's my father, Yes he's my son
I can talk to him, cuz he understands everything I go through and everything I am
He's my support system, I can't live without him
The best thing since sliced bread, Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch
And I just want the whole world to know, about my..

(Chorus)Black Brotha, I love ya, I will never - try to hurt ya I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true cuz youre my Black Brotha, strong brotha, there is no - one above ya I want ya, to know that, I'm here for you - forever true

(Verse 2)He's misunderstood, some say that he's up to no good around the neighborhood
But fo' your information - a lot of my brothers got education (now check it)
You got ya wallstreet brotha, ya blue collar brotha,
Your down for whatever chillin on the corner brother
A talented brotha, and to everyone of yall behind barsYou know that Angie loves ya

(Bridge)You mean so much to me, you give me what I need, I'm so proud of you (I said I'm so proud of you)I love you for stayin strong, you got it goin on I'm so proud of you
Going through thick and thin, brothas you gonna win I'm so proud of you
Whenever you facin doubt, brothas gon work it out I'm so proud of you (I got unshakable faith in ya)

"On the real" #6

Okay so I am less than a week away from starting school. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. On one hand I am ready to see my friends and be able to hang out with them and on the other hand I am not ready for the burden of classes again (you know studying and tests). But life goes on and so I have to follow it.

My relationships this summer have really blossomed. I have also learned new things about myself through others people perspectives (Thanks, you know who you are). I have also learned a lot of life lessons this summer. This summer has made me more aggressive a far as my approach to certain things. And also more appreciative of things (mostly intangible) I have.

All in all the summer has been pretty productive and hopefully the school year will bring the same possibilities. :-P

F.A.T. Chance

For those you who are movie buffs and big Mo'Nique fans I am sure you have seen her new reality show. This show was meant to represent the Fabulous And Thick (F.A.T.) ladies of the nation. This show made me realize that there are really people who struggle with their weight in every aspect of their life. They can allow their weight to hinder them from doing things that only "skinny people" can do ( a lot of the women on the show dispelled that issue very quickly).

In the show Mo'Nique stated that the average American women is a size 14 but the average supermodel is usually about a size 4 or less. Why? Stores like Express and The Limited only carry sizes 12 and smaller. Why? I would like to blame all the insecurities of these plus size women on the media and what they portray on television/movies but that would not be right. You see that may be a large part of it but it goes deeper than that. It is a vicious ongoing cycle that has spiraled out of control.

In America's Next Top Model, a model by the name of Toccara (now on Celebrity Fit Club 2) was the first plus size model one the show. She gave the other smaller framed women a run for their money. She allowed herself to break beyond the stereotypical barrier and venture out into the open. She might have not become America's Next Top Model but she made one giant step for the "real women" all over the world.

Until women like Mo'Nique and Toccara came along these women were lost but now they see they can have a voice and shake what there mama gave them (even if it is a bit extra). I mean why not, they are not invisible so they might as well make it work for the best.
"If you can't love yourself it is going to be hard for someone else to." -Jailyn :-D

Instant Gratification or Delayed Reaction

I am some one who likes things to happen now. This can really be a challenge when it comes to having patience. I have learned though to channel that need for instant gratification into a learning experience. I have learned that things don't always work in your favor and the best things in life are sometimes the things that are the hardest to obtain. I have learned that waiting sometimes makes the victory just a bit sweeter. There is a time and place for everything and that has been a lesson I have had to learn over and over again.

Instant gratification can sometimes also play into my imagination. I have the tendency to sometimes let my imagination get the best of me. To some people this may not seem like a big issue but in my case it is. You see when that happens I can sometimes throw cautiousness to the wind. This allows my emotions to come in and engulf what sense of reason I might have. It makes it hard for me to make a rational decision because there is so much emotion involved.

This is when delayed reaction is needed. This is when I remind myself of the consequences or cost of jumping ahead of the gun. Most times that is enough to get me back on track but there are times when that doesn't even tip the bucket. Sometimes that is just the push I need to keep me on track and remind me that life doesn't wait for me. It helps me realize that instant gratification and delayed reactions mean nothing if you have done nothing.

Throwing caution to the wind and allowing your heart to lead may not always put you in a comfortable position but it gives you a heck of a thrill on the roller coaster of life. 8-)

Rising to the Occasion

Should I have to lower my standards to because I can find anyone on my level? There are so many people who do this just because they have this fear of being alone. Or they think there standards are to high. Whose to say my standards are to high? Does this mean settling because I have to and not because I want to? What's the point? Who is really losing? I am.

I have reached a new plateau in my life, where I just can't be bother with those who don't have my best interest at hand (or for that matter their best interest at hand). I don't mean to sound "uppity" but I mean who wants to settle for something they might not even like enough to keep? I know exactly what I'm worth and others should too (and they should respect me enough to try to keep within those standards).

I have taken the time to be all that I can be as person, why can't I ask for the same out of someone else? If I'm going to have to spend my time and energy with that person, I should be able to at least get what I want. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that I follow my list to a T. What I am saying is I realize what I can get and I go after it. And if I had a ten once I can have a ten again. I don't settle for an eight just because I think that's all I can get. Or that is all that is available right now.

Remember you set the standard(s) to be reached, never settle because you are only cheating yourself. ;-3

"My Heart Rest in Sorrow"

This is a poem I wrote September 23, 2001. I think that it is one of my best works. I wrote it while closing a chapter in the book of my life. So here it goes:

My Heart Rest in Sorrow

To hear the things I wanted to hear

To see the things I wanted to see

To know the things I wanted to know

My heart rest in sorrow

To give the things so precious to me

To take the things rightfully mine

To let you hold to let you borrow

My heart rest in sorrow

To see things in a new light

To feel the things never felt before

To be able to live differently tomorrow

My heart rest in sorrow

I am a poet and I know it! :-P

Dreams: The Key to your Heart

When you go to sleep at night your mind tends to wonder. Often before you drift into a full sleep your thoughts can tend to drift across the day. Well I was just thinking the other day about how powerful and meaningful dreams can be. I mean when I go to sleep everything is out of my hands. Sometimes I have these dreams that are so far fetched, I wonder where my mind is or was. Just think the things that you have your dreams about have to be somehere in the back of your mind. Some of the very things that I have wanted have come to life through my dreams. Sometimes I wish I could live in my dreams I guess the only problem would be that I would never be able to get out and then it would mean that my dreams are reality and then what would reality be, a dream? (ha ha, I am so deep). But anyway this subject sparked my interest the other day when I had a dream. The dream sparked my interest because of what it was about. In the dream things were said that I never really thought were that important at all, but then all of a sudden it seemed real important. A lot of things about you can come out in your dreams. Your dreams can sometimes even predict your daily mood. Just think about the last time you had a good dream you woke up happy. And what about those dreams that you know were important but you can't seem to remember them. Those dreams are probably things that could happen but you don't need to know about just yet. They are like a preview of what is to come. There are good and bad things about dreams like: they don't always come, you can wake up before they finish, sometimes they do come true, and sometimes they can expose your true feelings. Whatever the case may be sleep just wouldn't be as sweet without dreams. Sweet Dreams. ;-]

Only Time Will Tell

You know time has a funny way of telling everything you wanted to keep a secret. I mean eventually it will make you come clean or it will do it for you. But in spite all of that time is one of the most important if not the most important thing in this world. Timing is everything. Timing is your rest, it dictates what time you go to bed and even get up. Timing is your job, it tells you when to be at work and when you are relieved from work (and for you workacoholics, when your "suppose" to leave work). Timing is your love life, when is the right time to make up or break up. It's all in timing I guess when it boils down to it, without time would be lost.

BTW: Tommorrow is the last day of my internship. Yahoo! :-)

My Philosophy of Life

This is a paper I wrote in 12th grade as an assignment for one of my classes. It was almost like a final. Here is goes:

My philosophy of Life

First I must ask myself, what is a philosophy? When I looked it up there seems to be a lot of answers to this question but one stuck out. It said a basic theory concerning a subject. Knowing the definition of philosophy there is not way I can just tell you in one sentence exactly what it is, so here it goes. The most important above all is to love God, your family, and close friends they are the only thing in life that is almost guaranteed to stay the same (there are some exceptions). If you love you neighbor, you will go far. Tell someone everyday that you appreciated what he or she did. Make someone smile everyday even if it is not you. Do something good for yourself everyday. Live, love, and then share the wisdom you learned in both. Learn something new everyday, even if it is about yourself. Cherish those around you. This world is a big bag of skittles so get to tasting it. Never let anyone make you fell as though you don't belong. Always be on alert of those with a negative attitude. Don't let your feelings get the best you. Even though love is blind you don't have to be. Cherish every person that ever enters your life. Pray everyday for those who are less fortunate. Get a vivid understanding of love, lust, and infatuation. Just because this is a sinful world doesn't mean you have to sin. Only you know the true meaning of your life, it is you responsibility to show everyone else. Beware of back stabbers, everyone is not your friend. Be willing to share leadership, you don't have always have to be the chief. Take sometime and just learn that will lift your spirit it will make you feel ten times better. Sometimes at night take some time to drive slow and look at the lights it will make you feel like a child again. Some people are worried about what bad is coming next, instead worry about what good is coming next, it makes life easier to bear. -Jailyn Stone, May 2003

Half empty or half full?

I just received a long but rather humorous e-mail from my roommate. This e-mail made me laugh so hard and think equally as hard. She included in her "lengthy" e-mail a variety of things that one might think about day-to-day or just occasionally. She went from college memories to relationships to friendships to spirituality to well you get it. It just got me thinking about my college experience being half way over. Of course I am looking at the glass as half full; so I will be making the most of my next two years (or so, hopefully not but we'll see). It made me think about must I am going to miss my friends when I leave (like I do during the summer). But how much fun it will be to meet up ever so often on a beach somewhere just to get away (this means we all need great jobs). This got me to thinking I will be facing the workforce. But I will be able to buy whatever I need and some things that I want (my condo on Lake Michigan nicely furnished and a nice Camry). It made me realize relationships will bring with them a new challenge. In college you don't necessarily have to like everyone in your dorm or class but at work you can't always avoid people like you used to. You have to be a mature adult and put other feelings aside (but don't be afraid to be honest). Also romantic relationships will be different. I mean if you are blessed to find the one and get married, you will have to adjust to each other's living style (and I thought having a roommate was hard, you have to share a bed with this "roommate"). And for those of you who willingly or unwillingly (do to circumstances beyond your control) single and still chose to search; beware of the people out there. I chose to look at these things from the positive side because there is already enough to discourage me, why add on more? But the most important thing is living for each day, so that is why I going to get the bed to get ready for work tomorrow. :-*

"On the Real" # 5

Everything is on the up and up here. Nothing much to cover. I am about finish my 10 week internship, it is a interesting ride. I am so tired I will talk more later. "Keep jokes alive. Bye :)

"Let it Flow"

The song "Let it Flow" by Toni Braxton has taken on a whole new meaning to me. I mean it explains the state that I am in right now. Letting it go and just letting it flow. It may seem to some that I have given up. This is not necessarily the case, I realize that things don't always happen on my watch. I wish so often that they could but that is very rarely the case. In the song Braxton focuses on love and that is a major part of how I feel about love but also about other things in life in general. I mean sometimes all you need to do is wait and trust that everything will work out right. You never know until you wait. I am not saying that is the easiest thing to do but it much better then going in circles or always hitting dead ends.

Like I said since everything does not work out on my watch or in my time period I might as while sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery. You get plenty of chances to mess up in life and learn from your mistakes. Some mistakes are unintentional and some (well you know). Why make unintentional mistakes on top of intentional mistakes? Of course you have to take risks some times but doing something out right just because you wanted to see the outcome of it is just dumb, especially when your the one who gets hurt.
But you live, you learn, and then you do it all over again. ;-}

How much is too much?

Have you ever stopped and thought how much is to much? I am not talking about one specific thing. I am talking everything, in economics it has to do with opportunity cost. What do you have to give up or wait to have in order to get or give something else? I guess some of us never think about that until the problem presents itself. It can be simple things such as getting a lunch from Taco Bell instead Chili's on Monday and being able to get more groceries on Friday (well hopefully you get the point). Or something big like spending time talking with a friend who is having trouble until the wee hours in the morning and getting up late or missing work. Is that too much? As a friend who is in need and as a friend indeed I would say no. Of course the next day I might have a different opinion. But a lot of things in life have a price tag. It might not be a monetary price tag but it will cost you.
So the next time you invest your time, effort, or even money just think about you will be getting or giving up in return. :-D

Hey there, face here!

Hey just wanted to write and say something because I haven't written in a while. And I know a lot of you were worried about me (spudnik ;P). But I am okay just working hard for my money. Can't talk long so I will write longer later. Peace. B)

"On the Real" #4

This is not a direct order nor it is a question but more of a persuasive push. This a quote that I thought of, I thought it was a cute quote.
I have nothing to say, this definitely is a first. Well I guess I will just babble for a minute. So my job is getting better and I am beginning to open up more. I have a conference to attend in three days in Columbus, OH. For some reason I am really nervous but hopefully that will pass before I actually get there.
Other than that nothing much is really going on. I have just really been thinking about life really hard. I would love to share it and I will eventually. As soon as all my thoughts come together. Plus my brain is too tired to really think that hard right now (just kidding). I have the time right now but I will share later. Peace out. -Jailyn :$

How deep are relationships in relation to marriage?

This is a question that I was thinking about the other day. What I meant by this is how deep are dating relationships in relation to marriage? Do you have to be dating to know that the person you are with is the right one for you. Can you just go from friends to marriage or do you have be in a committed relationship first. Personally I feel like if you know then you know go for it. You only get to fall in love the first time once, so make it count. This does not mean that every friend is necessarily up for grabs. It just means if you feel the time is right don't be afraid to dive in and make that relationship count for all it's worth. Don't go off wasting time looking when the one you belong with is right under you nose. Just think of it this way, you can skip the who-ha of dating ups and downs and just get right to the good stuff.

Personal Note: For those of you who watch 'Girlfriends' on UPN, Monday nights. I stated a while ago that I love that show. Well a lot of my friends say I remind them of Joan (I don't know why, so always runs away her men). Well it is probably because I am so picky to them but whatever. Well one thing I want that Joan has is a William. A male confident that I can confide in. Well the other day I found one. Just wanted to share that. So long. :-P

HAPPY 4th OF JULY

HAPPY 4th of JULY! HOPE THE HOLIDAY IS A BLAST! :)

Old Memories

Today is corporate wide volunteer day for Target (that is where I am doing my internship). So our Target decided to volunteer to do a cookout at the Senior Community Center. It was very fun and rewarding. We barbecued hot dogs and hamburger, they loved it. After the cookout the seniors were taken inside to watch "Elvis" perform. The majority of the attendees were women and they had a ball. We played bingo, they LOVE bingo, and they didn't even want to stop and eat. But once they did they enjoyed that too (boy could they eat). While cleaning up this little old lady came up to me and she really appreciated it. She started to explain how most of them were widows and they just enjoy coming and spending time with each other and us. That comment by itself made the whole day worth doing. Just to know that the little things you do are appreciated. -Jailyn

The Power of Music

Oh the power of music. I has the potential to soothe, calm, relax or even anger. It has the potential to arouse emotions that you didn't even know were there. Three of my favorite songs (I have so many but these touch me in a special way) are You by Jesse Powell, Dontchange by Musiq, and For You by Kenny Lattimore. I love these songs for the message that they send. These songs are love songs at their finest. I like other songs that have nothing to do with love but these have the most impact on me. Next time you have a chance look up these songs and their lyrics I am sure you'll be touched too. :)

Lighting Speed

The speed of light is known to travel...? Okay well I have no earthly idea, I am a business major not a physics major (but if you know feel free to tell me, I love to learn). Well sometimes it can seem that life travels just as fast as the speed of light. Have you ever taken a moment to think about exactly where you are in life? I mean really sit down and realize how life can fly by. This includes those of you who are making the most of it. I mean no matter how you try to slow it up you can't. That is why I am a firm advocate of living life to the fullest. I mean do what you want to do try to have no regrets. Go skiing, deep sea diving, tell the that special someone you can't live without them. Do whatever it takes in the end to say that you did what you could with what you had. But while on this journey called life make sure that you are helping others along the way. Make sure that you do tell those who mean something to you how much you appreciate them. And cherish the moments of life that make everything seem worthwhile.

Live, love, and be happy. -Jailyn ;-)

Solitude

I have been "privileged" this summer to really enjoy the company of, well, myself. Although this may seem to others as a sign of loneliness (at times it is), to me it can be a liberating experience. It is a chance for me to get to know myself better. Other times it is sheer boredom, at times I almost wreck my brain trying to find things to do. I would love to hang out with my friends but most of them live to far. So I either end up entertaining myself or letting the TV do it for me (although sleep has become a much desired time filler). But all in all it has been a good experience for me because I am going to be an RA this semester in school. I figured I'll be spending a considerable amount of time by myself and this is helping me get used to it. But I been making the most of it so it's not that bad. :)

Question for thought:
How deep are relationships in relation to marriage?

"Ohana"

Ohana is the Hawaiian word for family; to me one of the most important groups of people in the my life. I believe that when it all comes down to it you're family is the one who should be there for you no matter what. Unfortunately this is not always the case because of circumstances such as divorce, adoption, etc. Even then you should still know that you're family is there for you, they might not be together and you might not be bounded together by blood but you are joined together by love and there is nothing stronger.
Divorce is an ugly situation and can damage people far more than people give it credit. The important thing to remember in situation like that is that is not you're fault and divorce does not make anyone love you less.
Adoption is the same way, just because you might not have the same genes does not mean you are less apart of the family than anyone else. You have the same claim to fame as anyone else in your family.
Although this is not always the case remember no matter how far you go a good family will always be there waiting for you at the end of a dark tunnel. -Jailyn :-}

Girlfriends

The UPN show "Girlfriends" is one of my favorite shows. I like the show because it shows young black professional women who have been blessed with each others' friendship. Which causes me to realize how blessed I am to have the same. I am surrounded by a group of young black soon-to-be professional young ladies. Friendships are so important but they need love to grow. Friends are the ones who make certain situations a little better. This is why I don't know where I would be without some of my friends.

To all my friends out there, I love you guys and I truly appreciated everything you have done for me. -Jailyn 0:-)

Jailyn Trivia

Welcome to Jailyn Trivia, if you can answer all these questions correctly GREAT! Let's go!

What is my biggest fear?

What is my major and what do I aspire to be?

What are my parents' occupations?

What is my favorite color?

What high school did I attend and what college do I attend?

Who is my favorite group?

Who would I marry in a perfect world? (This is a tough one, the person is not famous)

What are major some things I look for in a potential significant other?

What are some of my pet peeves?

Name 3 of my closest friends.

Good Luck! If you know me this will be a piece of cake. -Jailyn ;]'

Preparing for things ahead

The Lord has this strange way of preparing you for things ahead. When I was 16 I was involved in a situation that left me with negative views about most guy and girl "friendships."(Hence part of the reason I asked earlier can men and women just be friends). The situation got a little out of hand and I had to step in and finally speak my mind. Unfortunately that didn't go over very well it was like my opinion or perhaps feelings didn't matter. The funny thing is that you never know when you will have to deal with the same situation or the same people again. When the situation happened the first time I was devastated at the outcome and hurt by the actions and words of those involved.
Fortunately four years later and a lot more mature the situation is a lot easier to deal with. I mean I wasn't totally cool about the situation at first. As a matter of fact I felt as though I had been warped back in time and was 16 again. It got easier as I thought about how it happened four years ago and that seemed to ease my mind. Of course this time I wanted to be a little more descriptive when I told the person my feelings but then I thought why even bother. If the person hasn't changed in four years but I have why go back there. Why revisit a memory that I has tried so hard to delete out of my mind. I guess there are just times in your life that you have to just let stuff roll off your shoulder. -Jailyn :)

Reaching Contentment

Although it has been through up, downs, tears, and much hard work I have almost reached contentment. Reaching contentment is a goal that I want to strive to achieve. This is basically being ability to accept the things that you don't have the able to change. I mean I can't change the way I look without losing a lot of myself so I have found contentment in that. I mean this doesn't mean I am always satisfied this just means I am able to say I can deal with it.

Reaching contentment is not something that is reached easily and it takes time, patience, and understanding. It takes you accepting your faults and strengths and turn them into opportunities.

I can't say I have completely reached contentment in my 20 years. But I know that I will keep striving to I reach that goal. -Jailyn :]

"So Close, Yet So Far"

I am not sure how many of you are familiar with the term "so close, yet so far." It is a term that describes the state I am in now. There is something that I want really, really bad. It so close I can touch it yet so far beyond my reach. This has to be one of the biggest frustrations out there. I mean it's like if you have no job and you want a sports car. Now you can go to the dealership look at the car, test drive it, talk to a salesperson but you have no means to get the car. So basically you're plum out of luck. But let's say you do work, you still may not be able to afford a sports car. So you are closer but not close enough. This leaves you in a bind. And that is where I am now, in a bind. I know I can't get everything I want but this is very different. Maybe the Lord is telling me this is not what I need so I am going to just wait for Him. He knows best.

Anyway I went out of town this weekend and it proved to be a very strange and quite entertaining weekend. Let's see some highlights I had a major breakthrough with a new friend I met. I was able to get to know some people better. And I got a chance to see first hand what it feels like to re-live something you tried so hard to blank out you memory. I'll explain everything later. C'ya -Jailyn :)

"On the Real" # 3

Well so far this summer has been a success I guess (oh, that rhymed). I starting to really talk more at work and that is a good thing (I hope, let's keep our fingers crossed). I will be working overnight next week so that should be lots of fun. But other than that nothing really big is going on. Well I am very tired but just wanted to write so later. -Jailyn ;)

"Independent Woman" and "Bills, Bills, Bills"

Every girl wants to be an Independent Woman. Most of us want to stand up and proudly proclaim that we can take care of ourselves. But is that the main reason to be an Independent Woman? Not necessarily but I have to agree with Destiny's Child when they said "The shoes on my feet I've bought it, The clothes I'm wearing I've bought it, The rock I'm rockin' I've bought it." That has to be one of the greatest feelings in the world. I love that fact that when I get my check I can buy anything I want. I mean if it is within my means it can be mine. Of course, very rarely does it work that way. They also asks some important questions when they said "Can you pay my bills?, Can you pay my telephone bills?, Can you pay my automo' bills? " These bills are not cheap nor are they paid automatically by the financial fairy godmother. Every month just like clock work they are there to reap the benefits of your labor.

I mean for the 20 minutes my check is in my hand before it goes in the bank and into someone else's hand, I feel really like my labor was well worth it. I really feel that the ultimate "Independent Woman." Of course that feeling is gone in a flash but it comes back every two weeks. It really gives me something to look forward to after a long day. :)

I am what I am, and that is the best I can be

"I am what I am and that is the best I can be." -Jailyn

This statement holds more and more true to me everyday I live on. We seem to live in a world where the mask we use to cover our faces seem to be more like the real thing. We have gotten use to the mask and transformed ourselves into what someone else wants us to be. We do it for our mother, father, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. But why? My philosophy has always been if the person is not willing to do the same for you then why do it for them. You see while your busy changing yourself for them, they are staying the same. This means just as they found something wrong with you the first time they will find something wrong with you again. I guess what I am trying to say is change isn't bad if the motives behind it are positive. Make sure the change is beneficial to you.

I was faced with a challenge the other day to accept something that happened to me a while ago. When the situation first presented itself I thought the end results were all my fault. And I was convinced that they were by the people involved. I tried to change and in the process almost lost sight of who I was. Soon I started to look at myself and what I had to offer. I decided that I had more offer than they had given me credit for. This made me realize that I was so much better than the situation and the people involved. I thought it had been my fault and had tried to change the situation by changing myself. This taught me a very important lesson things aren't always what they seem to be. And also hiding behind a mask will only cover you up for so long soon the real you is bound to come through. >)

More than Friends

Is it possible for men and women to be just friends?

I would have to yes unfortunately in the world we live in it is rarely accepted and is often looked down upon. It is rarely accepted and looked down upon because of the odds that are against it.
Although men and women have several differences a majority of the time they can still be platonic friends. Knowing each other's boundaries is very important. The friendship can be corrupted in an instance when boundaries are crossed. Lines can be crossed in a moment of weakness, like hanging out late at a male friend's place after a heated argument with your boyfriend is not the best thing. This is when you must think level headed. Although you two are just friends you have to also realize a lot of other things are involved like emotions, hormones, etc.

There are times when a simple friendship can turn into more but when is it the right time to cross that line? Well that needs to be a rational decision made by the two people involved.

You know yourself the best. If you feel as though you and a person of the opposite sex can just be friends then do it. A lot of times it helps if the other person is not physically attracted to you. -Jailyn :~)

"On the Real" #2

Hey guys,

Well I am happy to say the older I get the wiser I get. What I am trying to say is the more I mature the better I handle situations. I see myself giving good, sound advice. I feel as though I am turning out well. Even though growing older makes me a bit uneasy, at times, I must admit it is rather exhilarating. I also handle the relationships I am in on a day to day basis better. This level of sophistication is a level only reached by those mature enough to handle. Guess that's why I made it (or at least getting closer).



Question to ponder on: Can men and women just be friends?
-Jailyn ;}

What about your friends?

What about your friends? What makes your friends so special? What makes them the people you want to spend your time with?

Well I don't know about your friends but; my friends are the people I call on for a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with, or just a someone to chill with. My friends love me for who I am and that is the best thing they can do. They make "venting" fun. They make virtually everything we do together fun. They encourage me to push harder and be a better person. My friends give me advice (even when I don't ask for it), they listen to me, they make me feel like I matter. They are at times the best backbone to have. That is exactly why I am selective when it comes to choosing friends. Not everyone is a friend I want to have. They are certain qualities I look for in a friend. I don't them take a test or anything but it is important that we share the same values and beliefs.* No matter what I know that I can count on them for anything.

I love all my friends dearly and thank them for all they do and are, including putting up with me. Special thanks to my girls S.A.L.S.A. , Naya, and Kristyn, Monica

*The same things are important in a boyfriend/girlfriend or more.

Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone

When is it safe to move out your comfort zone? Most people construct a comfort zone for themselves by surrounding themselves with situations or people they fill comfortable with. These comfort zones can sometimes hinder people from growing as a person. They can be restricting and cause barrier to form around the person. Closing out new people or new situations. On the other hand some people never settle down enough to form a barrier and this can cause just as much trouble. This could mean that the person will more than likely only rely on himself/herself and can have deep trust issues.

So does that mean that it is never going to be a win-win situation? So when is it safe to break down the barriers and move on? Or start building more trust relationships? The best way to avoid both situations is to give yourself an even balance of change in your life. This can mean anything from trying a new restuarant to trying a new city or job. Going out and exploring, doing something that is not in character of you. To those who have already built up your barrier, you can tear it down a little at a time, you don't have to do it all at once. Try doing small things first and then more on to something bigger. To those who have not built the barrier because lack of trust or for whatever reason, follow the same advice. Start little by little, things will change, hopefully for the better, over time.

Until next time... :} Jailyn

"Comfortable in the Skin Your In"

What exactly is "being comfortable in the skin your in?"

I have found out for me the true meaning is exactly what it says, being able to accept yourself for yourself. That means you judging you for and by yourself. Not trying to fit the mold that others have made for you. Living by your standards and being happy with that.

I believe that it varies in different people. I believe it is the air of confidence that you have. You have to have that confidence or else you will be forced into a mold of someone elses' standards. Being comfortable in who you are. Having the ability to feel "sexy" by your own standards.

"Just be you being you, Love yourself for only you can do it the best, and Live, love, and levitate (rise) far above everyone's expectations" -Jailyn =)

"On the Real" #1

Well everything is pretty cool with me. I am tired from my job I have to leave the house at 6:30 to get there by 7 so I am tired but that is about it.

The people from my job think I am so quiet. If only they knew, just kidding. I am quiet and very shy, ask anyone who knows me.

Well I have to go to bed my eyes are about to close on their own. So long folks. :P

My Take on Love

How do you know when your in love? Does love dissipate over time? Is unrequited love still love? If it seems to good to be true, can it be? If you loved then lost how long will the love (or the pain of it) remain? What makes true love so true?

I've heard the saying there are no good guys out there. Sometimes I want to believe this but something in me keeps telling me to hold on. And as much as us girls say this guys say the same thing. Maybe we are both just getting our wires crossed. Maybe we are both are looking in the wrong places.

I know personally for me it is when I see other people getting together and I am sometimes like man why can't that be me. But I have hope the one day it will be and it will be worth the wait. Yes I do get discouraged but it helps to know that the perfect fit could be out there for me, waiting patiently just like I am.

Blast to the Future

Take a moment and think about where you will be in 10 years? Really contemplate on this...

So how does the future look? Do you like what you see? If so this is the time to seize the opportunity to make it happen. If not then vise versa, this is the time to change what you don't like. The choice is yours (with the help of the MAN who sits on high).

I realized the other day that word association is very important. This exercise is used in therapy to help the therapist help the person open up about his/her feelings. The way you associate the words tells a lot about you, like for me engagement makes me think of marriage. For others engagement may make them think of appointment. Different strokes for different folks.

Word Association (take the first word that comes to mind):

• life
• tears
• happiness
• love
• man (this can be someone special to you)
• woman

All these words mean something different to different people what do they mean to you? If you find any good websites about word association let me know. ;)

Making Choices

Choices and decisions are important factors in life. Making sure all choices and decisions are made with a clear conscience is very important. This choices/decisions include anything from your life plan to what to say to an angry friend. When in doubt keep you mouth shut.

Well on the topic of decisions I made some choices the other day about exactly it is I want to do with the rest of my life. Right now I am a junior in college and my schedule is pretty set for the next two years but then what. I always had an alternative plan A and plan B. Now I have revamped my whole plan process. You see my plan A was the career path I wanted to take upon graduation and plan B was marriage after graduation. That may sound a bit off to some but it all makes sense. When you get married you are one person living in two separate bodies (of course, you keep your individuality). When people don't look at marriage like this is complicates things. But anyway I thought if I got married then my plan A would be ruined because I would have to include my significant other in my plans and combine it with his plan. Well the other day I created a new plan that combines plan A and B. It is only a blueprint but it's worth a try.

The reason the I had two plans in the first place is a really long story. Maybe in another blog ;)

First Time/ Movie Log

Okay so this is my first time writing so I am new to this whole thing. This is pretty cool, it makes me feel so invigorated. I am not much of a writer but just bare with me. To all of you who read this page I would like to say that thank you. I know that this is not the most interesting page but thanks for visiting anyway.

Well today was my movie a day just to relax and watch movies. I really like romantic movies, so I got what I thought would be just that. I watched and watched waiting for boy meets girl, falls for girl, messes up with girl but ends up getting girl back. And to my surprise and about 3 movies later I realized in all the movies I rented none of this happened. I was totally disappointed. One of my favorite love movies is Love Actually. I love it especially for its controversy. Also the movie All About You is really nice if you like nice wholesome movies with some mildly strong language(not as much as most movies though). I feel as Hollywood is trying more and more to grasp the coat tails of reality by making these movies with realistic endings. But if I wanted reality I wouldn't need to see movies because I live reality everyday.

Next time I will be a little more careful about what I read on the back of the video box. :)